The #drwhochat Quotefile

Volume II, Issue IV: April 1998

Compiled by Nathan Roberts

Wed Apr 01 [22:47]
<CrowTRobt> I really don't know what all I need to do to prepare for Visions
<IsraelBeta> Crow: Pack clothes.  bring money.  be prepared not to sleep.:)
Wed Apr 01 [23:21]
<TheProf> Question for you folks. How big a hard drive should I get?
<ComputerKiller95> prof: 40mb.
<TheProf> Nathan unlike you I prefer MODERN forms of modern technology.
Wed Apr 01 [23:42]
<ComputerKiller95> AAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!1
 * ComputerKiller95 hits his keyboard with the Jackhammer of Rassilon!
 * AldenB wonders why they call them Jackhammers. Did they used to use them
   to hit Jack?
Thu Apr 02 [0:05]
<TheProf> I went to DisneyWorld and boy the place really has gone to pot.
          You should see the size of the rats there!
<AldenB> "That's no rat, that's my wife!"
 * AldenB thinks Prof's wife will come and fwap him if she sees that quote.
<ComputerKiller95> Alden: Pity she doesn't read the quotefile anymore.
 * AldenB wipes the sweat from his brow.
<AldenB> Actually, I'm not surprised.  The quote file is smegging long.
<ComputerKiller95> According to Prof, she stopped because it was "too silly."
<AldenB> That's what she'd like us to think.
<AldenB> I bet she reads it at night when Prof isn't watching.
 * TheProf is now going to have trouble sleeping tonight. Thank you very much Alden!
<ComputerKiller95> Let's ask Prof.... Hey Prof, does the wife regularly
                   abuse you near the start of the month?
Thu Apr 02 [10:52]
 * Shel misses the regular dwc crowd, sinc3e is isn't on very much in the
   evening anymore... : (
<Shel> -3 +she
<Nathan_Roberts> +esh
Thu Apr 02 [16:35]
 * TheProf would sell his mother to the gypsey's for a decent newsgroup
<Nathan_Roberts> Freeagent.
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof: What newsreader are you using now?
<TheProf> Deja news.
<Nathan_Roberts> Tried Freeagent?
<Nathan_Roberts> It's halfway decent at least
<TheProf> Never heard of it.
<TheProf> Is it small, simple and non agrivating?
<Nathan_Roberts> Well, it's halfway decent, and you won't have to sell
                 anyone to the Gypseys for it
 * TheProf tells his mom to unpack.
Fri Apr 03 [0:59]
 * Whomiga found a newsgroup called or something
   like that (Why would you go into the newsgroup unless you were a fan?)
Fri Apr 03 [1:05] <Whomiga>
I did find a newsgroup alt.building.elevators ...Sounds like either a
rising newsgroup or a rapidly falling one...
Fri Apr 03 [15:35]
 * TheProf is now running at 56K!!!!!!!!
<Nathan95> I HATE YOU!
<Nathan95> Well, to be honest, I always did..... <ducks>
 * TheProf fwaps Nathan into the next world.
*** Nathan95 is now known as NathanFromMars
Fri Apr 03 [17:39]
<CrowTRobt> Speaking of TheProf... did he ever get Free Agent working
<NathanFromMars> Crow: Yeah, he got it working
<CrowTRobt> I told him I was going to get a pet rock and name it after him
            They both have the same level of intelligence :)
Fri Apr 03 [18:50]
<Brigadier> War of the Daleks...
<Brigadier> isnt that followed by Poker of the Daleks
<Brigadier> and Solitaire of the Daleks?
<Brigadier> and of course, who could forget the great "Bridge of the Daleks"
<Brigadier> Rummy of the Daleks?
Fri Apr 03 [19:38]
<Bob01> wished money grew on tress
<Bob01> buy them now your money seeds for only 999.99!!!!! thats 999.99 and
        we will throw in the the free coin plant for add 555.99!
Fri Apr 03 [19:47]
*** Jondar has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
 * Bob01 takes the peer and opens frosty mugs of whup ass!
Fri Apr 03 [22:50] <Vila>
I still think that SETI should try to figure out if there is inteligent
life here on Earth befor they try to find some elsewhere.
Fri Apr 03 [23:08]
<TheProf> brb. A sandwich is calling me.
<TheProf> Strange thing is it is calling me Stan.
 * Whomiga notes that Prof has a call from the Earl of Sandwich
Fri Apr 03 [23:18]
 * CrowTRobt fwaps TheProf
<TheProf> Everyone hits me.
 * Nathan95 hits Prof for the sheer hell of it
<TheProf> Is there anyone here who hasn't fwapped me at some time?
<Nathan95> Anyone that hasn't, now's the time!
 * CrowTRobt hits TheProf again too
 * IsraelBeta fwaps Prof.
<CrowTRobt> this is fun :fwapfwapfwap::
 * chrisk doesn't think The Prof deserves the fwaps he's been getting.
<TheProf> Actually I do deserve them but that's not the point.
 * Nathan95 bookshops Prof
 * CrowTRobt bookshops TheProf
 * CrowTRobt hits TheProf over the head repeatidly with a empty 2 liter
   plastic coca-cola bottle bought at Albertsons Grocery on Hall Blvd in
   Beaverton, Oregon USA *boink* *boink*
 * chrisk runs over TheProf with his Saturn SC1.
*** Nathan95 changes topic to "(It's Abuse Prof night!)"
 * AldenB anvils TheProf
 * AldenB fwaps TheProf
<CrowTRobt> ooo that had to hurt
 * CrowTRobt slaps TheProf with an old diaper full of extricated chile
 * chrisk beats TheProf to within 25400um of his life.
 * Nathan95 fwaps Prof to within .0833ft of his life
 * Nathan95 fwaps Prof to within 1.578e-5mi of his life
 * CrowTRobt examines TheProf
<CrowTRobt> he's dead jim
 * CrowTRobt heaps TheProf's bloody body into the cart
<Vila> He's getting better...
 * chrisk prods TheProf with a 3048mm pole.
*** Nathan95 changes topic to "(TheProf is dead.  Long live TheProf!)"
*** CrowTRobt is now known as FatherCrow
 * FatherCrow gives TheProf his last rites
*** FatherCrow is now known as CrowTRobt
*** TheProf is now known as UndeadProf
<UndeadProf> brb. Need more brains for dinner.
 * CrowTRobt Drives a wooden stake through UndeadProf's heart
 * CrowTRobt shoots silver bullets into UndeadProf too just to be sure
*** Nathan95 changes topic to "(TheProf is undead.  Long live TheProf!)"
 * CrowTRobt fill's UndeadProf's severed head with Holy Waffers
*** UndeadProf has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<CrowTRobt> We killed the evil Prof!
<Nathan95> It worked!
