The #drwhochat Quotefile

Volume VI, Issue X: October 2002

Compiled by Nathan Roberts

Oct 1

NateBeingABadNetizen: And then there was the time he climbed to the top shelf of the pantry and discovered the box of catnip tea...
NateBeingABadNetizen: When we got home there were torn up bags of catnip tea strewn all over the kitchen floor
NateBeingABadNetizen: And one zonked out cat in the corner
PeterJF: and right on cue, the alley cats are having it off

Oct 3

Alden gurns
DoctorWho gorns
Alden looks around for Nate. Where's he gorn?
Alryssa gurns
Alryssa: pop-gorn?
DoctorWho: Pop gorns the weasel?
Arthur_the_Aardvark: weasily done
Alden: I never could work out that rhyme. Did weasels used to be inflatible?
Alryssa o.O
Alden: *BANG!* "Shit, stepped on another one"

Alden looks at spam. Free HGH! What is HGH?
Alden: apparently it makes you lose weight, reverse aging, and build muscle
DoctorWho: And takes out the garbage too
Alden: so give it to a baby, and you end up with arnold Schwarzenembryo

AudioBoy: Whom: Well, I'll be happy to send it to you. I guess you won't need the software CDs, since they're for PC.
Whomiga: I'll take them anyway - they don't weigh much - and I do have PC Scsi interfaces sitting around
Whomiga: I could use it in another PC, if I get around to building my other box
AudioBoy: Okay. Well, how about I ship you everything first and that way I can give you a shipping total.
Whomiga: I'm sounding more and more like Nate everyday :-)

Oct 4

MegL: the tv coverage of the hurricane is almost nil
Totally_Drained_Dalek: Meg: Wait til it makes landfall in the morning.
Jondar: where's it expected to make landfall?
MegL: Louisiana
Totally_Drained_Dalek: Meg: They may have trouble getting people to the landfall point between the storm surge and the swamp.
MegL: well they told everyone to get out of there already
MegL: it sounded like they were having more trouble getting the people not raised around there out than the true locals as well, though that might be a accidental media slant
MegL: but Weather channel was talking to someone who wasn't going to leave and he had a scottish accent
MegL wondered why he thought he could deal with 140+ winds
Alryssa: Meg: I call it natural selection ;)
Alden: I call it airbourne scots
Alryssa: Darwin's theory in motion.
Alryssa: Like, 140mph kind of motion
Alden: motion being the operative word. :)
SeriousJ: you know, with those kilts, I would ahve thought Scots would be a bit more sensative about blowing winds
RedHatNate: Gives new meaning to the term windsurfing....
Jondar: "Survival Of Those-Who-Resist-Hurricane-Force-Winds"
Totally_Drained_Dalek: Alden: More like Scottish Tumbleweed.
Alden: Nate: I'm visualising that scene in "Twister" with the cow flying past, only instead it's a scotsman puffing away on the bagpipes
MegL: lol
Totally_Drained_Dalek: LOL!
Jondar: ... and you can see under his kilt! >:-)
RedHatNate: ROTFL
Jondar: of course... tornado meets bagpipes... bags of wind would probably get along fine... >:-)
Jondar mallets keyboard again... it's "Wendy" not "Wenday"!
Alden: I thought it was Thursday
Totally_Drained_Dalek: Jondar: Are you sure it's not Windy?

I_Am_Legend: Micheal Jackson visited Britain recently, and was seen holding in his hand one of those things that help your breathe
I_Am_Legend: His nose

Arthur_the_Aardvark joined the channel
PeterJF: hey man, how's Ethel
RedHatNate: Ethel?
PeterJF: medium: television
PeterJF: location: britain
PeterJF: genre: comedy
PeterJF: title: monty pythin's flying circus
PeterJF: component: sketch
PeterJF: setting: bookshop
PeterJF: character: proprietor
PeterJF: performer: john cleese
PeterJF: reference: book title
PeterJF: book title: "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying"
RedHatNate: a ha
RedHatNate: quantitty?
PeterJF: Holy repulsive aardvark tit's batman

DirtyOldMan looks around
DirtyOldMan: I need to defrag my room
Alden: Same here
DirtyOldMan: hm.
DirtyOldMan: Defrag sounds like what happens to a monster in Doom in Nightmare mode...
Alden tries to run Norton's Speed Disk on his room
DirtyOldMan: Error: Unsupported filesystem type
Alden watches it pile everything against one wall
Alden: well, that *did* maximise the free space...
DirtyOldMan: Yeah, but it didn't exactly optimize access to the existing data ^_^

