The #drwhochat Quotefile

Volume III, Issue XI: December 1999

Compiled by Nathan Roberts

Wed Dec 01 [10:41]
<random_C> helldesk generally don't know their arse from their elbow
<chronotis> without a diagram and a cue card
<AudioBoy> Random: That could really be a problem, especially when
	   going to the bathroom. :}

Thu Dec 02 [16:03]
 * Blor was at a festival a bunch of years ago and I met
   this newzeelander who I taught a lot of really important swedish
   sentences.... :)
<Nathan_Roberts> "Where's the loo?"
<Blor> Nate: Nah... more like "I want you woman". And stuff like that... :)

Thu Dec 02 [16:08]
*** Shell is now known as Setok
<Setok> (blast nickserv :)
*** Spell is now known as Setock
*** Shellll is now known as Setokk
<NathanR> ... /nick Buttock... nah, better not
 * Setok admires his multiple selves
*** Setokk is now known as Buttock
<Setock> lol
*** Buttock is now known as Blor
<NathanR> Might have known Blor would actually do it >:)
<Setock> there's no level to which he will not stoop. ;-P
<Setok> Blor, how low can you go
<Blor> Loooooow. I'm swedish remember.
<NathanR> His mind isn't just in the gutter... it's down in the sewers
*** Setock is now known as Alryssa
<Blor> I'm not _in_ the sewers. 
<Blor> I _Am_ the sewer.
<NathanR> LOL!
*** Alryssa is now known as Blored
<Blor> Toxix waste is my middle name
 * Setok shits into Blor
<Blored> ewww!
<Blored> TMI!
<Blor> Well, the finn beat me.
<NathanR> ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!
*** Blored is now known as Blored_To_Death
<NathanR> Setok Out-Blorred Blor
<Blor> Yep.
 * Setok grins proudly
<Blor> He's scandinavian. Not much competition there.
<Blor> If we really wanted to, we could probably make you all move to efnet.
<NathanR> That would be /evil/
<Blor> Try me, dewboy. :)

Thu Dec 02 [16:26]
<Setok> blor: and I'm not that good at the language either.. I'm sorry
	to say :)
<Blor> Setok: You should drink more. Alcohol. The universal language.

Fri Dec 03 [09:44]
 * Alryssa thinks Phil has a keyboard problem
<Alryssa> are you using a Dvorak system ;=)
<Phil_The_> No I'm using a broken system. j/k
<Alryssa> same thing surely?

Fri Dec 03 [09:48]
<Alryssa> you? give up the QF?
<Alryssa> never!
<Alryssa> :-)
<NathanR> That's what people used to say about Linux.
<Alryssa> But I'd do it if Ihad to =)
<NathanR> Don't tempt me. >:)

Fri Dec 03 [09:58]
 * Alden is having a photo shoot. ;-)
<Alryssa> don;t shoot the animals though, ok? :-)
<Alden> I'll try to resist the urge. :-)
<Alryssa> brother included.
...
<Alryssa> well, who'd do the paperwork? 
<Alden> I'm taking screen shots for my Yikes homepage.  Ready for the
	big unvealing. :-)
<Alryssa> ooooo
<Alden> veiling, even
<Alryssa> yikes? uh-oh. sounds dangerous.
<Alryssa> veal? Alden! You.... you did, didn;t you!
<Alryssa> You shot Bambi!
<Alden> Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
 * Alryssa looks at the tasty dish and wails
 * Alden falls to his knees. I'm sooooooooooooorry!
 * Alryssa gets distressed for a whole ten seconds.
 * Alryssa eats it anyway

Fri Dec 03 [10:17]
<TheProf> Great scene cut out of Empire. Yoda asks Luke to bend down
	  for a moment and when he does Yoda reaches up and slaps him
	  alongside his head. "That's for being stupid"

Fri Dec 03 [11:07]
<TheProf> One of my favorite days. 
<NathanR> ?
<TheProf> I always get good sex on the 20th. 
<TheProf> :o)
<TheProf> Did I say that!?
<NathanR> No, you screamed it at the top of your lungs
 * TheProf is now surrounded. I have three cats with me
<TheProf> Two demanding attention and the third demanding cat naps
<TheProf> Now one demanding attention is beating up the one who was
	  trying to sleep


Fri Dec 03 [11:50]
<TheProf> 30 minutes until touchdown of the lander.
<TheProf> I hope nasa remembered the parachutes.
<TheProf> If not.....
<TheProf> A nice 100 million dollar hole in the ground.
<TheProf> It would be cheaper at that point to send a back hoe to Mars
	  to make a hole.
<NathanR> LOL
<TheProf> Headline: Nasa to send Catapiller trackter to Mars
<TheProf> The probe would be cheap at least.
<TheProf> I do find it funny. They spend millions making and keeping
	  these probes in clean rooms trying to keep out even the
	  smallest partical of dust and what do they do with them?
	  They semd them to mars and talk about how they hope to find
	  a spot with lots of loose dirt for the lander to roll around
	  in.
<TheProf> Now what would be really funny is if the they take their
	  pictures of Mars and start taking pictures of the lander
	  itself and on the side some tech guy put a Hooters bumper
	  sticker on it.
<TheProf> Yeah he gets fired but it takes a year for them to find out
	  and Hooters in the mean time pays him big bucks for the
	  advertising.
 * NathanR can just see the Martian tourists coming in hordes going
   "Can you tell me where the nearest Hooters is?"
<TheProf> LOL
<TheProf> I have one right down the street. :o)
<NathanR> So KC /does/ have culture.
<NathanR> Does your wife know? >:)
<TheProf> So far I haven't convinced the wife that the food is really
	  good there and we should go have dinner there.
<NathanR> ROTFLMAO
<NathanR> "Uh huh.  Right.  Sure." - The Profess
<TheProf> I think KC has three Hooters actually. I think it is not by
	  chance that they are next to the convention centers.
<TheProf> All these buisness guys get to eat there and the wives never
	  find out.

