The #drwhochat Quotefile

Volume VI, Issue V: May 2002

Compiled by Nathan Roberts


May 1

2:25AM
PeterJF: SJ: i'm watching you right now. I have a computer with DSL in a nearby building
SeriousJ: dsl?
PeterJF: it's like lsd, but more addictive

4:06AM
Alden: I so want Star Trek, where you program a computer by saying "I want you to do this and this and this"
Alden: Then I will retire to a small padded cell somewhere
SeriousJ: "Working. Insufficent technology."
Oh_sod_it: ..and it can tell you 're talking to it cos you say 'computer', yet ignores you if you just use the word 'computer' in a sentence
SeriousJ: OSI- Like how the control panel ignores Riker's butt?
PeterJF: riker sits on the control panel?
Alden: Now that's error anticipation.
PeterJF: spoken like a dev
...
Alden: "What if someone sits on the control panel?" "Who would be *that* stupid??"
Oh_sod_it: and doors know when you want to go through them and not just walk past, and open conveniently when you finish a conversation
PeterJF: okay, if the heat signature is butt-like, ignore it
PeterJF: oh wait- we need to write a routing to distinguish between finger presses and the noses of exhausted users
...
Oh_sod_it: supposing he's tied up, and has to use his arse to send a distress signal?

May 3

3:22AM
DoctorWho: And while I'm at it, I'm anxiously waiting for everything to go wireless too :P
Alden: I have a wireless wire.
Alden holds it up for everyone to not see.
PeterJF points to a power outlet on the wall
PeterJF: that's the air amp i use when i play air guitar

May 5

2:36AM
Greebo_T_Cat: my dad said he was making 'breakfast sandwiches' and asked me if i'd like one... i said yes.
Greebo_T_Cat: i've just recieved 3 pieces of bread, between which there is: Bacon, sasauges, fried egg, more bacon, sasauges, cheese and fried onions.
Greebo_T_Cat: *blinks*
Greebo_T_Cat: this may or may not kill me
Alden: crikey
Alden: Your dad's not Dave Lister, by any chance?
DoctorWho: LOL
Greebo_T_Cat: Gods no.
Greebo_T_Cat: no chilli sauce, no chutney
DoctorWho: hm... bread, meat, cheese, onions... technically I think that covers all 4 food groups...
DoctorWho: At the same time, I can't bring myself to believe that such a dish is actually good for you.
Greebo_T_Cat: nate: i never said it was
DoctorWho: a) I was being sarcastic, b) That's the point
Greebo_T_Cat: c) *munch*
Alden: lol
DoctorWho: As Thete said at approximately this juncture while trying vegemite on toast, "Hm. I'm not dead."
DoctorWho: Though, that sandwich sounds like something I would make
DoctorWho: Double-decker... might even be big enough portions for me to consider it a 'meal'
Greebo_T_Cat: Nathan 'Steak? STEAK? Just gimme the whole damned cow and some napalm' Roberts

8:50AM
DoctorWho finishes debugging the toilet
DoctorWho: (we hope)
PeterJF: oh lordy. programmers fixing toilets?
RedQueen: Thete: it's a rough job market out there
DoctorWho: Thete: Yup.
DoctorWho: Fixing it from a programmer's perspective too

May 6

4:05AM
El_Zoof: Did you fix your dunnie?
El_Zoof: Sorry. Dunny?
DoctorWho: ?
Greebo_T_Cat: your shitter, your crap box, your windows emulator.
...
DoctorWho: "Windows emulator" LOL
DoctorWho: Yeah, it seems to be fixed
El_Zoof: So you're flushed with success
DoctorWho: *fwap*
El_Zoof: The royal wee followed by the royal flush
DoctorWho: *fwap*
El_Zoof: No more cistern errors
DoctorWho: *fwap*
El_Zoof: You may fwap all night, and I'll merely carry on undeturd
DoctorWho: *fwap*
Greebo_T_Cat: the standard of humour in this channel has really gone down the pan
DoctorWho: *fwap*
El_Zoof: Okay, so maybe that remark was a tad faecestious
DoctorWho: *fwap*
Greebo_T_Cat: sorry, just trying to flush it out of my cistern
DoctorWho: *fwap*
El_Zoof: Urine good form tonight
DoctorWho: *fwap*
El_Zoof: Driving you round the bend?
Greebo_T_Cat: i think we're driving nate round the (U) bend
Greebo_T_Cat: snap!
El_Zoof: snap
Greebo_T_Cat: argh!
El_Zoof: Maybe time to stop taking the piss
DoctorWho: *fwap*
Greebo_T_Cat: agreed, before the shit hits the fan
Alden stuffs Zoof into a toilet bowl and flushes repeatedly
El_Zoof: You'll never stop me going through the motions!
Greebo_T_Cat: *FWAP*