 * Jondar wonders if we should kill Peer or thank him? :)
<dse> ding dong the Prof is dead
<AldenB> You kill the undead with a peer.  Right, I'll remember that.
<CrowTRobt> Now who are we gonna pick on? hey quit lookin at me like that
Fri Apr 03 [23:48]
 * CrowTRobt watches Nate's Propellor spin
 * Nathan95 fwaps Crow
<CrowTRobt> When that propellor spins like that you must be thinking, Nate
 * Nathan95 fwaps Crow
Sat Apr 04 [0:34]
<AldenB> There are pickup rooms?
<PervertSlayer> Are there?
<PervertSlayer> Are there minivan rooms too?
<TheProf> Yes Alden but your to young.
*** TheProf changes topic to "You must be as tall as your monitor to enter
    this room."
*** PervertSlayer changes topic to "You must be at least as smart as your
    monitor to enter this room"
*** PervertSlayer changes topic to "You must be at least as smart as your
    pet rock to enter this room"
Sat Apr 04 [0:46]
 * TheProf is getting hooked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer or as the wife and
   I call it Chicks with Sticks.
Sat Apr 04 [1:04]
<TheProf> <windy20_> -Hi Sexy! Do you want to see a pic of me and some of
          my friends?  For your erotic viewing pleasure come see me at
 - You can even watch me LIVE with your
          web browser!
<CrowTRobt> -Hi stupid? want some porno pics? cum see me at
Sat Apr 04 [1:42]
 * Nathan_Roberts suddenly gets a crazy idea... a Beanie Pet Rock!
 * Whomiga thinks - a beanie brick?
Sat Apr 04
 * Nathan_Roberts looks at Prof evilly....
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof, just because he can
<TheProf> My last name is not evilly.
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof harder!
Sat Apr 04 [13:44] <TheProf>
We had a funeral for you Nathan when Peer got you. It was a moving service
though spoiled by folks giggling.
Sat Apr 04 [17:18]
[Alden tells Lisa of her Adric award]
<AldenB> You won best Author!
<LisaG> No-WAY!!!!!!!
<AldenB> Yes way!
 * LisaG falls over in a dead faint
<LisaG> C'mon - I only bribed about 4 people!!!
Sun Apr 05
<Nathan_Roberts> Goddammit!
 * NemoDream covers the sensitive ears of her monitor
<NemoDream> such language -- dont want my cpu to repeat it ... ;)
Sun Apr 05
 * Nathan_Roberts has fun with a magnifying glass
<Whomiga> Looking at individual Red Green and Blue specs on the Screen?
<Nathan_Roberts> Actually, no
<Nathan_Roberts> And no, I wasn't starting fires with it either :)
<Nathan_Roberts> I was projecting the image of my room light onto the wall
 * Nathan_Roberts projects an image of his computer screen onto the wall
<Whomiga> The Screen is bright enough?
<Nathan_Roberts> Not enough to read the text, no :)
<Nathan_Roberts> Enough to project a ghostly image
 * Nathan_Roberts turns the TV on
<Whomiga> Oh, no - Nathan is going for a crude Projection TV!
Sun Apr 05 [1:19]
 * Nathan_Roberts suddenly thinks up a new name for win95
<Nathan_Roberts> Microsoft Titanic 95
<Whomiga> The Damage to the Titanic was Small compared to that in Win95
Sun Apr 05
 * Nathan_Roberts kicks Windows
 * Nathan_Roberts kicks the TARDIS Pentium
<Jondar> did you rename "My Computer" in Win95 to "TARDIS Pentium" ?? :)
<Nathan_Roberts> Yup
<Nathan_Roberts> One of the first things I did
<Nathan_Roberts> One of the other first things I did was change the text in
                 the Marquee screen saver from "Where do you want to go
                 today?" to "I'll tell YOU where to go today!!"
Sun Apr 05 [18:06]
<Shada> Hope Win98 is much better
<Nathan_Roberts> Shada: When pigs fly! :)
 * Shada looks out of a window
<Shada> Oh look, there goes a pig
Sun Apr 05 [20:59]
[Upon being told to save his money and rent the Lost in Space video]
<Vila> Rent my a**! I'm gonna BUY the sucker!
 * Nathan31 rents Vila's a**
<Vila> Nathan, its been kicked too often to be rented for much.
 * Whomiga DOES NOT want to know what Nathan is going to do with Vila's a**
<Vila> Whomiga, wear it on his shoulders like I do, I guess. Not good for
       much else.
Sun Apr 05 <Nathan31>
[Nathan comments on the easiest way to deal with Daylight Savings Time]
I noticed today that the time on my answering machine was correct.
The reason was that I never set it back last fall :}
Sun Apr 05 [21:57] <chrisk>
new theory: the Narns are from Narnia and G'Quan was a big lion.
Mon Apr 06 [1:14]
*** Nathan31 is now known as ProfsTormentor
<TheProf> Don't put my wife out of work Nathan.
Mon Apr 06
[Plays a .WAV I hate]
 * TheProf enjoys anything that annoys Nathan.
 * Nathan31 beats Prof senseless
 * Nathan31 discovers, to his surprise, that Prof can actually be more
   senseless than he normally is
Mon Apr 06 [1:38]
 * Nathan31 bashes his head against the wall
 * CrowTRobt helps Nate in his endevour
<CrowTRobt> :: bam bam bam goes nates head:::
 * CrowTRobt bashes Nate's head against the wall
Mon Apr 06
[Nathan comments on getting disconnected 3 times in a row]
<Nathan31> Goddamn!
<TheProf> That is not his last name and you know it Nathan.
 * Nathan31 fwaps Prof
<CrowTRobt> I thought my name was goddamn for years
<CrowTRobt> my dad always used to say "Goddamn get over here!"
Mon Apr 06 [4:01]
 * TheProf looks in his Lucky Charms box for one of those AOL free thingies.
<Nathan95> They've got them in Lucky Charms now?
<TheProf> Yep and I'm getting desperate.
<Nathan95> Desperate enough to try AOL???????
<TheProf> I think they have them in everything from cerial to diaper boxes.
<TheProf> You can pick them up in Husler........not that I would know that.
<Nathan95> In Hustler?
<Nathan95> Not that you would know?
<TheProf> How would I know? I never read that all....
          never.................notta.................wouldn't on a bet.
<Nathan95> What if Lis Sladen were in it? >:)
<TheProf> I'd get 100 copies.
<TheProf> Need that many to wallpaper the room.
[Now what would the Profess say to that?]
Mon Apr 06 [23:34]
<Candor> There is *no* Doctor Who action on EFNet... but there are local
<AldenB> Ah, you should stay here then. :-)
<Candor> Alden: And how would I ever find a date *that* way? :)
 * AldenB looks speculatively in EfNet's direction.
<AldenB> I'm rather fond of dates, raisens, currents...
