The #drwhochat Quotefile

Volume IV, Issue IX: September 2000

Compiled by Nathan Roberts

why the hell do i keep doing this?
i must be crazy
i hope those @!#$ appreciate this,

Sat Sep 02 [01:26]
<SteveBreon> I've gotten a social life...
 * Alden recoils in horror
<cybertalus> steve: don't worry, social lives are non-addictive.
	     you'll return to normal soon enough.
<DoctorWho> <indicates Talus> Don't worry, what he says is true.  He
	    speaks from experience

Sat Sep 02 [01:38]
<DoctorWho> Hm.  I should write my own CD player if I'm going to do
	    this regularly
<DoctorWho> One that works the way I want it to...
<cybertalus> that's why i want god's job.  i wanna reprogram reality
	     so that it works the way i want it to

Sat Sep 02 [01:11]
<SteveBreon> I *hate* little kids
<talus-playing-civ> the big ones are worse.  they think they know
		    things and can change the world and all.  they
		    even want a special name.  "i'm a teenager"

Sun Sep 03 [23:35]
<cybertalus> steve: btw, "bizarro talus" is eaither a) redundant or b)
	     some very well adjusted, straight-laced corporate bore
	     who is a beach freak

Wed Sep 06 [22:33]
 * cybertalus knows people who swear the peace symbol is satantic
   because it's an upside down broken cross.
<cybertalus> personally i think they're just warmongering sods, but i
	     don't usually tell them that lest they prove me right by
	     punching me in the face.

Fri Sep 08 [03:03]
<cybertalus> i dunno nate, if i was to mix my own soft drinks, i'd be
	     dangerous.  i'd be forcing everyone i knew to try them,
	     and people'd start avoiding.....  brb, gonna go do a
	     googlesearch

Sun Sep 10 [18:13]
 * fuzzyoctopus doesn't understand spammers at all. I mean why would
   an 18 yr old girl be interested in a. retirement plans b. Viagra
   c. young, hot, college sluts
<TomFODW> you're NOT?
<TomFODW> uh-oh...better revise our entire marketing strategy...
<cybertalus> spam costs the spammers so little money, they don't care
	     about sending it anyway just on the 1 in a million chance
	     you are.
<cybertalus> plus i daresay they have no clue whether you're an 18
	     year-old girl or a 50 year-old man (who might just be
	     interested in all three)
<TomFODW> (note to self: 18 year old girls AREN'T interested in
	  retirement plans, viagra, and young hot college sluts)
 * fuzzyoctopus considers fwapping Tom, but figures she brought this
   entire conversation on herself

Sun Sep 10 [18:13]
 * cybertalus gets around to labelling a videotape and is once again
   struck with fits of laughter at the order of the genre labels they
   include: adult, home, movie, music, nature, party, sports, tv
<fuzzyoctopus> 'adult home movie'? good grief talus
<cybertalus> fuzzy: exactly.  i bet someone at magnavox got fired over that

Sun Sep 10 [21:42]
<theruleroftheworld> oooh, metallica mp3's on the 1980's newsgroup.
		     think i'll dl them out of spite.

Mon Sep 11 [01:02]
<cybertalus> i always figured i'd like to find someone who shared at
	     least half of my many varied interests.  problem with
	     that is, if such a woman exists, neither of us would ever
	     get out to meet.

Mon Sep 11 [02:36]
<AudioBoy> I will not get drawn into more debates with Jill. For a
	   "devout" Christian, she certainly doesa good job of
	   ignoring whatever partsof the Bible dealing with kindness
	   and civility that she wants.
<TheProf> If two morons argue in the woods and nobody hears them, do
	  they make any sense?
<abates> Prof: Only if a tree falls on them both
<AudioBoy> "I'm right", "No, I'm right and God is on MY side!"
	   "Timber!" *crashsmoosh!*
<TheProf> LOL
<DoctorWho> ROTFLMAO!
 * Lyssie falls over, LAUGHING
<AudioBoy> And we see God standing behind a tree with an axe, snickering...
...
 * AudioBoy looks around pensively, in case any stray lightning bolts
   head his way...