Fri Dec 03 [12:07]
<Alryssa> oooh, this is cool..
<Alryssa> http://www.kfu.com/~nsayer/biorhythm.html
<Alryssa> calculates your biorythms!
<TheProf> Ah man!
<TheProf> Tuesday was a triple high for me and I spent it playing
	  computer games.

Fri Dec 03 [12:18]
 * TheProf is reading the NBA power rankings and giggling at the snde
   remarks about the bad teams.
<TheProf> "To be fair, five of top seven are hurt; To be mean, it
	  wouldn't matter much"

Fri Dec 03 [15:06]
 * random_C was surprised at the PC. Everything I did worked.
<random_C> I rewarded it with an "idiot outside" sticker.

Fri Dec 03 [16:42]
<CrowTRobt> boy this p200 really goes
<CrowTRobt> I won't go so far as to say this is like zooming in a car
	    but it is like moving from a tricycle to a nice 20' with
	    training wheels

Sun Dec 05 [21:15]
<The_Anti> "WS_FTP has performed an illegal operation, it will now be
	   shut down." Funny, I was shutting down when it erred..
<TheProf> LOL. ICQ does that to me sometimes when I am closing down
	  the internet.
<TheProf> There is something odd when a program you are shutting down
	  says it can't do that operation so it shuts down. Like the
	  program thinks it has achieved some victory by not doing
	  what you wanted when it really is doing it.

Mon Dec 06 [13:29]
<Drake> phooey we never get snow here
<TheProf> Move to Kansas City Drake
<Drake> Kansas City Drake.......makes me sound like a Pimp ;)

Mon Dec 06 [16:17]
<Jefferys> My friend here got his head stuck in a rice picker.
 * The_Anti does his "Jeff's ready to be locked up again" dance
 * Jefferys finds that reference got lost overhead.
<The_Anti> Now Jeff, these nice, young men are here to take you back
	   to the happy place... you like the happy place, don't you?
<Jefferys> No....I don't
<The_Anti> You like the happy place, don't you?
*** Blor has joined #drwhochat
<The_Anti> See? Here's the Happy Man who runs the Happy Place, come to
	   take you home...
 * The_Anti points to Blor
<Blor> Who am I supposed to subject to eternal damn... I mean take home?
<Shel> me! :)
<Blor> Shel: Hehe. Dont make me... :)

Tue Dec 07 [16:58]
<Nathan_Roberts> Tremas is an anagram of Master
<Shel> never noticed that
 * Nathan_Roberts wonders if Melkur is an anagram of anything
<Shel> murkel
<Nathan_Roberts> I meant, of anything /meaningful/ :P
<Shel> lol
<Shel> klemur (silent k)
<Shel> hehehe
<Nathan_Roberts> Me Lurk?
<Shel> lurk me baby!
<Nathan_Roberts> lol
<Nathan_Roberts> Though I doubt "me lurk" was what the person that
		 came up with that name had in mind
 * Nathan_Roberts tries the I, Rearrangement Servant
<Nathan_Roberts> Only other one it found was ELK RUM
<Shel> nimlas
<Nathan_Roberts> nimlas?
<Shel> next consanant, next vowel
<Nathan_Roberts> hm
<Shel> or namlos next con..., vowel ahead
<Shel> that's it salmon!
<Shel> hehehe
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL
<Shel> okay MelkuR - MasteR  now to get from elku to aste
<Shel> i got it! Luke, I am your Master! hehehe
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL!
<Nathan_Roberts> I could believe that actually

Wed Dec 08 [00:34]
*** TheProf_Away is now known as TheProf
 * TheProf is back. Alert the media.
 * DrNathenstein alerts the asylum as well

Wed Dec 08 [01:22]
 * Jondar checks his Fax logs... good grief... some person has tried
    to send repeated faxes to my computer while I was at work today...
<TheProf> Spam?
<DrNathenstein> That would be very illegal.
<DrNathenstein> Er.
<DrNathenstein> Well if it happened here it would be.  Dunno about Oz
<TheProf> In Ca but not in Australia perhaps.
<DrNathenstein> Prof: In the entire US I think
<TheProf> In ca when the law was being concidered the spammers flooded
	  the Govenors fax machines with spam faxes begging him not to
	  sign the bill. It totally clogged up all three fax machines
	  in the govenors office and he signed the law the same day.