Mon Apr 06 [23:51]
<CrowTRobt> Has anybody seen our favorite enbodyment of evil (TheProf)
<Candor> Who's TheProf?
<Nathan95> The most evil person since MrBubonic :)
<Nathan95> We used to have Evil Incarnate and his bumbling sidekick (I.E.
           MrB and Grek)
<Nathan95> Now we have the bumbling Evil Incarnate and his sensible
           sidekick (I.E. Prof and Crow)
<Jondar> no, a better description for Prof and Nathan would be "Pinky and
         the Brain" :)
Mon Apr 06 [23:58]
<Whomiga> Question: How exactly is Tom Jones Educational...
<CrowTRobt> You can learn new pick up lines?
Tue Apr 07 [0:27]
<dse> what if Barney were to guest star on Teletubbies?
<Nathan95> dse: That'd be great!  We could take them all out with one bomb!
Tue Apr 07 [0:43]
<Whomiga> What is the URL: http://?
<Nathan95> Hangon, I have to kill Lynx
<Whomiga> Poor Lynx!
<CrowTRobt> Watches Nate in horror
<CrowTRobt> you murdered it!
<Whomiga> Goona leave Styre alive then?
 * Nathan95 fires up Lynx again
<CrowTRobt> Nate you arsonist!
<Whomiga> Killed him first, now setting him on fire!?!
Tue Apr 07 [1:30]
<Shel> what's that called when you give someone sublemminal messages while
       they are sleeping?
<AldenB> Ummm... "Giving someone subliminal messages while they're sleeping"?
Wed Apr 08 [0:44]
<AldenB> 404 file not found.
<Whomiga> Even better - 204 No Content
<Whomiga> 410 Gone :^)
Wed Apr 08 [1:22]
*** MissHell has joined #drwhochat
*** MissHell has left #drwhochat
<CrowTRobt> WHOIS: MissHell (
            NAME: give me the wood
            CHANNEL(S): #drwhochat
<Nathan_Roberts> Oh darn.  I was hoping she'd do something naughty so I
                 could boot her
*** Nathan_Roberts is now known as PervertSlayer
<TheProfess> the prof says nathan should not kick the female perverts, he
             is now scrubbing the toilet
Wed Apr 08 [20:52]
<The_Sentry> WTH?
<The_Sentry> #drwhochat You can no longer speak to the collective (Cannot send to channel).
<The_Sentry> Is anyone seeing what I type?
<Drake> no Nathan we do not see what you are typing
 * MegL wants to know what you are drinking, Nathan ;)
*** The_Sentry is now known as Nathan_Roberts
<Nathan_Roberts> How much you wanna bet DALnet will kill me now?
<Jondar> Nathan: 3 cookies! :)
 * Nathan_Roberts wonders if he has some rogue script running
<Whomiga> Rabies Script attacked K9....
<Jondar> perhaps K9 told Nathan to "Adopt Silent Mode" and mIRC took it
         literally? :)
Wed Apr 08 [22:16]
[Someone plays crickets sound effects]
 * TheProf stomps on the crickets!
<TheProf> Eeeerrrrrrrrr. Sorry.
 * TheProf puts all the crickets into Nathan's computer. With all the
   bugs he has in it already they should feel right at home.
Wed Apr 08 [23:32]
[Nathan is bitching and moaning about how Windows 95 and OpenDOS
 (fail to) coexist]
<AldenB> Stick with one OS like the rest of us plebs then. :-)
<Nathan31> Alden: Then I have to choose either Windows 95 or Windows 3.1!
<Nathan31> And Windows 95 lets me run neat programs!  Like Lynx!
<Nathan31> But Windows 3.1 is far more stable.
<Nathan31> Forced into the choice, I'd go with 3.1
<Nathan31> (Anyone NOT convinced that I'm nuts at this point?)
<Nathan31> (Anyone here that wasn't convinced a long time ago?)
<Whomiga> I was already convenced - you're just making sure I don't let you
          out of the hospital
Wed Apr 08
<Nathan31> You know, there's a Murphy's law that says, "If builders built
           buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first
           woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization."
<AldenB> Woodpeckers are not an anticipated error.
[As I was saying...]
<Nathan31> I just came up with a corollary:
<Nathan31> "If builders built buildings the way Microsoft wrote Windows 95,
           the first fly to come along would destroy civilization."
<AldenB> First gust of wind, more like. :-)
<AldenB> I'm suddenly having visions of a demolished city, with a very
         surprised man in the middle holding a handkerchief.
Wed Apr 08 [23:40]
<Nathan31> I'm considering installing Linux on this machine
<AldenB> Meanwhile, Nathan has so many OSs on his system, he has no disk
         space for any other software...
Thu Apr 09 [0:01]
 * Nathan31 sees a copy of NeoPaint
 * Nathan31 invokes the "Six Month Rule"
<Whomiga> If you haven't used it in Six Months - it goes?
<Nathan31> Yup :)
<AldenB> Damn, I'd have to delete everything except Netscape and IRC....
Thu Apr 09 [0:34]
*** pillpopperr has joined #drwhochat
-TheProf:@#drwhochat- Nothing like having a nick that screams "I'm an idiot!"
Thu Apr 09 [1:46]
 * TheProf realises he and nathan are the only ones here who don't live on
   an island.
<AldenB> Prof: Yes you do.  It's just a really big island.
<TheProf> I hear New Zealand is holding its anual marathon aka 6 times
          around the country.
Thu Apr 09 [2:17]
<Nathan31> According to Nickserv, God is Psycho
<AldenB> Nathan: That says something fundimental about theUniverse. I'm not
         sure what.
Thu Apr 09 [2:38]
<PervertSlayer> Eep!  It's 2:38!
 * TheProf decides that joke has run it's course and fwaps it to death in
   the middle of the room and sets fire to it.
Thu Apr 09 [17:25]
<Shel> someone talk dammit!
<ComputerKiller> I don't speak dammit
<Shel> type dammit!
<ComputerKiller> dammit!
 * Shel knew that was coming...
Sat Apr 11 [3:54]
<Nathan95> I found a new gadget today.  A little battery-operated fan
<Nathan95> I also got a new hat
<Nathan95> Actually, I got 4 new hats
<Nathan95> They're all the same actually, but I have a way of
           trashing/losing them
<TheProf> Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh. Not really but your suppose to sound excited.
*** TheProf is now known as FraggleStick
*** FraggleStick is now known as FragglePaper
<FragglePaper> Now we need a scissers.
*** FraggleRok is now known as FraggleScissors
<FragglePaper> Nathan should be scissors.
<FragglePaper> Nathan is to busy playing with his hats though.
<FragglePaper> Nathan don't play with things you don't understand.
Sat Apr 11 [4:05]
*** FraggleRok is now known as JNT
*** JNT was kicked by BeanieProf (You fired Colin!)
Sat Apr 11 [4:08]
<BeanieProf> I of course love that Goddess of beauty Lis Sladen.