PeterJF: i need to defrag my life
Alden: Peter: Your life is already defragged - all the used days are at one end.
Whomiga: Why don't you just frag your life and get it over with
PeterJF kills everyone in the channel
DirtyOldMan is now known as DirtyOldCorpse
PeterJF: i need to defrag my life's work
DirtyOldCorpse: Theta-G? ^_^
PeterJF kills nathan again
PeterJF: stab stab stab
PeterJF: chop chop chop
DirtyOldCorpse is now known as DirtyOldPieces
PeterJF: *flamethrower*
DirtyOldPieces is now known as DirtyOldAshes
PeterJF: slice slice slice
PeterJF: garnish garnish garnish
PeterJF: damn. overcooked
DirtyOldAshes: He's thrown everything but the kitchen sink at me (and I suspect that's next)
PeterJF: no. have the pipes first
PeterJF: *impale*
PeterJF: now for the sink
PeterJF looks at the sky
PeterJF: let 'er go!
PeterJF: *release*
PeterJF: *fall*
DirtyOldAshes: The question at this point is, is there anything left of me for him to throw shit /at/?
PeterJF idly sprays acid at the remnants
DirtyOldAshes is now known as DirtyOldPuddleOfMush
PeterJF partially puts his thumb over the water hose and washes the channel
DirtyOldPuddleOfMush is washed out into the gutter
DirtyOldPuddleOfMush: ahhhhh, no place like home

PeterJF stares at Mac OS' internet file extention mapping
PeterJF: why
PeterJF: is
PeterJF: there
PeterJF: no
PeterJF: entry
PeterJF: for
PeterJF: TXT FILES!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Alden: cheese
DoctorWho: o_O
PeterJF says to Mac OS:
PeterJF: NO!
PeterJF: I think I will install MacAss so I can enjoy watching my OS fail to locate it with both hands
DoctorWho suddenly envisions a joke icon for the Windows desktop
DoctorWho: My Ass
PeterJF: it's not like i'm asking it to make the HUGE intuitive leap of understanding that html files are text. no. but in 2002 you'd think an OS could HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT A TEXT FILE IS ABOUT
DoctorWho: The guys at Apple got themselves some good shit there
Alden: perhaps it's wondering if you mean Mac, Unix or Dos format text file. :)
PeterJF: of course, i could make three clicks and map .txt but i feel better for having griped
PeterJF chokes Alden by tipping a sack of linefeeds down his throat

Oct 8

ArtieEffem sees that the image on his monitor is starting to go off-center :/
Alden:                    Does this help?

Alryssa: cereal killing... $4 for frosties. yeesh
Alden: $4? Far out!
Alden: they put gold in the frosting or something?
Alryssa: They should, at that price.
Alden: There's a frabreze egg at the bottom
Whomiga: faberge, you mean? :-)
Kiri`: fabreze? the dry cleanign sutff.. keeps it fresh ;)
Alden: poke fun not at my spelling. :)
Alryssa giggles
Alden: bloody Frech spellings...
Alden: er, french
Alden quits while he's not ahead

Oct 9

Alden: Why do they call America the free world anyway? I've been there. it's expensive

Oct 10

ArtieEffem: Blue Pepsi... I bought a 20oz bottle at the store a couple months ago
ArtieEffem: The checker commented that it looked like Windex
ArtieEffem: I said, for all I know that's what it tastes like.
ArtieEffem: I was right.

PeterJF: my HD's keep sleeping and waking <robin leach>AND I DON"T KNOW WHY</robin leach>
NathanR: They're narcoleptic?
PeterJF: I doubt that, because
PeterJF: zzzzzzzzzz
PeterJF: sorry, where was I?

PeterJF: hey dave, mossy told me about cmd-v on bootup
dha: uh... I forget what that does...
dha hasn't gotten all the start up keystrokes down yet...
PeterJF: verbose - it shows the dos-like bootup of OS X instead of the apple logo
PeterJF: or rather, unix-like :-)
dha: but it's BSD-like, not dos-like. :-)
NathanR: Actually, unix-like is probably closer to the truth
PeterJF: snap
NathanR: Brain.
dha: BRANES!
dha: "What do we want??"
dha: "BRANES!!"
dha: "When do we want it??"
dha: "BRANES!!"