Fri Dec 10 [02:13]
<Nathan_Roberts> What are the five iMac colors?  And has anyone got
		 any idea what the RGB values are?
<Jondar> blueberry, lime, tangerine, grape, red...
<Jondar> I think...
<Jondar> I wouldn't have a clue on the RGB values
<Jondar> http://www.apple.com/imac/
<Jondar> Nathan: that URL has a pic of the five iMacs, with colors
* Nathan_Roberts goes to the page and sees the iMacs with their
    backends turned towards the screen
<Nathan_Roberts> I'm being mooned by a bunch of iMacs!

Fri Dec 10
<TheProfcicle> My wife is reading a book and in it there is a rouge
	       computer software company call macrohard and they made
	       this wonderful software called doors.
<Jondar> LOL Prof
<Jondar> now, I wonder which company they're *really* referring to... :)
<TheProfcicle> The guy is talking about how Doors is this second rate
	       OS and yet that was the only one you can get.
<Jondar> Hmmm... are you sure this book isn't written by Nathan? :)
...
<TheProfcicle> I have a feeling the author wrote this after having
	       some problems with his computer. :o)

Sat Dec 11
<TheProf> My dream mischannel is Nathan typing "Oh baby! Yes! Yes!" by
	  accident in the room here.
[Slap!]
[Slap!]
[Slap!]
[Slap!]
[Slap!]

Sat Dec 11 [00:10]
<Jondar> er Nathan... why are you coming and going on the notify?
<Nathan_Roberts> Because I don't know how to operate my computer.
<Jondar> and you only just worked that out Nathan?

Sat Dec 11 [01:21]
[Reading a bizzare exchange of EMail on a web site]
<TheProf> This is like seeing what a company would be like that was
	  run by Yads.
<Shel> i thought that was blor?
<Alden> LOL!
<Winatdows> Blor's just evil.  Not stupid.
<Jondar> :)
<Alden> I think one of his brain-dead minions must have escaped and
	set up a web hosting company
<Linatrux> Grek? >:)
<Alden> LOL!

Sat Dec 11 [01:31]
 * Jondar gets a reply from SimpleNet... "you couldn't access your
   email account since we had some unscheduled maintenance on the
   mail servers" which is support-speak for "the mail servers
   crashed"

Sat Dec 11 [23:53]
 * Alden sits in the corner and sticks pins in a voodoo doll of his ISP
<Shel> ouch, wrong voodoo doll!

Sun Dec 12 [00:28]
<Alden> Mmm, never, ever try to say "schitzophrenic" with a mouthful
	of crackers
 * MegL laughs for reasons unknown
<nathanr> now it's a screenful of crackers?
<Alden> yef

Sun Dec 12 [23:59]
<Brigadier> NR : is your machine still all over the floor or did you
	    get a proper case yet?
<random_C> Brig - you are the anti-geek

Mon Dec 13 [00:11]
*** random_C has quit IRC (Quit: my name's random and I'm a mac
    addict. help? what would I want help for?)

Mon Dec 13 [01:35]
*** TheProf changes topic to 'CONFIRMED: Wierd Al signed as new
    companion in new $50-million Who movie! Sarah Michelle Geller and
    Christina Applegate still in the running for the Doctor!'
<TheProf> Buffy the Dalek Slayer!
<TheProf> It could work!
<TheProf> Wierd Al: Doctor Look! Daleks! Doctor Buffy: Stay behind me!
	  Weird Al: No problem. I like the view.


Mon Dec 13 [01:06]
<Nathan_Roberts> "It's good to be king ... The best thing is that
		 there's no one in this state who can tell me what to
		 do." - Jesse the Body, on the best part of his job as
		 Governor.
<Nathan_Roberts> He's not married, I take it.

Tue Dec 21 [01:00]
<Blor> Nate: Did I ever send you any of my mods?
<Nathan_Roberts> No
<Nathan_Roberts> The ones you wrote?
<Nathan_Roberts> Did I ever send you mine?
<Blor> yeah
<Blor> no, you didnt
<Nathan_Roberts> The one (so far) that I wrote?
<Blor> mod plug tracker?
<Nathan_Roberts> Yup
<Alden> uh oh, this is turning into a "you show me yours" thing. ;-)
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFL
<Blor> haha
* Lyssie snickers
<Blor> Well, you're welcome to mail me some. :)
<Nathan_Roberts> Alden, you still have that copy of mine don't you?
<Nathan_Roberts> If so, can you mail it to Blor? 
<Alden> hang on.
<Blor> I sure hope I'm not getting a jpg
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Nathan_Roberts> NathansThing.jpg
<Nathan_Roberts> Something too shocking for even Blor >:)
 * Alden shrieks
<Blor> I... I... cant... keep... the images... 
  out of... my... head...... aaaaaargh....

