The #drwhochat Quotefile

Volume IV, Issue VII: July 2000

Compiled by Nathan Roberts

Tue Jul  4 [18:19]
<Talus_Returns> Nate: compass alignment on streets is always very
		rough.  I have a photo on my webpage of a sign where I
		was on 441 north and 321 south at the same time.

Thu Jul  6 [23:21]
 * Talus_Returns runs away from the dangerous tickler.
 * Alryssa  chases with the Tickler of Rassilon (tm)
 * Talus_Returns just stands still and takes his tickling like a
   soldier in front of a firing squad.
<NathanR2> With a blindfold and a cigeratte?
<Talus_Returns> Nate: yeah, that way I can die from the smoke instead
		of the tickling (err, bullets)

Fri Jul  7 [00:23]
 * NathanQuotefiling discovers that Bill Gates has his own website at
   microsoft.com
<Cryptkeeper> # hits:  142    # of pies in the face:  2
<NathanQuotefiling> ROTFLMAO!!!
...
<Alden> CK: you got the numbers around the wrong way

Sat Jul  8 [01:46]
<TheProf> Yeah, they could have had a five year old take 10 minutes
	  and it would be better.
 * NathanR gives Prof 10 minutes to prove himself >;)

Tue Jul 11 [16:51]
<Fenric1> The Jacobus and the Palmerton were walking close at hand,
	  they wept like anything to see such scripts by Robin Bland.
	  "If Andrew Cartmel and Paul Cornell editted for half a year,
	  do you suppose," the Palmerton asked, "That they could make
	  it clear?"  "I doubt it," said the Jacobus and rode off on
	  her deer.
...
<FelicityK> The Jacobus and the Palmerton were fighting for
	    McCaffrey. The Jacobus and the Palmerton decided to split
	    him halfway. Some folks gave them peaches, some folks gave
	    them plums. Some folks said, "Felicity, your poetry is
	    dumb".
...
<FelicityK> Beware the Jacobus, my son...ah, fuck it.

Tue Jul 11 [01:12]
<TheProf> Jason: I'm actually buying DVDs more than I bought tapes
<Jondar> Prof: at the moment, it's about the same level for me, only
	 trying to buy on tape if it's not on DVD
<Jondar> which at the moment, is quite a lot of stuff here not on DVD
<Jondar> the studios here will never catch up to the US...
 * Jondar starts a plot to get Australia and NZ into region 1.... >:-)
 * TheProf  throws Jason a rope and starts pulling Australia North
...
<CyberTalus> "I have a dream that one day a DVD will be judged not by
	     it's region of origin, but by the quality of its
	     contents."

Wed Jul 12 [02:42]
 * NathanR just discovered something
<CyberTalus> America?
<Alryssa> No, that was India you just found, take a left at Alberquerque

Wed Jul 12 [02:44]
<CyberTalus> I discovered recently that CD-R material is very brittle
	     and prone to cracking into thousands of tiny pieces if
	     you try to break it in half.  I think I'm still cleaning
	     bits of it out of my carpet.

Fri Jul 14 [00:58]
<dse> you know how in Scooby-Doo they'd play a cheesy 70s song while
      being persued by the ghost/monster of the week
<CyberTalus> that's because Casey Kasem was the voice of Shaggy.  He
	     brought along tunes from the Countdown.
<CyberTalus> just imagine the kind of music he'd bring if they ever
	     did a reunion movie.  I can see the headlines "Scooby Doo
	     Movie Banned from Cartoon Channel for Explicity Lyrics"

Fri Jul 14 [02:43]
<Jondar> Prof can't spell and Talus can't count :)
<GullibleTalus> Jondar: yeah, and next week we're opening a school together
<Tetrap> And I can't do either. ;)
* GullibleTalus invites Alden to help run the school then.
<GullibleTalus> the way I figure it schools are at least in theory
		trying to teach studentsd stuff and failing miserably,
		so if we start a school that doesn't try to teach
		anyone anything and we fail at it, we'll have taught
		our students a lot