Oct 11

Alden: Unreal2003 works on my 'puter. ^_^
Greebo_T_Cat: Alden: that puts you in the minority
Greebo_T_Cat: :)
Alden: Hehehehe
Arthur_THE_Aardvark: oh - it's as user friendly as NWN then...?
ZygonC: I take it there are issues with Unreal2003?
Alden: no idea
Alden: Works on my computer, so I'm happy as shit
Greebo_T_Cat: Arthur_THE_Aardvark: Actually i got NWN to work first time.... and the UT2003 Beta.
Greebo_T_Cat: But UT2003 full? HAHAHAHAHA
Greebo_T_Cat: This is their copyright protection. if noone can play it, noone can pirate it
DoctorWho: Ash: This is why I like to use the term 'usage protection'
DoctorWho: Protects the vendor from you using it
DoctorWho: Of course, it doesn't protect them from you giving them money for it
DoctorWho: That's the ultimate business model of course. Taking in money without having to give back any actual product.
Greebo_T_Cat: I'm amazed MS havn't used it fully...
Greebo_T_Cat: "They cannot find any errors, if we don't let them install the software!"
DoctorWho: Ash: Just you wait.
Greebo_T_Cat: "Bwaha! Excellent... Now for my next trick, i shall steal some candy from a baby..."
Greebo_T_Cat: "And then charge it 3 times the amount for the same candy 2 years later, but with holes in it...."
DoctorWho is surprised XP hasn't turned out the same way
Greebo_T_Cat: Nate: I'm shocked. XP is proving almost stable... insofar as windows goes anyway. at least on par with 2k
ZygonC: XP Pro is stable as far as Windows go
DoctorWho: Ash: Oh My God kinda stable you mean?
Greebo_T_Cat: Nate: pretty much.
ZygonC: Have Win2k with SP3 installed at home. Often had my PC up and running for upto a week without crashes
Greebo_T_Cat: maybe with a full stop at the end
DoctorWho: Wow.
Greebo_T_Cat: SP3's stability depends on your hardware...
Greebo_T_Cat: in my experience, as long as you don't use your hardware, SP3 is stable.
DoctorWho: I couldn't even get SP3 to install
Greebo_T_Cat: Theres the 'Can't use can't complain' policy in action
DoctorWho: Point
ZygonC: Really? didn't know that. Seems stable enough to me. Did have to disable the autoupdate feature after installing SP3 though due to changes made by Bill
Greebo_T_Cat: "Microsoft: We ate the people your parents warned you about."
Greebo_T_Cat: and no, that was not a typo

Greebo_T_Cat: This school is blessed with the most dangerous type of computer user... the person who *thinks* they know what they are doing....
ZygonC: I still remember the support call I had from a user once who said he was using Windows 95, Apple Macintosh version :)
Greebo_T_Cat: I had to point out where the ctrl key was to the head of IT yesterday...
Greebo_T_Cat: 'Duuuuh, my computer won't let me log on...'
Greebo_T_Cat: 'have you pressed alt+ctrl+del?'
Greebo_T_Cat: 'muuuuuuuh... i dunno....'
Greebo_T_Cat: and that was just the teachers.
StaticShadow: how old are these kids? :)
Greebo_T_Cat: the pupils couldn't form sentances. they just grunted and banged rocks together

Topic on #drwhochat is:
Greebo_T_Cat joined the channel
Greebo_T_Cat wanders in with his 'i need a miracle' sign
Greebo_T_Cat blinks at the topic
Greebo_T_Cat: QF?
Greebo_T_Cat rips up the sign

Oct 12

DoctorWho ponders gentoo
Alden: gentoo?
DoctorWho: Alden: It's a version of Linux that works by basically compiling everything from scratch
DoctorWho: which begs the question...
DoctorWho: Is a Gentoo user called a...
DoctorWho: Gentoolman?

Oct 14

NathanR2 discovered something about real bacon this morning
NathanR2: As opposed to turkey bacon
NathanR2: It's nothing but fat!
Alryssa: Yes, it is
Alryssa: Brit bacon is so much better....
Alryssa: Turkey bacon is good.
Alryssa: I almost died when I saw how you Yanks cut bacon. Good *grief*.
NathanR2: I took 4 inch and a half-wide strips, microwaved them for 2 minutes, and when they came out they were about half an inch wide
Alryssa: "Where's the pork?"
Alryssa: Nate: a proper bacon sarny is a bacon sarny that actually contains about half a side of pig
NathanR2: LOL
Alryssa: I get all carnivorous just thinking about it.
Alryssa: Roar, and all that.
Greebo_T_Cat: i used an entire pack of bacon in the sandwich for thete...
Alryssa: Ash was obviously attempting to kill Peter with a protein overload
Alryssa: What have I told you about killing your brother? Don't get grease stains on the carpet!
Alryssa: Most bacon sarnies only require about 4 slices of bacon at most... well, in my case, anyway
NathanR2: For a proper one or an improper one?
Alryssa: That would be decent. For indecent, see: Ash