Thu Dec 23 [22:22]
 * PaulDoc sings:
<Alden> badly
<Alden> ;-)

Thu Dec 23 [22:49]
<Alden> There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can
	count and those who can't.
<Shel> how does "those who count, and those who don't"

Thu Dec 23 [23:45]
<TheProf> You know the big deal about Beanie babies were ending?
<MegL> are they all going to self destruct at midnight on the 31st?
<Nathan_Roberts> They're not Y2K compliant? >:)

Thu Dec 23 [23:57]
 * Nathan_Roberts watches the lights on the hub blink
<TheProf> Your so easy to entertain Nathan.
 * TheProf hands Nathan a ball point pen and watches as it amuses Nate
    for 2 hours. ;o)

Thu Dec 23
 * TomFODW thinks people who use hyperbole should be THROWN INTO THE
   CORE OF A NUCLEAR REACTOR AND HAVE THEIR HOMETOWNS OBLITERATED BY
   A PARTICLE BEAM WEAPON FROM SPACE

Thu Dec 23
<TheProf> I had bad problems with the Cyrix so I only get Intel chips
	  now. Industry standard.
<CrowTRobt> Prof Cyrix went out of business too
<TheProf> Did they?
<TheProf> When did they go belly up?
<CrowTRobt> few months ago
<TheProf> I never heard about it. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things!
<CrowTRobt> lol
<TheProf> Has anyone told President Nixon?
<CrowTRobt> gotta keep up with the tech news prof
<CrowTRobt> hmmm
<CrowTRobt> Prof is hopelessly out of date... talk about being lagged
	    in real life
<CrowTRobt> hey Prof the cold War is over
<TheProf> Cold war? I thought Russia and us were allies. 
<CrowTRobt> uh oh he is lagged back farther than I thought
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof's worse off than we thought
<CrowTRobt> he is slipping away

Thu Dec 23 [01:56]
<TheProf> Ah it's snowing again. I would moon the snow but I don't
	  want to have to explain how i got frostbite there.
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFL
<TheProf> One of those things where you explain to the Doctor and he
	  tells you they never make fun of the patients. Then as you
	  leave you hear in the other room "You guys won't believe
	  what happened to this stupid patient I just had."
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFLMAO
<Nathan_Roberts> Actually ROTFFMAO would be more appropriate

Fri Dec 24
*** SantaProf has joined channel #drwhochat
 * SantaProf is coming to town.
<Alden> Merry Christmas Prof!
<Nathan_Roberts> hi Prof
 * SantaProf checks his list......hmmmmm. Alden.
 * SantaProf opens up his bag and pulls a piece of coal out for Alden.
 * Alden dashes through the snow. Oh wait... no snow...
 * Alden dashes through the mud.
<Alden> A piece of coal!  Now I can start that fire I've always wanted!
 * SantaProf checks his list under Nathan......hmmmmmm.
 * SantaProf hands Nathan a copy of Windows 98.
<Nathan_Roberts> I guess I've been /really/ bad this year.
<TomFODW> wow, nathan - what could you *possibly* have done?
<TomFODW> at least coal is USEFUL
 * SantaProf checks his list and looks under Yads.......Hmmmmmm
 * Nathan_Roberts stands back
 * SantaProf shoots Yads with his high powered 45 caliber candy cane.
 * SantaProf looks again on his list under Alden.....hmmmmmm
 * Alden crosses his fingers for the inflatable sheep
 * SantaProf hands Alden a toilet where the water swirkls the right
    way and while he's at it snatches the America's cup and puts it
    in his bag.

Fri Dec 24
 * SantaProf pulls out his baseball bat and waits for that fat man to
   come by and try to steal his cookies again. The guy does it every
   year. Damn burglers.
 * SantaProf waits around the corner. Seeing the fat man coming in
    TheProf jumps on him and begins to pummel him with his louisville
    slugger!
 * Shel watches as presents fall all over the place and milk and
   cookies spew out of the fat man's mouth
<SantaProf> I knew it! he's a burgler! He has this sack and inside are
	    all these things he's stolen from previous houses!
<SantaProf> He brought his pets too. Some sort of Deer.....anyone have
	    a large pooper scooper? These guys are going to make a
	    mess on my carpet.
...
 * Shel points prof to the "thing" in the fat man's bag with "Brian"
   written on it... and notes inside is a pic of Liz in a bikini
 * Shel watches as the "brian" package spontaneously combusts and
   turns into a lump of coal
 * SantaProf sees the fat burgler start to wake up so he hits him again.

Fri Dec 24
<Whomiga> What is everybody still up for? Santa will not visit until
	  we are asleep! :-)
<dse> we plan to hide and then ambush him
<dse> besides, my apt. doesn't have a chimney
<dse> so he'd have to go through the door or window
<Whomiga> Got to find the first house he is going to, then ambush him
	  there...don't wait until he has given everything away
<Alden> Mum used to say she left the front door unlocked so he could get in.
<Whomiga> Doesn't matter, he can just materialize himself
	  inside....chimney was just a ruse to make us think he didn't
	  have TARDIS Technology
<Whomiga> Everyone knows he couldn't possibly make the trip without a
	  TARDIS - he spends the entire year just popping from the
	  current day to December 25th
<Whomiga> He must have a heck of a time making sure he doesn't do the
	  same place at the same time...
<dse> every Dec 25th from the beginning of time till the end of time?
<Whomiga> Nah - he just does one Dec 25th each year...
<Whomiga> Although if he managed that - he would have a lot of time
	  off after the first year...
<Alden> Have to be careful not to pick up letters for Santa in 1998
	and then deliver the presents in Dec 1997 though...
<Whomiga> Alden - could be bad - but not quite as bad if he delivered
	  everything a year late
<Whomiga> Or could it be as bad...
<Whomiga> News Flash: Santa gets confused, starts delivering presents
	  one year late...
<Whomiga> News Flash: Santa even more confused, starts delivering
	  presents one year early (As far as our investigators can
	  determine)
<Whomiga> News Flash: Santa gives up, starts delivering packages with
	  armored tank...
<Whomiga> Ho, Ho, Ho....