Fri Jul 14 [03:31]
<NathanR> How's this for my latest Anthology CD: Don McLean.  Britney
	  Spears.  Christina Aguilera.  Selena.  Creed.  Enrique
	  Iglesias.  Crowded House.  Eminem.  Limp Bizkit.  Backstreet
	  Boys.  TLC.  Kid Rock.  Celine Dion.
<Alryssa> Nathan: Good grief. Get into the clinic with you!
<James_Thorpe> Don McLean?  Celine Dion?  I slap you!  Which Eminem
	       track is it?
<Jondar> the annoying one... hangon... all of that guys songs are annoying

Sun Jul 16 [01:55]
 * Tetrap clicks on a spam titled "Rebate!" and discovers it's a sex
   spam. I didn't know the IRS was into that sort of thing...

Sun Jul 16 [01:55]
 * CyberTalus grabs a handful of jawbreakers and wonders if he gets a
   refund if they don't break his jaw.

Mon Jul 17 [00:04]
 * TheProf watches Lis Sladen's husband get kidnapped on tv.
<James_Thorpe> Now's your chance, Prof,.

Tue Jul 18 [04:18]
<James_Thorpe> "Silence!  You cannot reverse the cathartic neutrons of
	       spurious polarity!"

Tue Jul 18 [01:48]
 * Jondar would be bored without a web page >:-)

Tue Jul 18 [05:29]
<CyberTalus> maybe we should get OJ to marry the head of ENOW
<CyberTalus> then we'll lure her into cheating on him, and WHAM! problem solved

Wed Jul 19 [01:12]
<TalusGaribaldi> ooh #cannibalism.  does that violate a #vegetarian diet?

Wed Jul 19 [01:46]
<Tetrap> it automatically connected me to #100%surf on brasirc
<TheProf> Alden proves enow has no taste at least
<Alryssa> Prof: Wrong! It tastes like six week old cheese! 

Wed Jul 19 [03:53]
<CyberTalus> finally.  I swear I could've dug up a webpage for making
	     a nuclear bomb in less time than it took me to find the
	     setting to strip color codes in mIRC
...
<CyberTalus> on the upside, tho, stripping color codes out of mIRC
	     isn't likely to bring the FBI to my door

Wed Jul 19 [04:11]
<MegL> what are we chatting about tonight?
<TheDogfather> The same thing we chat about every night.  Taking over
	       the WORLD!

Wed Jul 19 [04:15]
<TheDogfather> Hm.  If there was a North Poland and a South Poland,
	       then the residents could call themselves North Poles
	       and South Poles
[Fwap!]
...
* Tetrap  finds Poland on the map
<Lyssie> Alden: was it lost?
<Tetrap> I hope not.  It's got Warsaw in it
<Lyssie> war saw... is that like a war hammer?

Fri Jul 21 [00:43]
 * Jondar learnt to read an analog clock before starting school... I
    blame kids TV like Sesame Street and Play School for that :)
<Tetrap> Jason: Yeah, I learned to read a clock from Play School too...
<Tetrap> After the tenth iteration of "and the big hands pointing to
	 the three", I wanted to insert the big hand somewhere
	 personal.

Fri Jul 21 [04:35]
<CyberTalus> in any case, I'm of the opinion that this problem is
	     going to be with us for a while
<NathanR> Agreed.
 * Tetrap lights the fuse which trails away under enow HQ. Oh, I
   wouldn't say that...

Fri Jul 21 [00:50]
<CyberTalus> quick question on Alexander Hamilton.  I don't recall him
	     on the list of Presidents, so what did he do to earn a
	     place on the $10 bill?  (I know what Franklin did to earn
	     his place on the $50)
<MegL> He was the first Secretary of the Tresurey
<MegL> he set up the U.S. banking system
<CyberTalus> ahh, so he designed the money and designed himself a spot
	     on it?  clever I say.