 * BeanieProf pants.
 * Nathan_Roberts shirts
[ * BeanieProf fwaps nathan for the worst joke of the month. ]
Sun Apr 12 [2:55]
[Prof and I are having extremely inhospitable weather]
<BeanieProf> This is more screwed up than our weather. I liked the weather
             on the old planet better.
<BeanieProf> Remember old Earth? It had nice stable weather.
<BeanieProf> Come on Nathan you remember old Earth don't you?
<Nathan_Roberts> Old Earth?
<Nathan_Roberts> Earth?
 * AldenB stares at Prof.
<Nathan_Roberts> Earth...
<Nathan_Roberts> Earth.
 * AldenB stares at Nathan.
<Nathan_Roberts> Nope, don't think I've heard of it at all, actually
<BeanieProf> It was going to be hit by that comet and we all had to come
             here. They didn't want a panic so they didn't tell the stupid
             peop............ooooohhhhhhh. Never mind nathan.
[ * Nathan_Roberts fwaps the living crap out of Prof ]
<BeanieProf> Explains El Nino though.
<AldenB> So how'd you hear about it, Prof? ;-)
Sun Apr 12 [3:04] <AldenB>
Dammit, I need to start up my own ISP or something. :P:P:P:P:P
Either that or get a girlfriend.
Hmm, which would cost less....
OK, ISP it is!
<BeanieProf> Your learning Alden!
<AldenB> Yeah, maybe I should get a virtual girlfriend and be done with it.
<BeanieProf> They do sell the blow up kind. All you have to pay after the
             first cost is the patch kit.
Sun Apr 12 [3:25]
*** Now talking in #drwhochat
*** Nathan_Roberts was kicked by The_Sentry (The_Sentry)
*** The_Sentry is now known as Nathan_Roberts
<TheProf> LOL!
<TheProf> Nathan you missed me doing the same thing.
<Nathan_Roberts> Hahahaa
<TheProf> *** BeanieProf was kicked by TheProf (Get a hair cut!)
<AldenB> *** BeanieProf was kicked by TheProf (Get a hair cut!)
<AldenB> Whups.  Echo. :-)
<Nathan_Roberts> Whups.  Echo. :-)
Sun Apr 12 [4:10]
 * TheProf plots evil things against Shill. He promised an update soon.
<TheProf> I want new DW pics!
 * TheProf plans to hold his breath until he gets them.
 * TheProf passes out.
 * TheProf is given cpr by his cats.
<TheProf> They know who gives out the canned food in the house.
Sun Apr 12 [4:42]
 * AldenB notes Azaxyr is offering Dimensions in Time on his web page
   for $12.....
<Nathan_Roberts> Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<AldenB> I only went there to see if I could find some pictures to use as
         dart boards.
Sun Apr 12 [4:45]
<AldenB> Ewwww, there's a John Long Middle School.
 * AldenB imagines the classes on drawing ascii art breasts. :-P
Sun Apr 12 [4:50] <AldenB>
Hey, when I tell altavista to search for "henry vizi", it replies with
"Ignored: henry vizi".  Sensible search engine.
Sun Apr 12 [5:29]
 * CrowTRobt picks Alden's pocket
<CrowTRobt> eww
<AldenB> Crow: My pockets are already empty. :)
<CrowTRobt> there is only one thing in your wallet and it ain't money
<AldenB> Crow: That's just there in case I get lucky.
<AldenB> You never know when you might need a credit card.
Sun Apr 12 [21:42] <Whomiga>
Elsa - you need to make a hate page - for anyone who gets to the page -
at davidson.html
Mon Apr 13 [0:58]
*** IdleMaster has joined #drwhochat
<IdleMaster> Hi There!
<Nathan_Roberts> Hey MrB!
*** Nathan_Roberts sets mode: +o IdleMaster
 * IdleMaster EXT-ER-MI-NATEs Nathan_Roberts
<Nathan_Roberts> WELL! If THAT'S how you're going to thank me...
*** Nathan_Roberts sets mode: -o IdleMaster
Mon Apr 13 [1:06]
<TheProf> My wife wanted a Brown Teddy beanie baty but I told her it cost
          to much. She's annoyed with me because today we found one and I
          said we couldn't get it. Couldn't tell her I bought one yesterday
          as a surprise for her. I drove out today to her work and gave it
          to her boss for her to put it on her desk just before she walks in
<Nathan_Roberts> Knowing her, she'd probably come home and beat you over the
                 head with it for making her wait :D
Mon Apr 13 [2:45]
<TheProf> Nathan the irc thinks your special.
<TheProf> Teachers little pet!
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof
<TheProf> Lets beat him up!!!!!!!
[Sound of a mob]
[Sound of gunfire]
 * Nathan_Roberts doesn't take that kind of shit
[Sound of a body hitting the ground]
 * TheProf is murdered by Nathan.
*** TheProf is now known as MurderedProf
 * MurderedProf was an innocent victem of more sensless natahn violence.
<Nathan_Roberts> [2:45] <TheProf> Lets beat him up!!!!!!!
<Nathan_Roberts> [SOUND] amob.wav
<Nathan_Roberts> INNOCENT?
<MurderedProf> That's the story I will give on the stand.
 * Nathan_Roberts hires Johnny Cochran
 * MurderedProf is filled with a need for vengance and rises from the dead.
*** MurderedProf is now known as UndeadProf
 * UndeadProf makes a Icecream sundae out of nathan's brain.
 * Nathan_Roberts makes a cross symbol at Prof
<UndeadProf> That's for Vampires you idiot!
 * Nathan_Roberts makes a Netscape symbol at Prof
 * UndeadProf is beaten back.
<UndeadProf> Hissssssss! Hisssssssss!
 * Nathan_Roberts makes a Lynx symbol at Prof!
 * UndeadProf collapses into dust.
 * Nathan_Roberts makes a DOS (Not MS) symbol at Prof!!
 * UndeadProf disapears in a puff of dust into the depths of Microsoft.
Mon Apr 13 [2:52]
*** UndeadProf is now known as ^
*** ^ is now known as Nothing
*** Nothing is now known as AnUnregisteredNick
*** Nathan_Roberts is now known as Unregistered
 * Unregistered isn't :)
Mon Apr 13 [2:53]
<AnUnregisteredNick> Believe it or not ^ is registered.
<Nathan_Roberts> I believe it.
<Nathan_Roberts> Remember \ ?
<Whomiga> I know - I looked it up
<AnUnregisteredNick> I did ZZZZZZZZZZ as a nick and it was registered.
<Whomiga> So is "_" and "|"
<AnUnregisteredNick> zzzzzzzzz Nickname is already in use.
*** AnUnregisteredNick is now known as zzzzz
*** zzzzz is now known as zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*** Nathan_Roberts is now known as _______________
*** zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz is now known as zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*** _______________ is now known as __________________________
<zzzzzzzzzzzzzz> Finally.