Fri Dec 24 [00:20]
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof, I have something to tell you.
<Nathan_Roberts> My resolve to not buy Windows 98 is weakening
 * Jondar watches Prof take out the champagne :)
<TheProf> Nathan! The theropy is finally working!
<TheProf> I knew all those pills would help in time.
<Nathan_Roberts> Therapy, hell.  All it took was a 17g hard drive :P

Fri Dec 24 [00:49]
*** TheProf is now known as St_Nick
*** St_Nick is now known as St_Nick^
<St_Nick^> Hohoho!
<St_Nick^> Have all of you been good little boys and girls?
<Nathan_Roberts> Yes... well, I guess so... well... Define "good"
 * St_Nick^ loves bad little girls.
*** St_Nick^ is now known as St_Nick_The_Perv
*** St_Nick_The_Perv is now known as St_Nick^
<Nathan_Roberts> Wow, I don't think anyone has ever seen /that/ side
		 of St. Nick before
<Alden> I'm not little
*** St_Nick^ is now known as SantaProf
 * Nathan_Roberts asks Santa for a subscription to Playboy.
<Shel> nathan????
<Shel> for the articles, right?
<Nathan_Roberts> Naturally.

Fri Dec 24 [01:07]
<SantaPerv^> Monica Alden even took the time to sign her name in
	     cement out in front of the airport and also left kneepad
	     marks as well.
<SantaPerv^> Don't you love someone who is a celebity because they
	     slept with someone?
*** SantaPerv^ is now known as TheProf
<Shel> maybe i should try that
<Alden> Yup, breakthe law, become a celeb
 * TheProf tried to do that once but Clinton turned him down.

Fri Dec 24 [04:31]
 * Nathan_Roberts is going to bed
<CrowTRobt> you just now going to bed?
<CrowTRobt> I thought you just got up
<Nathan_Roberts> No, I've been up since around noon
<CrowTRobt> god
<CrowTRobt> get your ass to bed
<Nathan_Roberts> I'll do better than that.  I'll get the rest of me
		 into bed too.

Sat Dec 25 [23:59]
<Nathan_Roberts> Crash!
<SantaProf> That's what you get for using windows. You should try Linux
 * Nathan_Roberts gapes at Prof
 * Nathan_Roberts has a heart attack
 * Jondar stares at Prof...
[I'll make a convert of you yet, Prof...]

Sun Dec 26 [16:33]
*** Jefferys has joined #drwhochat
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Jefferys
 * Jefferys is back.
<Jefferys> fullig losgelosst von der erde, geht das raumschiff....
<CrowTRobt> Hey Jeff what did you get christmas?
<Jefferys> money
<Nathan_Roberts> Drug money?
<CrowTRobt> lol
<CrowTRobt> I was thinking that very same thing
<CrowTRobt> but he may have gotten the drugs themselves not the money...
 * Sam-Jones bends double with inner laughter
<Nathan_Roberts> I was going to say "A bag of crack" but decided to
		 reply to his "money" comment
...
*** leftover_turkey has joined #drwhochat
<leftover_turkey> Hello room.
 * NemoDream eyes the turkey
 * leftover_turkey eyes Nemo
 * Jefferys eats leftover_turkey
 * FatherStrimal leeps onto a table and begins dancing to music only
   he can hear...
<leftover_turkey> Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!  
<leftover_turkey> No eat me!
 * FatherStrimal thinks mabey they wont notice my giggling flab..
*** Sam-Jones is now known as CarvingKnife
<leftover_turkey> Yikes
 * CarvingKnife chases the leftover turkey
 * FatherStrimal thinks about stripping then remembers his santa boxers
 * Nathan_Roberts stares at FatherStrimal
<CarvingKnife> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE haW!!!!!!
 * leftover_turkey gets up on his stumpy little legs and runs across the room
 * NemoDream sets out some gravy
<CrowTRobt> Don't look Nate!
 * leftover_turkey skids round a corner, and comes to a halt, back to the wall
 * CarvingKnife swoops and slashes
 * leftover_turkey looks left
 * FatherStrimal feeling sheepish gets down off of the table
 * leftover_turkey looks right
 * leftover_turkey mops his bow
<CrowTRobt> I think everyone got drug money this christmas and that
	    they have boght and used said drugs today

Sun Dec 26 [21:54]
<TheProf> Alden says he's been bad so he is forcing himself to read
	  RADW as punishment.....what a mascosit. He must have done
	  something very horrible.

Sun Dec 26 [22:02]
<Jondar> the worst I've done to a keyboard is accidentally drop it off
	 the table, it landed on the thin edge... hard, and snapped
	 the two halves of the moulded casing apart, causing the
	 numeric keypad not to work...
<Alden> The worst thing I've ever done to a keyboard is accidentally
	break it over Morgan's head.