Oct 18

SteveBreon: I have just added a new reason to why I will never join a fraternity.
NathanR: Steve: Besides the usual dumbassery you mean?
SteveBreon: My roommate wanted to be back at midnight last night to study for his Bio test today. Instead he got drunk off his ass, in fact I can smell the alcohol on his clothes in our dorm room, overslept, I woke him up 6 minutes ago when I got back from class. He had a bio test at 9. :)
SteveBreon: I know it is so terrible, but I am ... not happy, but laughing my ass off. Poetic justice is a wonderful thing.
NathanR: Ah, the usual dumbassery then ^_^
TomFODW: you don't have to belong to a frat to get yourself shitfaced
NathanR: But it certainly helps ^_^
AudioBoy: Steve: That's how college prepares you for life. You learn that nothing is as important as getting drunk off your ass and paying for it by missing an important deadline.

Greebo_T_Cat: well, with so many people selling 'genereic' viagra, they're sure to be facing stiff competition....
dha beats ash over the head with a sausage

Oct 19

DoctorWho: or "not tonight, I have a headacle"
DoctorWho: ache
Shel: ooh, i like that word headacle
DoctorWho: headacre: A measure of brain capacity
Shel: the brainless thing that grows out of some people's neck

PeterJF: black Army hella copters swarmin' over my house!
PeterJF: well, it's an apartment...
PeterJF: and i can't actually -see- the helicopter
PeterJF: but it's certainly loitering up there
Greebo_T_Cat: loitering with intent to hock-a-loogie

Greebo_T_Cat: Interactive sensory response system: This system is composed of sensors embedded in the Realdoll's breasts, vaginal and anal entries. The doll is connected via an ethernet cable (up to 100') to your PC, and when the various sensors are triggered by activity, the doll will respond with sensor specific audio.
SteveBreon: LOL
Greebo_T_Cat: ok, as funny as the mental image of someone trying to shag one of these things is, the image of someone trying to shag one of these things with an ethernet cable hanging out of it is even funnier...
Greebo_T_Cat: if it was a shemale would it require a crossover cable?
random_C: someone went on Jerry springer complaining his friend had been shagging his girlfriend, and when they brought the GF on, it was a realdoll
PeterJF: strom and jesse are leaving the building next month folks. can we get an amen please
Greebo_T_Cat: pete: real doll can give you aman

Oct 20

Shel: man, is my computer fucked...
random_C: shel - windows?
Shel: no, winamp did it
Greebo_T_Cat: in the study with the candlestick?
DoctorWho: Ash: Um... At first I connected that comment with "man, is my computer fucked" and not "winamp did it"...

Oct 25

PeterJF: this is your brain (K9)
IdleEric: Go fetch, K9
PeterJF: this is your brain on SDL (K9 with coronet of rassilon dropped on)
PeterJF: er, LSD
PeterJF: er, DSL

Oct 27

Pete_Wisdom: I just rediscovered my Buffy Once More With Feeling tape
Pete_Wisdom wonders why this tape is so pristine and then realizes it was recorded in SP
Dreethal: Best mistake you ever made?

Warren_Worthington_III wants to see a Doctor Who/Crossing Over with John Edward fic
Kiri`: wha'ts john gonna do.. tell him about his previous lives? it's not like the Dr wouldn't.. then agian.. 8th doc..
DrFaust: "Okay, Mr Bowman...I'm getting...a short man. He's very excited about something. And there's an angry fat man behind him. Oh, now I'm getting someone more relaxed. He's worried about celery..."

Oct 28

PeterJF: i really should go home so I can come back here in a few hours
PeterJF: but i'm waiting for the scanner and i wanted to scan this crap before i leave :)
PeterJF points to a pile of pictures labeled 'crap'
Jondar points to a scanner, also labeled 'crap'... *kicks scanner* doesn't want to work half the time :-P
PeterJF: lol
Alden points to his pile of dung labeled 'crap'

Oct 29

PeterJF still needs to get those Key To Time sets
Whomiga: One Key To Time set would do for me
PeterJF: I still need to get that Key To Time set and fwap Rich

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