*** __________________________ is now known as ______________________________
<Whomiga> zzzzzzz is not registered
*** ______________________________ is now known as
*** _____________________________ is now known as ____________________________
 * zzzzzzzzzzzzzz feels sleepy all of a sudden for some reason.
*** ____________________________ is now known as ___________________________
*** ___________________________ is now known as __________________________
<Whomiga> zzzzzzzzzzz isn't
*** zzzzzzzzzzzzzz is now known as zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
<Whomiga> zzzzzzzzzzzz isn't
 * __________________________ is the longest possible one that isn't
*** zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz is now known as
 * __________________________ signs his name in the blank
*** ______________________________ is now known as ________________________
<__________________________> Fill-in-the-blank nicks :)
<________________________> LOL
<Whomiga> Services is ignoring me now!
<________________________> NickServ- This nick is owned by someone else.
                           Please choose another.
<________________________> -
<________________________> -NickServ- If this is your nick, type: /msg
                           NickServ IDENTIFY <password>
<________________________> The line in the sand nick night.
<________________________> Who doesn't know who is who.
<________________________> Neither do I really.
<__________________________> No, Rich is Who!
<__________________________> (Rich is on first?)
<________________________> No he's on second.
<Whomiga> The longer line is Nathan
<________________________> Who is on first _______ on second and ________
                           on third.
<________________________> You can tell by my bad spelling.
<Whomiga> Well, no actually - but now that you mention it...
 * __________________________ imagines a chat room full of nicks like this
<________________________> LOL
 * __________________________ imagines a Blond entering a chat room full of
   nicks like this
<Whomiga> Write in your name here nicks!
 * ________________________ fwaps Nathan. Please fill in your nick and then
   hand in the form to the receptionist.
<Whomiga> LOL
 * __________________________ imagines someone taking a pen and filling in
   the blanks on the screen
<________________________> We can see who writes on their screens. Sort of
                           an IRC IQ test.
<Whomiga> Hey in a few days one of these registered __________________ comes
          up as available
<________________________> How can you tell a Klingon has been using your
                           computer? By the white out on the screen.
<________________________> How do you tell that?
<__________________________> Klingon?
<__________________________> I've heard that joke before, but that was about
<________________________> $%^$(^$%#%#*^$)*^&%^$%#*%^*%$*%$ Erroneus
                           Nickname: Illegal characters
<________________________> -
<________________________> ***************************************
                           Erroneus Nickname: Illegal characters
<Whomiga> 21 _'s
*** __________________________ is now known as ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
*** |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| is now known
    as |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
*** ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| is now known as ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
<Whomiga> Registed 3/24/98 - now 4/13/98 (Only a couple more days)
*** ________________________ is now known as XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
 * XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX is the X offender.
*** |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| is now known as _|^_|\_|^-\^_|\\^_|^-\
<Whomiga> Yikes
<_|^_|\_|^-\^_|\\^_|^-\> Try sending a DCC to THAT nick! :D
<_|^_|\_|^-\^_|\\^_|^-\> This is the sort of nick people use to take over
                         channels with
<Whomiga> I can, but not by writing it in
*** _|^_|\_|^-\^_|\\^_|^-\ is now known as _|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\
*** VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV is now known as BillGates
*** BillGates is now known as Bill_Gates_
*** _|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\_|\ is now known as \\\\\\\\\\\\\\
*** Bill_Gates_ is now known as Bill_Gates__________
<Bill_Gates__________> Give me your money.
*** \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ is now known as |_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|
<Whomiga> Fun with Nicks Night!
 * Bill_Gates__________ files suit against Nathan for thinking which
   Microsoft bought the rights to years ago.
 * |_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^| calls Prof to the stand to testify that he has no brain
   to think with
<Whomiga> You can't think out programs are Shit - we bought the right to
          think that years ago!!!!
<|_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|> ROTFL
 * Bill_Gates__________ looks for a nice ranch to buy and relax at. He buys
<|_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|> I don't think your programs are shit!
<|_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|> No, really!
<|_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|> They're not............. they're crap instead.
 * |_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^| thinks this will be a messy quotefile this month :)
 * Bill_Gates__________ buys the rights to Nathan and Whomiga's air and
   says don't push me.
<|_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|> Why don't you just buy the rights to the Sun and the Moon
                    while you're at it?
<Whomiga> He does - didn't you know that?
<Bill_Gates__________> Great idea! Thank you!
<|_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|> Knew I shouldn't have said that
 * Bill_Gates__________ shuts off the sun.
<Whomiga> And Gravity too
<|_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^|> Now, the big question is, who did you buy them FROM?
*** |_|^|_|^|_|^|_|^| is now known as TheAntiGates
<Bill_Gates__________> Truth is I use OS8. Can't figure out that Windows
                       shit for the life of me.
<TheAntiGates> ROTFLMAO
<Bill_Gates__________> Can't believe everyone bought that shit.
<Bill_Gates__________> Still it keeps me in bowls for my haircuts.
<TheAntiGates> Well, someone said, nobody ever lost money overestimating the
               American people.  Or maybe it's underestimating...
 * Bill_Gates__________ uses only the finest porcelin for the bowls for his
<TheAntiGates> Bowls?
<Bill_Gates__________> Yeah! Ever seen his haircuts? He gets his haircut by
                       saying I'll take bowl #5.
 * TheAntiGates looks at Prof blankly
<Bill_Gates__________> Nathan have you never heard of someone getting a hair
                       cut by someone putting a bowl on their heads and just
                       cutting where the hair sticks out?
<TheAntiGates> No, actually.  I live under a rock, remember?
<Bill_Gates__________> I guess so!
<Bill_Gates__________> I waste my best jokes on you sometimes. :o)
<TheAntiGates> Hahahahaha
*** Bill_Gates__________ is now known as TheProf
*** TheAntiGates is now known as Nathan_Roberts
 * Nathan_Roberts notices that Whomiga is the only one that has managed to
   keep the same nick throughout this ordeal
<TheProf> He's a stick in the mud.
<TheProf> I must dash gents. Sleep calls to name............
          and so does the neighbor's dog which is really scary.
 * Nathan_Roberts thinks Prof is losing it.
<Whomiga> Yikes!
<Whomiga> Bye Prof
<Nathan_Roberts> Correction
 * Nathan_Roberts thinks Prof has already lost it
<TheProf> I lost it years ago in the war.
 * Whomiga needs to go as well
<Nathan_Roberts> You mean, the war you were never in?
<TheProf> Got it shot off in a battle at Won Hong Lo.
<Whomiga> See yall layer
<Nathan_Roberts> Nite Who
<TheProf> Night Who.
<Whomiga> Nite Prof and Nathan
*** Whomiga has quit IRC (Quit: Why am I leaving IRC? - Hmmm... To get a
    life? Nah...)