Sun Dec 26 [22:27]
<Jondar> Nathan: what format file do you want?
<Nathan_Roberts> PNG?
<Jondar> I think I can do PNG :)
<Alden> /png Jondar
<Jondar> /fwap Alden

Sun Dec 26 [22:56]
 * Alden sighs. Kylie is drumming to The Corrs again
<The_Anti> oooooer.. It's Alden's lovely sister.
 * The_Anti tries to peer in through the monitor and bangs his head on
    the monitor
<The_Anti> OUCH
 * The_Anti rubs his head
 * Alden opens Kylie's door, hifs a tear gas canister in and closes the
   door again
<Nathan_Roberts> BWAHAHA
<Jondar> ROTFL Alden
 * NemoDream watches as the door opens and the can bounces back into
   Alden's room
 * The_Anti can see Kylie, Morgan and that other one plotting Alden's
   downfall..
<NemoDream> Trevor
<The_Anti> ah. yes. the one I forget about
<Alden> Morgan wouldn't do that.  He needs me to fix his computer
<The_Anti> <Announcer's Voice>
<The_Anti> From the far corners of the universe, they came. One goal. One mind.
<The_Anti> Kylie, the Mistress of Thunder...
<The_Anti> Morgan, Destroyer of Electronics
<The_Anti> and Trevor, the Forgotten One.
<The_Anti> Together, they've banded together to form:
<The_Anti> THE ALDEN BATES REVENGE SQUAD!
<The_Anti> And their target? A lone man.. from a far off land of New
	   Zealand.. a man known only as...
<Alden> The Phantom Sheep
<The_Anti> SUPER erm... ALDEN BATES!
<Nathan_Roberts> Alden Baaaaates?
<The_Anti> Join in the heroic battle, as Alden Bates, in his secret
	   guise of, erm... Alden Bates, works by day, and fights
	   crime by night with the help of his sexy sidekick, Meg....
<The_Anti> Each and every week, only on the DFB Cable Network.
* Alden waggles his eyebrows
<The_Anti> This week on Alden Bates:
<The_Anti> <Morgan> Waaaaaaaah! I zotted my computer...
<The_Anti> <Alden> This looks like a job for... *starts to rip off his shirt*
<The_Anti> <Morgan> Just fix it.
<The_Anti> <Alden> Okay.

Sun Dec 26 [23:27]
<Jondar> Doug: I'm on FirstLink
<Jondar> always have been (except for when I was testing AOL Australia)
 * Jondar hasn't had AOL on the computer since this time last year
<MegL> how did that beta test go, anyway?
<Jondar> the beta test went really well, actually
* MegL thinks it wasn't a test for 5.0
<Jondar> Meg: no, it was for an Australian customised version of AOL 4.0
<Jondar> customised in the fact that the "You've got mail" message was
	 recorded by a female Sydney radio presenter, and actually
	 said "You've got email"
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL
 * Jondar still has the wav file, I think...
<TheProf> You've got mail mate
 * Jondar fwaps Prof with the Fwapper of Rassilon (TM)
<Alden> The dingos got your mail!
 * Jondar fwaps Alden with the Fwapper of Rassilon (TM)
<TheProf> Force of habit Jason?
<Nathan_Roberts> Look at your track record >:)
...
<TheProf> They should have had Paul Hogan do it.
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof
...
<Jondar> there's also Angela saying "Welcome" (when you sign on),
	 "Goodbye" (when you sign off), and "File's finished" (when a
	 file finishes downloading)
<TheProf> She also says "Want to buy me a drink big boy?"
 * Jondar fwaps Prof with the Fwapper of Rassilon (TM)
 * Jondar sets up F11 as: /fwap Prof

Mon Dec 27 [01:17]
 * Nathan_Roberts is away (Cleaning room)
 * TheProf calls the EPA and warns them about Nathan's cleaning
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof, I think they'd be more worried about the state
		 it was in before
 * TheProf puts on his enviormental protection suit
 * TheProf looks in the mirror and says in a deep vioce "Luke, I am
   your father. Give into the darkside you little brat."
...
 * Nathan_Roberts notes that he got a fire extinguisher for christmas,
   and wonders if it's a sign >:)
<Alden> LOL!
<TheProf> A big sign Nathan
<MegL> LOL
<TheProf> We are talking neon lights territory

Mon Dec 27 [01:42]
 * TheProf checks the flu report for Kansas City...hmmmm. It says we
   have a 35% chance of bubonic plague........I hate websites that
   never update! This hasn't been updated since 1648.

Tue Dec 28 [23:04]
 * Jondar tries spinning on his desk chair counterclockwise five times
   fast.... and all he feels is dizzy :)
 * TheProf tries and bangs his knee on the table. $#@^ *&@#$ %$&##
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof
<TheProf> Sure! Beat an already unjured man! You bastard!
* Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof
<Nathan_Roberts> Watch what you say about my parents!
...
 * Jondar actually found Prof's comments insulting to punctuation symbols :)

Tue Dec 28 [23:48]
<TheProf> Good evening and this is the news. First up is our Y2K
	  report and according to goverment officials we are all
	  screwed.
*** TheProf is now known as Announcer_Prof
<Announcer_Prof> Since we all have no hope and are doomed to go back
		 to the stone age and thus I will be out of a job I
		 want to say how much I have hated this snively little
		 brat who has been my co-anchor for the last
		 year........Oops, it looks like I have missread the
		 Y2K report and it should say fine instead of screwed
		 although I guess I now am anyway.