Fri Jul 21 [03:39]
<CyberTalus> speaking of six.  has anyone else seen ads for this show
	     on Fox Kids called "Cyber Six"?  Every time I hear that
	     ad I think they're talking about something else.

Sun Jul 23 [16:28]
<CrowTRobt> I am hunting an Infinity DVD player
<CrowTRobt> Infinity  LD2020U
<CyberTalus> checked Amazon?  they sell everything but the kitchen
	     sink there, and that's coming next week.

Sun Jul 23 [23:41]
<Mosquito> hmm...  gotta wonder about Amish porn tendencies.
<IsraelBeta> Mosquito: Amish porn is women wearing dresses that don't
	     cover their ankles.

Sun Jul 23 [02:09]
<MegL> ?
<NathanR> what Meg said

Sun Jul 23 [04:25]
 * NathanR looks through his Full-Deckism list and has a revelation
<NathanR> Chezwho isn't an experiment in artificial intelligence.
<NathanR> Chezwho is an experiment in artificial STUPIDITY

Mon Jul 24 [07:29]
<Blor> Napster is really cool if you're on a T3
<Blor> Like me.
<Blor> Muahahahahahahahahahahahahah
<Blor> *evil grin*
<NathanR2> You remember what I used to do to Grek when he bragged
	   about bandwidth.
<Blor> Yes Nate. Gimme you best shot, monkey boy.
*** NathanR2 kicked Blor from #drwhochat (Bang!)

Mon Jul 24 [23:50]
<CyberTalus> I've just come to the conclusion that there are more
	     bands that I've not heard of than ones I have, and that
	     this is probably a Very Good Thing.
<dse> it took you that long to figure out?
<CyberTalus> dse: there are two ways to think, fast or deep.  That was
	     a deep thought, so it took a while.  If you're in a
	     hurry, I can give you something more shallow.

Tue Jul 25 [00:18]
<NathanR> Does anyone know what that scope on the Winamp playlist window is?
<CyberTalus> not a clue, but Winamp is the least documented program
	     this side of Microsoft

Tue Jul 25 [01:39]
 * CrowTMP3 note he lives by the saing when in rome do as the Romans...
 * CyberTalus wonders if when in Lem one should do like the Lemmings

Tue Jul 25 [04:22]
<CyberTalus> cool, there's actually a top level domain for Antarctica
<Catatonic19> why?
<CyberTalus> dunno, but it .aq
<CyberTalus> it's nice to know that if I was ever stuck on Antarctica
	     that it'd be possible to get online
...
<Alden> Does the Vatican have a top level domain?
<Catatonic19> according to some people, the vatican IS the top level domain ;)
<Alden> LOL!
<Alden> I'd have thought it was a subdomain of .hv ;)
<NathanR> LOL
 * CyberTalus is wasting bandwidth at
   http://www.varos.com/stuff/data/suffix.txt
<CyberTalus> well, perhaps not wasting bandwidth in this case.....
<CyberTalus> (sorry Jondar)
<Alden> god@cloud9.hv
<Catatonic19> oh there we are va is vatican
 * NathanR looks at the TLD list and wants to register fuck.yu >:)
<Alden> Nate: LOL!!!!!!
...
<CyberTalus> what's the chemical symbol for lead?
<NathanR> pb
<Jondar> pb
<CyberTalus> oh well, no .pb  there goes my planned joke :-)
<CyberTalus> was gonna do alchemy.pb has moved to alchemy.au

Tue Jul 25 [05:03]
<James_Thorpe> Paul McGann IS the Doctor!  Regis Philbin IS the
	       Master!  Doctor Who.  In cinemas 2001.
<Jondar> Regis Master: "I am the Master, and you will obey me..."
	 PaulDoc: "Oh really? is that your final answer?" >:-)

Tue Jul 25 [05:10]
<CyberTalus> all right I know we've moved on, but I juast had one more
	     joke url come to mind, and I can't resist.....
<CyberTalus> http://www.whatthe.fk