<TheProf> Night Nathan.
*** TheProf has quit IRC (Quit: My whole life passed before my eyes. I gotta
    get me a life.)
Mon Apr 13 [18:18]
 * Nathan_Roberts looks around for Netscape 0.9
 * TalusL envisions Nathan on an archaelogical expedition for the mythical
   Netscape -1.6
 * Borusa thinks of Nathan too as "Nathan Jones & The birth of Netscape" with
   the whip and everything
Mon Apr 13 [18:32]
<Nathan_Roberts> 11 web browsers and counting!
<Nathan_Roberts> For my next trick, I will attempt to run them all...
                 WITHOUT CRASHING!
<TalusL> Nathan, if you pull that off, you could get a job at MS
         programming stability into Win 98
Mon Apr 13 [21:01]
<The_Sentry> There.  16 web browsers. :)
<DrGrace> 16 browsers.  Now what? :)
<The_Sentry> Now what? Now, I'm going to open them all up at once!
 * DrGrace stands back
 * IsraelBeta watches Nathan's computer implode.
<The_Sentry> Netscape 4.05...
<The_Sentry> Netscape 3.03...
<The_Sentry> Netscape 2.02
<The_Sentry> Netscape 1.1
 * DrGrace analyzes Nathan's compulsion to crash his computers
<The_Sentry> Netscape 0.9Beta
<IsraelBeta> 0.9 *BETA*?!  How bloody old is this puter?
<MegL> LOL
<MegL> you need to clean your computer up
<The_Sentry> Internet Explorer 4.0
<The_Sentry> Internet Explorer 3.02
<The_Sentry> Internet Explorer 2.02
<DrGrace> That's not fair.  You should also load pages full of java
<The_Sentry> Mosaic 2.0Alpha
<The_Sentry> I've only got 1 or 2 Java-capable browsers installed!
 * MegL thinks Nathan should start a History of Browsers page ;)
<The_Sentry> Mosaic 2.1
<The_Sentry> Mosaic 3.0
<The_Sentry> Ack!  Not enough memort for Lynx!
<DrGrace> Nathan can't crash his puter.   Now what? :)
Mon Apr 13 [21:25]
<Gypsy> hey nathan: I diagnosed a com port shift on win 95 today:) how
        often does that happen?;)
<Nathan_Roberts> A Com Port Shift?
<chrisk> You imbecile! You've initiated a Com Port Shift! </Valeyard voice>
<IsraelBeta> Chrisk: You forgot to say Nothing can stop the catharsis of
             spurious morality!:)
<chrisk> There nothing Dan can do now to prevent the cathatrsis of spurious
Mon Apr 13 [23:20]
 * AldenB tries to decide whether to get a PII 266 MHz or PII 300 MHz
 * IsraelBeta tries to decide whether to fwap Alden with a rubber mallet
   or just go with the wood one.
 * IsraelBeta decides. Neither.:)
<Whomiga> A balsa wood mallet?
<AldenB> Foam rubber, please. :-)
<Whomiga> Oh - A nerf mallet
Mon Apr 13 [23:28]
<Starfury> ever heard of Szasz?
<Nathan_Roberts> No, actually
<AldenB> Wasn't he an Ice Warrior?
<Starfury> Nathan_Roberts: he's probably the most famous psychiatrist
           in the world.
<Starfury> you'd find his books very interesting... Thomas Szasz... also
           look for anything regarding what are called the "pseudo-patient
<Starfury> AldenB: hehehe! I never thought about it but it does sound
           rather ice-warriorish... =)
*** Nathan_Roberts is now known as Szasz
<Szasz> So tell me, why do you feel this compulsion to comquer and destroy?
Mon Apr 13 [23:25]
<Starfury> well that was a lot of rubbish...
<Starfury> according to this test, the most important person in my life is
           either my mom, my dad, a general hazy impression of "friends" or
           Jesus.. that I feel my relationship with them is durable, that
           I think my anxieties are about as big as your average deer, that
           I deal with them passively, that my ambitions are moderate, that
           I'm generally happy and open, and that I have a massive
           sex drive...
<Starfury> this test came to these conclusions based on a forest, an animal,
           a house, a table, a cup, and a body of water.
<AldenB> Where's this test?  On the Net?
<AldenB> It'd like to see it.
<Starfury> ok Alden... I'll forward it to you =)
<AldenB> Ack, I have a very small sexual appetite...
<AldenB> Aslo, I want to wash Bonnie Langford and put her in a cupboard....
<AldenB> I won't mention wanting to feed carrots to my problems.
<Starfury> what I want to know about that test is, what does a boat mean, as
           opposed to swimming, wading, jumping, flying, etc?
<AldenB> It means you want to avoid sexual encounters iff possible. :-)
 * AldenB looks sadly at his fish pond of a sexual drive.
 * Starfury looks bemusedly at her big lake with waterfall and river (ooh
Tue Apr 14 [23:17]
 * MegL wonders if her eye problems are from watching Seeds of Doom tonight
<AldenB> Seeds of Doom. :-)
<AldenB> And the sequel, Seeds of Quake. ;)
<Nathan_Roberts> And let's not forget the rejected original script,
                 "Seeds of Wolfenstein."
Thu Apr 16 [0:55]
<Starfury> Rich: reality has no place in my world. never mention facts in
           my presense again! ;)
<TalusL> /ignore reality
Thu Apr 16 [1:52] <dse>
want to watch Teletubbies but don't have a TV? just drop acid and grow Sea
Monkeys at the same time!
Thu Apr 16 [3:02]
<TheProf> I think my alarm clock may be one of those clocks with the radium
          numbers on it and they may have to much on it.
<TheProf> I have my alarm clock on the window sill and outside the rosebush
          just ate the first Robin of the Spring.
<Nathan_Roberts> The Venus Fly Rosebush?
<Whomiga> The Venus Robin Rosebush, you mean
<Nathan_Roberts> Whatever. :)
<TheProf> Would make a great conversation piece for parties provided it
          doesn't eat to many guests.
<Whomiga> "Wasn't John over there a minute ago?"
          "Yep, must have wandered off?"
          (In the background a Very Satisfied Rosebush)
<TheProf> At least the neighbor's cat won't use that area as a
          potty anymore.
Thu Apr 16 [3:30] <TheProf>
Nathan you need a hobby or a can never afford both.
Thu Apr 16 [3:34]
<Nathan_Roberts> Ack!
<Nathan_Roberts> [Magic_Myrka PING reply]: 22 seconds
<Nathan_Roberts> [Whomiga PING reply]: 1min 8secs
<Nathan_Roberts> Gothic is drifting away!
<TheProf> Grab me!!!!!
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof, you're not on Gothic
<TheProf> Then get your hands off me! I'm married you know!