Mon Sep 11 [02:53]
[Playing with Talus's latest toy]
<DoctorWho> !blame!
<cybertalus> let's play the blame game!
<cybertalus> gazing into my crystal ball of blame, i see that the one
	     responsible for this situation is.... John Lennon
<AudioBoy> !blame!
<cybertalus> let's play the blame game!
<cybertalus> gazing into my crystal ball of blame, i see that the one
	     responsible for this situation is.... Krusty the Clown
<Tentaclatron> !blame!
<cybertalus> let's play the blame game!
<cybertalus> gazing into my crystal ball of blame, i see that the one
	     responsible for this situation is.... DoctorWho
<TheProf> I see Talus is voting people off the island

Mon Sep 11
<Alryssa> Jerry Springer bounced a check to a prostitute here
<Alryssa> How corrupt is that? :-)

Tue Sep 12 [12:55]
 * DoctorWho has a conversation with his dad about diet and losing weight
<DoctorWho> His suggestion is, don't keep food in the house that you
	    like.
<CrowTRobt> lol
<DoctorWho> The flaw in that logic is that it's a contradiction in
	    terms.  Food that I don't like, I /really/ don't like.  As
	    in, I don't consider it to be food.
<DoctorWho> Some people consider snails to be food.  I don't.  I don't
	    consider brocolli to be food either
<CrowTRobt> nate it all boils down to learning how to eat
<CrowTRobt> you have to reduce your consumption and increase your
	    amount of exercise for one
<CrowTRobt> the other is to reduse the amount of fat and sugar in your diet
<CrowTRobt> I need to reduse and eat right myself
<CrowTRobt> reduce even...
<cybertalus> or get malaria.  if you survive you can easily lose 20 or
	     30 pounds in a week.
[Fwap!]

Wed Sep 13 [00:59]
<DoctorWho> If I had a grand, I'd spend it on a real computer
<trinalin> If I had a grand, I'd pay extra on my mortgage
<cybertalus> if i had a grand i guess i need to learn to play piano.
	     (ducks, runs, and returns fire)
<AudioBoy> CT: Voo!
<AudioBoy> er, Boo!
<Theta-G> Vhat vas that, neil?
 * fuzzyoctopus laughs, and thinks of transylvanian cows

Thu Sep 14
 * Alryssa goes to beat Prof to a pulp, but then thinks again and just
   calls his wife instead. Instant retribution!

Fri Sep 15 [22:35]
<Fenric1> Microsoft doesn't have a monopoly, but they've got three
	  thousand Risk boards in a warehouse in Washington state...

Sat Sep 16 [23:08]
<Brunnen-G> whenever i download the latest realPlayer (after being
	    NAGGED to by their sw) I register as Rhiel Oddio
	    <player@real.com>

Sun Sep 17 [13:49]
<NathanR> I'm running NT4
<CrowTRobt> really now... where did you aquire that from?
<NathanR> It's an evaluation version... 120-day time bomb
<NathanR> Came with my NT4 textbook
<CrowTRobt> damn
<CrowTRobt> what are you going to do when it self destructs?
<NathanR> Reinstall it
<CrowTRobt> that won't work
<NathanR> Not according to my NT instructor last semester
<CrowTRobt> yeah but that is bulls**t to have to keep reinstalling it
	    every 120 days
<cybertalus> crow: isn't that a a stabilty feature to keep the
	     registry from becoming filled with crap?
[Fwap!]
...
<Theta-G> or as my friend Dominic sez, "the windows registry is a
	  diaper."
...
<CrowTRobt> I think Nt is a lot more robust than windows9x
<Random_C> Crow - until you let my boss use it
<CrowTRobt> one of those huh

Sun Sep 17 [14:06]
 * NathanR works on his Grand Unified Installer CD
<SteveBreon> Nate's redefining all of the computer
	     acronyms... starting with GUI...