Tue Jul 25 [06:41]
<NathanR> I used to go to the barber religiously every few months
<NathanR> Apparently I had a crisis of faith about a year ago

Tue Jul 25 [07:16]
<NathanR> Red alert!
<CyberTalus> Red alert?
<NathanR> Leaf blower at 10 oclock!
<CyberTalus> oh
<BayouBecky> LOL!
<CyberTalus> Nate: what're you worried about then, it won't be there
	     for three more hours.  That's plenty of time to set up an
	     ambush.
<NathanR> LOL
<CyberTalus> heck if there was Concorde service within the US that
	     might be enough time for me to get there and help you
	     ambush it
<NathanR> Actually 10 oclock was meant to be a bearing, not a time
<CyberTalus> I know, but playing dumb is so much more funny
...
<CyberTalus> though how in the hell does Mr Can't Read Analog Clocks
	     manage to use analog clock pointers for bearings?
<NathanR> Because it makes sense
<CyberTalus> yes, but are you any faster figuring out bearings that
	     way than you are with time?  I'm not.
<CyberTalus> which with a moving object means if someone gives me a
	     bearing, by the time I figure it out whatever they wanted
	     me to see is gone
<NathanR> I have to assign a number to the angle, and oclocks are as
	  valid a unit as degrees
<NathanR> Would "300 degrees" be more meaningful?
<CyberTalus> no
<NathanR> Well, on IRC I can't point and go "That way"...
<CyberTalus> basically with bearings if you get more specific than
	     which quadrant, you've lost me
<CyberTalus> at least for 15 seconds until I stop to think about it
 * NathanR partners with Talus to start "Arithmetically Challenged Anonymous"
<CyberTalus> "My Name is Talus, and what the hell is 1 plus 1?"
<NathanR> 3.385149!

Tue Jul 25 [02:45]
[Alden is having ISP problems]
<Alden> "Just because IHUG is run by a bunch of clowns. There's no
	need to be nasty and call it a circus."

Thu Jul 27 [00:30]
<NathanR> Prof: You're a mutant.
<TheProf> Nathan that's not a very original observation. :o)

Fri Jul 28 [03:31]
* Jefferys  pokes the channel.
<Jefferys> *poke*
<Jefferys> *poke* *poke*
<Jefferys> *poke* *poke* *poke*
<Jefferys> *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*
<Jefferys> *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*
<Jefferys> *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*
*** Alden kicked Jefferys from #DrWhoChat (Excessive poking)
...
<Whomiga> *peek*
<Whomiga> *peek* *peek*

Fri Jul 28 [06:04]
 * Pete_Wisdom looks at the Proponent Questionnaire for newsgroups and
   groans that it reads like stereo instructions.
<TalusNoElectricity> Jeff: what scares me about that statement is that
		     to know that you have to have read stereo
		     instructions at some point.

Sat Jul 29 [23:54]
<CyberTalus> sadly, all I have anymore is the Ottoman of Crap.
<CyberTalus> it's where the remotes live, along with CDs I've listened
	     to recently, books I started reading, and the laptop when
	     I'm not using it, which is usually the 5 or 6 hours a day
	     that I'm sleeping
<NathanR> I've got the Computer Desk of Crap, the Sewing Table of
	  Crap, the Box-Under-The-Bed of Crap, the Drawers-In-My-Desk
	  of Crap, the Filing-Cabinet of Crap, the Closet of Crap, and
	  the Floor of Crap
<CyberTalus> hmm, doesn't take a map of the human genome to tell your
	     cleanliness gene is recessive

Sat Jul 29 [01:08]
* CrowTRobt  heads to the kitchen on a raid
<CyberTalus> "This is the Health Department, put down the stale donuts
	     and come out with your hands up!"

Sun Jul 30 [23:54]
<CyberTalus> I wish I could record my half-conscious thoughts.  I'd
	     either be certified insane, or praised as a super-genius.


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