Thu Apr 16 [19:17]
<Drake> i haven't even used half a mb of webspace
<Drake> still have over 5 mb to fill
<trinalin> Hmmm, I have an unlimited site. I still have infinity to fill
<TalusL> "To infinity and beyond" Trinalin?
Thu Apr 16 [21:55]
[Tal and Kim have just taken a "test" to see what their occupation would
have been in Arthurian times]
<talavera> I would have been 'a discoverer'
<Gypsy> tala: cool. I was  a minstral
<talavera> hehe...and you were eaten, and there was much rejoicing?
Sat Apr 18 [1:24]
 * McTalusL Mcremembers now why he Mcquit Mceating at McDonalds. The
   Mcfood is Mchorrible.
Sat Apr 18 [2:14] <Borusa>
If I ever get the bill for all the drinks that I get you lot, it would be
enough to pay off a small country's national debt.
Sat Apr 18 [4:31]
 * AldenB points to the empty space where his new Pentium II should be
   but isn't.
<AldenB> I assembled the damn thing, plugged it in, switched it on, and
         nothing happened.... So it's back at the shop for a few days.
<Drake> did a Nathan? ;)
Sat Apr 18
*** Now talking in #drwhochat
<TheProf> Nathan!!!!!
<Nathan95> Prof!!!!!
<Nathan95> Just saw you come online on ICQ
<TheProf> Hmmmmmmm. ICQ says your not here.
<TheProf> Your a demon impersonating Nathan!!!!!!!
 * TheProf holds out a t.
<TheProf> Back to the stigen depths from where you came.
<Nathan95> A t?
<TheProf> A cross you nimrod.
<Nathan95> Oh...
<Nathan95> hmmm
 * Nathan95 grabs the cross and breaks it in half.
*** TheProf is now known as TheExorcistProf
<Nathan95> That only works if you have faith!
<TheExorcistProf> Rats. I have faith only in Lis in  bikini.
<TheExorcistProf> I don't have a pic like that.
 * TheExorcistProf sprays holy water on the evil Nathan with a squirtgun.
<Nathan95> Prof is Exorcising ME???
<Nathan95> Can you say "Ass backwards?"
 * TheExorcistProf holds out a Beanie Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Nathan95> Ack!
 * Nathan95 is repelled
<Nathan95> In the name of all that is good!
<TheExorcistProf> I have faith in my Beanies to make me rich!
 * Nathan95 holds out a copy of Netscape Navigator!
 * TheExorcistProf hugs Navigator.
<TheExorcistProf> I love Navigator.
<Nathan95> Damn... that only works if you're in full evil mode...
<TheExorcistProf> I'm not evil! Just slightly twisted and married. Marrage
                  does that to you after 5 years.
 * Nathan95 holds out a copy of Lynx!
 * TheExorcistProf shrinks from the Linx.
*** TheExorcistProf is now known as EvilProf
 * EvilProf is unmasked.
 * Nathan95 holds out a copy of Windows 3.0!
 * EvilProf screams!!!!!!!!!
<EvilProf> Anything but that!
 * Nathan95 holds out a copy of CP/M!
 * EvilProf wonders what the Hell that is.
<Nathan95> It's DOS's predecessor
 * EvilProf turns to dust!!!!
*** EvilProf is now known as Dust
<Nathan95> Ashes to ashes...
 * Nathan95 blows the dust all over the place
<Nathan95> Dust to dust.
<Dust> Please spare me the Dustbuster!
*** Dust is now known as TheProf
<TheProf> I rise from the ashes.
<Nathan95> Shouldn't your nick be ThePhoenix?
<TheProf> Picky.
Sun Apr 19 [7:45]
 * dse hugs Nicole, the only female left in dwc
<yatesy> bye doug and get your hands of my ass :)
Sun Apr 19 [5:37]
<Nathan_Roberts> I've found that putting it on radio alarm and turning the
                 volume up to max is usually louder than the beep/buzz.
                 If I put my alarm on Beep, it wakes me up.  If I put it on
                 radio with the volume maxed out, it sends me through
                 the ceiling.
<Janet1> Sounds like a not-so-good idea....too many ceiling repair bills....
Mon Apr 20 [1:59]
*** TheProf has joined #drwhochat
 * TheProf breaths really heavy.
<AldenB> Prof: Ewwwww, what have you been doing?!?!
<AldenB> There are other channels for heavy breathers, you know.
<TheProf> Well Alden I have been thinking you probibly would have a
          complete list of them. ;o)
 * AldenB types /list. I have now.
Mon Apr 20
 * TheProf sees the wife coming at him with something in her hand!!!!!!
*** TheProf is now known as TheProfess
<TheProfess> I didn't touch him!
<TheProfess> Not yet! But if he keeps this up.........
 * TheProf grovels and asks for asylem in New Australia.
   More area to hide in.
Mon Apr 20 [2:36]
[Prof and I are discussing a WAV of someone falling from a great height
and going Splat]
<TheProf> The splat is to soft.
<Nathan_Roberts> It's supposed to be soft!  It's off in the distance!
<TheProf> Yes but I can barely hear it!
 * AldenB drops prof to see how hard he'll hit the ground.
*** GhostProf has joined #drwhochat
 * GhostProf walks into the room and with a spooky voice says "Who
   killed me?"
 * Nathan_Roberts looks at Alden
 * AldenB whistles innocently.
 * Nathan_Roberts has evidence!
*** GhostProf is now known as UndeadProf
 * UndeadProf eats Alden's brain.
<UndeadProf> That was abrely a snack!
 * UndeadProf looks for more brains.
<AldenB> Luckily, I have a spare!
 * AldenB takes the chip out of his calculator and sticks it in his head.
<Nathan_Roberts> So, Alden, what's 2+2?
<AldenB> 1+8=9
<AldenB> 5+6=11
<AldenB> 2+2=4
<Nathan_Roberts> What's (2+3i) * (8-2i) / (2 sqrt(5))?
<AldenB> Tilt.
<AldenB> It's not a scientific calculator. :-)
 * UndeadProf picks up Alden and drops him out the window and waits for
   Alden to become tomato sauce.
*** UndeadProf is now known as TheVengfulProf
*** TheVengfulProf is now known as BadSpellerProf
<Nathan_Roberts> Bad Speller Prof is redundant?
<BadSpellerProf> Yep.
<BadSpellerProf> Yep.
<BadSpellerProf>   Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep.
                   Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep.
                   Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep.
                   Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.Yep. Yep. Yep.
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof
Mon Apr 20 [2:57] <Bill_GiveMeYourMoney_Gates>
*** TheProf is now known as Bill_GiveMeYourMoney_Gates
Let me tell you the wonders of Windows 95 Nathan.
First you start off with the the symple functionaliy of the......hold on
that's not right... No. Let me push this here and move
that doesn't work either... You push the start up button and go to the
accesorries and hmmmmmmmm. Says illigal function... OK lets start with the
screen savers you get you right click on the desktop and then.........that
doesn't work either. Damn! now it's crashed again.