Mon Sep 18 [00:37]
<Alden> Prof: Where's the fun in that?
<TheProf> In making something that's already been made? Not much.
<NathanR> Prof: You're not a hacker.  You don't understand
<TheProf> LOL
<TheProf> No, I just make desktop themes
<NathanR> If you were a hacker, you'd appreciate the novelty of
	  reinventing the wheel
<TheProf> I'm not...I have sanity.
<TheProf> I prefer to invent new things. You get money that way, ;o)
<Alden> Nate has sanity too.  it's just redirected to /dev/null/

Mon Sep 18 [16:58]
<Brigadier> "This broadcat is copyrighted by the capitilistic bastards
	    of the Olympic Committee. Any attempt to describe these
	    events to any person in any form willl result in a slow
	    and painful death after we hunt you down like the thief
	    you are for stealing our 'property'

Tue Sep 19 [22:36] 
*** Joins: Nathan_Roberts
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Nathan_Roberts
<Nathan_Roberts> re
<Nathan_Roberts> Keyboard is apart for cleaning
<cybertalus> uhh, how are you typing then?  telekenesis?
<Nathan_Roberts> How many computers am I holding up?
<cybertalus> 6?
<Nathan_Roberts> I'm on the 486 right now
<Nathan_Roberts> There's soda spilt all down the inside of the keyboard
<cybertalus> yikes nate.  is the keyboard even salvageable?
<Nathan_Roberts> Yes
<Nathan_Roberts> The keyboard works fine, I just took it apart to
		 clean the crap out of it
<cybertalus> nate: impressive that it works with a soda spill in place.
<Nathan_Roberts> There's no soda on the actual key mechanism... which
		 isn't a mechanism at all
<Nathan_Roberts> It's all rubber and plastic inside, so I could pour
		 soda into it and it would still be fixable
<Nathan_Roberts> Only thing that would stop it from running with soda
		 inside would be the fact that everything would be
		 stuck together
<cybertalus> there's got to be some something that conducts the
	     electricity.  i figured the soda would interfere with
	     that.
<Nathan_Roberts> that too
<Nathan_Roberts> The inside of this thing is a set of plastic
		 membranes with rubber contacts on thenm
<cybertalus> i need to find a keyboard to dissect sometime.  it's been
	     ages since i've had the pleasure.  and i've never gotten
	     to dissect a hard drive.
<Nathan_Roberts> clean the soda off them and it's as good as new
<Nathan_Roberts> It's not like there's mechanical switches to gum up
 * Nathan_Roberts finishes scraping gobs of sugar out of the keyboard housing
<cybertalus> i don't wanna even think about what i found the last time
	     i took the keycaps off my keyboard and cleaned it.
<Nathan_Roberts> a Crud Puppy larvae?
<cybertalus> no
<cybertalus> it's a wonder tho, given the amount of crumbs
<cybertalus> there was also probably enough beard hair to make a nice goatee
 * Nathan_Roberts comes back from showering the keyboard housing
<DoctorWho> re
<DoctorWho> i have the board disassembled, and am typing on the rubber
	    buttons below
<cybertalus> and still you make fewer typos than i do with a fully
	     assembled keyboard and letters to look at.
<DoctorWho> you didn't see how long it took to type that
<cybertalus> lol
<DoctorWho> if i can keep my fingers on the right buttons, i can just
	    about type on it
<DoctorWho> but it;s hard to find where my fingers belong on this damn thing
<DoctorWho> i keep hitting n instead of space
<DoctorWho> still, i can sorta touch-type on it
<cybertalus> i'm impressed you can do anything resembling english on it.
<DoctorWho> I'm just about at the point where I can type on this thing
	    at a more than reasonable speed
<cybertalus> sometimes i look at you nate and i think "you're a real
	     freak" and then i find myself really envying you for
	     that.