5:40AM
PeterJF pastes http://theta-g.com/webcam again to see of ash's computer tanslates the special character entity
PeterJF: Alden's browswers didn't
Greebo_T_Cat: i see the heart?
PeterJF: excellent
DoctorWho: entitty?
Greebo_T_Cat: nates got a one track mind.
Greebo_T_Cat: unfortunately, that one track involves penguins

May 7

9:19PM
PeterJF: someone once said that San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown likes italian leather shoes because they taste better

May 11

3:45AM
PeterJF: all i can say is: buy the ski mask, do the deed and then you can pay off the loan you took out to buy the blessed ski mask!

May 12

10:38PM
Alden: lol, bad pickup lines: "Is it hot in here or is it just you?"

May 13

2:52AM
Alryssa: Alryssa: Doing her part to make sure the Doctor Gets Some. :)

3:48AM
Greebo_T_Cat: Microsoft: Our operating system is just like our board of directors. Its full of 'holes.

1:58PM
PeterJF: i think leaving leela falling in love is good in that she's a liked character and bad stuff doesn't happen to her, but graham did it out of spite is what i read
StaticShadow: why?
PeterJF: because she essentially quit because she didn't get along with a coworker
NathanR: Tom? ^_^
PeterJF: /dcc send NathanR cupie.dol

May 14

4:11AM
NathanR: They sure didn't make it easy to set up Internet Explorer in Windows 98SE
Alden: well, no, where would be the fun in that?
NathanR: It wants me to install a modem, and Outlook Express before it even offers to launch IE
NathanR: Fortunately, I /think/ I know how to get around it
NathanR: There we go
Alden: No, you *will* be assimilated <waves laser pointer thingee>
NathanR: Trash the "Connection Wizard" folder and it fires up IE right away
NathanR: You WILL submit!
Greebo_T_Cat: Nathans in to Domination and punishment?
Greebo_T_Cat: wait, he plays with slackware... question answered
NathanR: *fwap*
Greebo_T_Cat: further proof
Greebo_T_Cat now has the mental image of a penguin in a rubber gimp suit
Greebo_T_Cat: yipes
NathanR: o_O
NathanR isn't even sure what a gimp suit is
Oh_sod_it: think pulp fiction
NathanR isn't even sure what pulp fiction is
Oh_sod_it: lol
Alden does a web search for gimp and finds a bunch of pages about graphics editing. doh!
Greebo_T_Cat shows nathan a clue
NathanR: Ash in #drwhochat with the Steel Chair
Greebo_T_Cat flicks up the steel chair and brings it down upon the top of nathans head
NathanR: I was right!
NathanR keels over
Greebo_T_Cat sets fire to nathan
Greebo_T_Cat: he would of wanted it that way
Greebo_T_Cat: ...
Greebo_T_Cat: well, he wouldn't.
NathanR: Hey, free cremation!
Greebo_T_Cat: but i would
Greebo_T_Cat: nate: thats nothing, the food for the wake is cooked *over* you. hows that for value for money

5:52AM
Greebo_T_Cat has been part of dwc since 1996. official old fart of the room ;P
StaticShadow: so ash, youve been here since the beginnig?
Greebo_T_Cat: Static: under one name or the other
NathanR has been here since 96 or 97
NathanR: Probably closer to 97
StaticShadow: cool
Greebo_T_Cat beats you all! hahaha! hahahahaahahhaha! ha....
Greebo_T_Cat: ha
Greebo_T_Cat: hrm.
Greebo_T_Cat: I have no life.
Greebo_T_Cat goes to shoot himself in the head
PeterJF: no! not the lead mind probe!

May 15

3:45PM
Alryssa has to figure out how the heck to fluff her hair up. -.-
gordon-r-d: Alryssa : you got a mains socket there?
Fwap!

May 16

3:19AM
Greebo_T_Cat: OSI: I sit next to the server cabinet at the .com i worked at. they were big, loud, and unpleasant.
Greebo_T_Cat: and took up a huge amount of room
Greebo_T_Cat: but enough of my co-workers...

May 20

12:30AM
PeterJF: am i awake?
Shel: nope
Shel: you are dreaming of me ;)
PeterJF: ahhhhh
Shel: oh wait, maybe it's a nightmare
PeterJF: ahhhhhgh!
Shel remembers she still has the staple gun, the rope, the handcuffs, and the superglue


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