Tue Dec 28
<TheProf> My DVD poll is running 2-1 in favor of the actors doing commentary
<TheProf> I'm very happy about that.
<Nathan_Roberts> Who's the other person you got to vote? >;)

Tue Dec 28
<Alden> Y'know, some Y2K I'm going to hang around in town by the ATMs
	and wait for them tos tart spewing cash
<Alden> er, come Y2K
 * Alden is partial to a stray latter or three. :-P
<Alden> letter!
<Alden> G-d damn my typing sucks tonight
<Nathan_Roberts> Damn, you're so bad you hit the - key instead of the o
<Alden> Yeah, just my f
<Alden> er, just my luck

Tue Dec 28
<Jefferys_Away> What do Australians want this New Year's?
<TheProf> New Zealand

Wed Dec 29
<DoctorWho> Now, if this were Linux, I could just kill -9 the bloody
	    thing.  There's no kill -9 in Windows.
<Jondar> I've got an idea for you Nathan... tried IRCing from both
	 boxes on your network yet at the same time?
*** Nathan_Roberts has joined channel #drwhochat
<Nathan_Roberts> Jondar: Yes. >:)
<Jondar> gee... suggest a stupid suggestion...

Wed Dec 29 [00:00]
<Alden> Anyone knew when at Galley Random's party is gonna be?
<Alden> the #DWC one.
<NemoDream> didn't know that Random was having a party
 * Alden isn't even sure if she is or not
<Announcer_Prof> I guess she will when 20 people show up.
<Announcer_Prof> Who are the guests?
<MegL> LOL
*** Announcer_Prof is now known as TheProf
<Alden> Prof: Peter Davidson's going to be there.
 * Jondar looks for Elsa...
<Alden> Also that Peter Davison chap who did Doctor Who .;-)
...
<TheProf> I know davison. Isn't there going to be a companion?
<Jondar> Prof: no
<Jondar> they decided on one main actor this year
 * Jondar personally thinks Whovention is better value... you get Sylv
    and Nicola Bryant here :)
<TheProf> OH well. I would be going if I lived in California.
<TheProf> You get Sylvester, Nicola and her breasts.
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL
<TheProf> That's 4-1
...
 * Jondar fwaps Prof with the Fwapper of Rassilon (TM)
<Jondar> this F11 idea really was inspired >:-)

Wed Dec 29 [02:11]
 * Jondar will be at a party, providing the music... any suggestions
   as to what song I should play first in 2000?
<AudioBoy> Jondar: "Doctorin' the TARDIS"?
<AudioBoy> ;)
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL
<TheProf> Jason "We're going to party like it's 1999"
<Jondar> Neil: heehee... I prolly will play it sometime during the
	 night, actually, but I don't think it's appropos for first
	 song
<Jondar> Prof: that's the last song I'm playing before the countdown :)
<TheProf> LOL!
<TheProf> How about the theme from 2001?
<AudioBoy> Hahah!
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL!
<Jondar> the first song I'm playing for the party itself is "The Final
	 Countdown" by Europe?
 * Alden wonders if Prince will rerecord it to 2999
<TheProf> Alden: Please call him by his correct name. He is now known
	  as the twit formerly known as Prince.
...
<Nathan_Roberts> Hm... Jondar needs an alias.  DJ Jondar? >:)
<Jondar> Nathan: I already use that actually :)
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL
<TheProf> LOL
<AudioBoy> DJ Jazzy Jondar
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL
...
<TheProf> Mind you if I was at a party at midnight I would be near the
	  light switches and shut everything off at midnight and then
	  go "Just kidding"......Then again I can be a jerk from time
	  to time. :o)

Wed Dec 29 [23:10]
<TheProf> You know Jason I really like the new colors you chose for Varos
<Jondar> Wow, I've managed to impress Prof with green for once... is
	 the world really going to come to an end? :)

Thu Dec 30 [00:29]
 * Alden realises Omega's costume in Arc of Infinity has an iMac for a head

Thu Dec 30 [01:31]
<Nathan_Quotefiling> We need a name for 2000, since it's not really
		     the millennium
<Nathan_Quotefiling> I suggest Penultimillennium >;)
<Alden> I suggest "Fred"
[Fwap!]
...
*** DoctorWho changes topic to 'Happy New Fred!'