Wed Sep 20 [00:46]
<TheProf> Why is your keyboard in pieces?
<cybertalus> because he put the case back on and we all know nate is
	     subject to the law of conservation of disassembled
	     computer parts

Wed Sep 20 [01:03]
 * TheProf snaps a picture of his cat who seems to be possessed.
<TheProf> Is glowing eyes and her head spinning around a sign of
	  demonic possession?
<Alden> If it is, my sister needs to be exorcised

Thu Sep 21 [23:06]
[Nate is working on his computer again]
<ClawedProf> Nate the mad scientist returns in 3D
 * ClawedProf hands Nathan his blood stained lab coat
<DoctorWho> If that flash g0es bad, this computer will be a boat anchor
 * ClawedProf redoes Nates hair so it stands on end helping him achive
   a more insane look.
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof
<ClawedProf> See! He's mad I tell you! Mad!
<Theta-G> nate should be in one of my fan vids
<Lyssie> Prof: Clumps need to point in different directions, like he's
	 been tugging on it...
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof
<ClawedProf> Nate did you not get your shock theropy today?
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof
 * Lyssie giggles
<Lyssie> I like how Prof is the one who always gets fwapped.... ;]
<ClawedProf> Lyssie loves my pain.
 * DoctorWho finds the website for his BIOS
<ClawedProf> Your BIOS made it's own website? That's a talented Bios.
*** ClawedProf is now known as TheProf
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof
<TheProf> Took you long enough Nate. I was feeling ignored there.
* DoctorWho fwaps Prof
<DoctorWho> Think I have it!  UMC!
<DoctorWho> There's some chips on the board labelled UMC
<TheProf> UMC is University of Minnisota Centrol so you have to go to
	  that college to use that one. SMC is South Missouri
	  College. Look for one matching your college Nate.
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof
<TheProf> Gee and I was trying to help.
 * DoctorWho now has the BIOS update, and the flash utility
<DoctorWho> Do I dare?
 * TheProf starst taking bets on wether Nate will burn down the house.
<TheProf> so far the odds are 5-1 that he will.
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof
 * TheProf alerts the fire department....and the department of defense.
<Lyssie> Prof just can't win....
<TheProf> No I can't. :o)
 * TheProf heads for the tornado shelter. I know I'm 2,000 miles away
   but I'm taking no chances.
<DoctorWho> I swear, in the time I've been working on this thing, i've
	    lost every single thing I've worked with, at least once
<Lyssie> Nate has Brownies and Gremlins!
<Theta-G> nate: they got together and decided they'd all take a turn
 * TheProf closes the shelter door. "Ok Nathan I'm ready"
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof
<TheProf> Can't get me. I'm in my shelter.
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof

Thu Sep 21 [23:33]
 * DoctorWho has been watching blake's 7 all day
<TheProf> I hate baby sitting.
<TheProf> That's a lot of kids to watch too.
 * DoctorWho fwaps Prof

Fri Sep 22 [17:04]
<DoctorWho> I'm screwed
<random_C> Well done, Nate. Nice girl?

Sat Sep 23 [01:04]
<NateBingingOnBlake> You wanna know something really stupid?
<Alden> Barney?
...
<NathanR> Talus and Bill are right.  Television is addictive
<NathanR> At least I'm addicted to quality TV though.
<MegL> lol
<MegL> your addicted to 20 year old reruns taped off PBS 10 years ago,
       is more like it >;-)
...
 * MegL barely talks about what she's watching
<MegL> we are too busy being put into a coma by the computer talk
       around here :-/
<NathanR> Modern day American sitcoms are the worst offenders
 * MegL doesn't watch sitcomes
<MegL> or coms
<MegL> whatever
<Alden> sitcomas? ;)
...
 * MegL seen more of Everybody Love Raymond that I want too, via my dad
<MegL> and the fact I got stuck on the plane home from gallfrey, where
       they where airing it
<NathanR> Oh god, they play that crap on planes?
<NathanR> I never had a fear of flying before.  I think I do now.

Sat Sep 23 [03:59]
 * MegL reminds the usual suspects that Babylon 5 starts Monday on
   SciFi, in LBX
<Theta-G> rokkin
<Alden> little did SciFi realise that the reason the sides were
	chopped off on broadcast is because the crew were clearly
	visible standing around watching otherwise....

Sat Sep 23 [22:13]
 * Alden finds some screws on his desk. Anyone need a... neer mind
[Fwap!]

Sun Sep 24 [00:33]
<Alden> Tell them there's kitty porn on the site
<Fenric1> "Dear Sirs, Your site contains too much pussy.  Please make
	  it stop.  Love, #drwhochat."

Sun Sep 24 [22:14]
<NathanR> Dammit, I wish that Pentium mainboard I got worked... I
	  could have set up a decent Linux box, instead of this old
	  486
<TheProf> Nate I thought you could make anything work. You could turn
	  a Wheaties box into a Pent II.
[Fwap!]
...
<NathanR> I'm still not sure whether the board is dead or if I've just
	  got it misconfigured
<TheProf> It's not dead but it's coughing up blood.
[Fwap!]

Mon Sep 25 [23:40]
<starfury> I need a man! my brother won't give me a backrub anymore :P
<TheProf> Star I'm married. How come women never made offers like that
	  when I was single?
 * TheProf expected a fwap for that one
<Alden> she's gone to get the fwapper
<Theta-G> fwap on
<Theta-G> fwap off

Fri Sep 29 [00:08]
<OddioBoi> Napster has been searching for my query for 5 solid minutes now...
<TheProf> Hard to find the Brady Bunch greatest hits on MP3.
[Fwap!]

Fri Sep 29 [01:12]
<OddioBoi> Meg did a video? Wooo! ;)
<MegL> you guys are going to be unhappy if you think this video is of
       me in a teddy
<MegL> you'd be unhappy if it WAS me in a teddy (aka Shamu) >;-)
<Theta-G> we don't think it's of you in a teddy
<Theta-G> we know it's of you in a teddy
<James_Thorpe> We KNOW etc etc
 * Theta-G reads "Sending Naughty Videos of Myself to Sexy Kiwis is My
   Bag, Baby" by Margaret Lahey
...
 * Theta-G reads "Worrying while Getting Physically Fit, This Is My
   Bag, Baby" by Neil Patrick Marsh

Fri Sep 29 [23:48]
*** Quits: Heptite
    (~infynity@1Cust209.tnt1.idaho-falls.id.da.uu.net) (Killed
    (vader.ny.us.dal.net (journey.ca.us.dal.net <-
    services.dal.net[ryan@localhost])))
<MegL> oh I love the name of that one server
<MegL> he was killed by vader ;)

Fri Sep 29
<dha_elf> actually, at the moment I'm sort of of the mind that RedHat
	  sucks too... although not as bad...
<NathanR> Dha: I think RedHat sucks.
<NathanR> For the same reason Microsoft does
<dha_elf> oh?
<Fenric1> Nathan: It's cutting into your profits? ;>
<NathanR> They're becoming the Microsoft of Linux, whether they're
	  trying to or not
<talus> well if redhate is the new microsoft, that means durham is the
	new redmon, which makes raleigh the new seattle.... cool!
	when does it start raining?
<talus> whoops, that was an unfortunate typo
<NathanR> Talus: I think RedHate is very apt...
<talus> nate: might be, i don't have an opinion on them really.  it's
	just that i type "hate" more than "hat", so my fingers are in
	the habit
<NathanR> Talus: Well I do... and RedHate just about sums it up
<talus> nate: fair enough.  i just don't want the blame for coining the term.
<NathanR> Too late, Talus
<talus> damn
<NathanR> You created it and I've already adopted it.
<talus> double damn
...
<talus> nate: the worst is, i've caught myself nearly making that type
	about a dozen times before, and the one time i do make it,
	someone who will use it is around.
<NathanR> Just be careful when typing "microsoft" from now on.
<NathanR> Lest you create one for them.
...
<talus> breon, was it you and i who were joking about having the guy
	who wrote mirc write an os?  because if he did, it just
	occurred to me, he could call the company "mircrosoft"

Sat Sep 30 [23:40]
<CrowTRobt> Bum has three meanings where I live at
<CrowTRobt> Bum= ass
<CrowTRobt> bum= nasty disgusting worthless good for nothing no job
	    having individual that panhandles for a living
<chibi-light> and the third?
<CrowTRobt> bum= those things that one country drops on another in a
	    war... ex. "If Saddam gets out of line again this time we
	    will just go drop the *bum* on his ass"


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