Thu Dec 30 [01:38]
<Jondar> "Live from Sydney Harbour, the Millennium Eve...." *spark,
	 flash, blackout* "Oh bugger", said the announcer, now without
	 a microphone

Thu Dec 30 [02:01]
<Jondar> since it's just gone 9pm in Sydney, Jondar changes the #varos
	 topic to "27 hours until the end of the world (Sydney time)"
...
<DoctorWho> Now the question is...
<DoctorWho> Will the world end one time zone at a time?
<DoctorWho> Or all at once?  And if so, by which timezone?
...
 * Jondar amends the #varos topic to "26 hours 56 minutes until this
   planet turns inside out"

Thu Dec 30
<Shel> and for those of you who didn't know... 
 * Shel has a man now! :)
<Shel> which is why i'm idle so much :)
<Lyssie> Shel: . . . Great. My mind is going lots of places with that....
<CrowTRobt> whoa
<CrowTRobt> cool Shel
<CrowTRobt> is he a decent person or another one of the losers?
<CrowTRobt> does he use drugs or smoke dope?
 * Shel leaves out a very important detail of this "relationship"
<Nathan_Roberts> Is this anything to do with this 'letter' from Europe
		 yuo got for Christmas?
<Shel> nathan, yes!
<CrowTRobt> there is tiny sleight problem here
 * DoctorWho thinks.  Who could it be?
<CrowTRobt> letter from europe?
<CrowTRobt> I missed somethihng
<Shel> no one from #dwc :)
<Lyssie> Shel: do we know him?
<Shel> maybe, but i don't think you do
<CrowTRobt> I am confused
 * Shel 's in a good mood because he called here about a half hour ago :)
<CrowTRobt> Shel has a man she never met who sent her dead flowers for xmas?
<Nathan_Roberts> Crow: That about sums it up
<Shel> yes, crow
<CrowTRobt> god damn
<Shel> well, they were alive when he sent them... just the 7 days to
       get here in an envelope killed them :)
<CrowTRobt> help me out here
<CrowTRobt> he lives in Europe?
<Shel> yes
 * CrowTRobt covorts like a fairy... "and he is sweet?"
<Shel> yes, he is
<CrowTRobt> does he sound like dracula on the phone?
<Shel> no... lol
<Shel> well, i told him i didn't like flowers because they die so
       quick, but once they're dried i like them, and these arrived
       dried
<CrowTRobt> and he said " i just vanted jou to be heppy" right?
<Shel> lol
<CrowTRobt> you know Joachim is a free fellow here lately... and um he
	    lives in Europe... and well he isn't so regular in here
	    any more... ::sound of rusty wheels grinding::
<Shel> no! not joachim
<CrowTRobt> give us some kind of himt... like *where* in europe...
<Shel> southern europe
<CrowTRobt> arrgh
<CrowTRobt> spain? italy? greece? 
<CrowTRobt> albania?
<CrowTRobt> Shel... Did Gary move from toronto to southern europe?
 * Shel cracks bill upside the head

Thu Dec 30
<Alden2000> of course, the Amish are partying like it's 1899

Thu Dec 30
 * TheProf1999 waits for tomorrow when all the Y2K programmers have to
   start working at Burger King

Thu Dec 30
<Jondar> now, if only there was a channel mode to stop spammers...
<Alden> Jason: It's called +b

Thu Dec 30
 * TheProf2000 would give anything to see the look on the faces of the
   morons who will be climbing out of their bomb shelters in the
   morning to find people standing around their entrences. Not to try
   and get in but all pointing and laughing
...
<TheProf2000> Not only has the problem been minor but it is bordering
	      on nonexistent.

Fri Dec 31 [01:38]
<TheProf> In a little over an hour Alden will be the first to hit the
	  millenium. 30 minutes later we will all recieve an e-mail
	  from Alden that reads "Buy candles!!!!"

Fri Dec 31 [02:23]
<NathanR> sh*t
<MegL> Go to the bathroom then, 
 * NathanR fwaps Meg. That's ALden's line!

Fri Dec 31 [03:03]
<Shel> okay alden, quick drive over a few hundred miles and do it over again!

Fri Dec 31 [03:06]
*** MegL changes topic to 'CNN: All Eyes are on New Zealand. Meg: My
    Eye's are only on the Kiwi in the room!!!'
...
 * Shel quick runs to the all night grocery to buy a dozen kiwi to confuse meg

Fri Dec 31 [03:06]
<Alden> On the plus side, I haven't been turned inside out

Fri Dec 31 [21:19]
<TheProf1999> Last night everyone was going "Where's Jason?"
<TheProf1999> Now had I been as inibriated then as I am now after a
	      bit my answer would have been "He's dead! Stop bring it
	      up!"

Fri Dec 31 [21:26]
<TheProf1999> I feel sorry for Nathan. He has to do a quotefile for
	      the last 1000 years.

Fri Dec 31 [22:00]
<Crow1999> Happy New Year!
<Bob-2000> its 2000 in the central 
<Jondar> Happy New Year CST!
*** TheProf1999 is now known as TheProf1900
<DoctorWho99> LOL!
<DoctorWho99> I guess Prof isn't y2k complaint
<TheProf1900> Rats! And I thought I checked evrything!

Fri Dec 31 [22:13]
*** the_Millenium_Bug_ changes topic to 'Happy 1900 everyone.'

Fri Dec 31 [23:07]
*** TheProf2000_Away is now known as TheProf2000
 * TheProf2000 is back. Please do not make any sudden movements.
 * Whomiga does a sudden movement - but it is pulling the trigger on a
   gun pointed at Prof

Fri Dec 31
<TheProf2000> Some guy on the radio had a standing offer. If you
	      believed the world would end he would buy your home for
	      10 cents on the dollar. Your car too.


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