 * Bill_GiveMeYourMoney_Gates reads the help files that are provided. This
   doesn't work! Who writes this crap!
 * Bill_GiveMeYourMoney_Gates switches over to OS/8.
<Nathan_OverMyDeadBody_Roberts> OS/2
<Bill_GiveMeYourMoney_Gates> Whatever!
Mon Apr 20 [3:19] <AldenB>
Creature from the Pit, otherwise known as "The giant green tit versus
the leather women of doom"
Mon Apr 20 [4:14]
 * TheProf notices the time and has a heart attack.
<TheProf> Eep it's 4:17!
<Nathan_Roberts> 4:15 actually
<TheProf> Whatever!
Wed Apr 22 [0:51]
 * AldenB fwaps theProf.
<TheProf> Don't hit me! I'll sick my wife on you!
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof, we all know that your wife is perfectly happy
                 letting you get beaten. :)
<TheProf> LOL
<TheProf> That is true.
<TheProf> The wife says actually she would help Alden.
<AldenB> There you go then. >:-)
 * Nathan_Roberts can see the conversation now.... "Help, help, Alden's
   hitting me!" - "And this is bad... because...?"
<AldenB> Prof: You have a wise and beautiful wife. >;-)
<TheProf> LOL!!!!!!
<TheProf> Nathan that is a phrase she uses all the time! "I care because?"
<TheProf> Nathan are you stauking my wife?
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof
<TheProf> Take my wife please.
<TheProf> Should have sold her to that Arab king in Vegas when he offered.
<TheProf> Oops she saw that.
 * TheProf is now in danger.
<TheProf> She says she would have sold me but the guy didn't have a nickle.
 * AldenB is glad Prof maintains a harmonious relationship with his wife....
<TheProf> We have a perfect relationship. That is what she tells me we do
          and I'm to terrified to disagree.
<AldenB> Ah, yes....
<Nathan_Roberts> Sounds about normal. =)
<TheProf> Actually the wife is a little under the weather so I have been
          playing the fetch and carry game for her.
<Nathan_Roberts> ...and not taking advantage of her?  She must REALLY have
                 you trained well >:)
<TheProf> I can even sit up and roll over......her favorite trick I do is
          play dead.
Wed Apr 22 [22:01]
*** ChanServ changes topic to "Spider is lagged (CrowTRobt)"
<chrisk> Gee, what an exciting topic.
<chrisk> Tell the spider to grow some more legs, maybe it'll catch up.
<Whomiga> It's lagging due to all the foot problems it has - Ouch, Ouch,
          Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch (And that was just one step
Thu Apr 23 [21:53]
 * chrisk failed parllel parking the first time round.
<chrisk> parallel, even.
<NemoDream> cant spell it cant pass it chrisk ;)
Fri Apr 24 [19:45]
<Whomiga> War [of the Daleks] was....interesting
<IsraelBeta> Rich: You misspelled "crappy".
Fri Apr 24 [20:19]
<Brigadier> WTQFM,IWTRIN!
<Nathan-95> IT'S NOT EVEN MAY YET!!
<Nathan-95> (is it?)
 * Nathan-95 checks his watch
<Brigadier> WTQM,IWTRIN
<Whomiga> On May 1st - WTQF will come into action - until then HTQF is
<AldenB> Whom: When does "WTFQF" gome into effect?
<Whomiga> Probably soon after WTQF comes into action...May 2nd perhaps
<Nathan-95> When does WTGDFQF go into effect then?
<Whomiga> June 1st if April's still isn't released?
<Nathan-95> Who: I wouldn't wait that long.
 * Nathan-95 would be dead by June if April's quotefile wasn't out...
   Probaby at Prof's hands... :)
Fri Apr 24 [20:24]
 * AldenB gives Nathan a round of applause for his work in maintaining
   the Quote File.
 * Nathan-95 would prefer a square of applause.
 * Brigadier gives Nathan-95 a cylinder of applause
<Whomiga> A pyramid of applause?
<Nathan-95> Ah, what the hell.  A TESSERACT of applause. =)
<Whomiga> A dodecahedron of Applause!
<Brigadier> what about a Cone of Applause?
<Nathan-95> Uhh... Whomiga and Brig, you're going backwards.
<Nathan-95> We've gone from a tesseract to a dodecahedron to a cone.
<Whomiga> the Point of Applause
Fri Apr 24 [23:22]
 * Nathan_Roberts thinks of making the Web Browser Museum...
<IsraelBeta> "Hello folks, and welcome to the web browser museum.  On your
             left is an actual functioning copy of Mosaic 2.0.  Now, I know
             that all of you with Netscape 20.5 at home may find this hard
             to believe but yes, web browsers really did use to be
             that shit.":)
<IsraelBeta> The reason why the TARDIS used to be so hard to operate?
             Windows 98 operating system, of course.:)
Fri Apr 24 [23:25] <IsraelBeta>
[Referring to the article about Win 98 crashing on its public test run]
Proof that there is a G-d and she has a *great* sense of humor.:)
Fri Apr 24 [23:27] <IsraelBeta>
Prof, Nathan, *and* Mister B in the channel at the same time.  Isn't this
one of the seven signs of the apocalypse or something?:)
Sat Apr 25 [1:11]
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof, you're already middle-aged >:)
<TheOldProf> Yeah but they say the good die young so I'm toast.
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof, if the good die young, you're gonna live to be 500
                 years old.
<Nathan_Roberts> As for MrBubonic...
 * TheOldProf gives Nathan the evil eye.
<TheOldProf> From now on all your decendents will have your nose Nathan.
<Rubberplague> Nathan...
<Nathan_Roberts> Yeeees?
 * Rubberplague prepares the eternal fires for Nathan
 * Nathan_Roberts wonders what MrB thinks I was thinking
<Rubberplague> Nathan: Nothing really... I just like the idea of
               eternal torment. :)
<Nathan_Roberts> MrB, according to Prof's logic, you're gonna
                 live forever >:)
Sat Apr 25 [3:11]
<CrowTRobt> Nate has a point
<CrowTRobt> and no I don't mean the top of his head either
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Crow good and hard
<AldenB> Nate is a conehead? :)
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Alden good and hard
<BeanieProf> Nate but you are a conehead.
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Prof good and hard
 * AldenB nudges Bubonic to say something to get fwapped too....
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Rubberplague for idling.
Sat Apr 25 [3:16]
<BeanieProf> Alden my mind doesn't work like that.
<AldenB> How does you mind work?
<BeanieProf> With a whip and a carrot on the end of it dangling from a
<AldenB> Mine works when you pull the little cord which comes out my left
         ear, but that's not important right now.
Sun Apr 26 [0:00]
*** TheProf is now known as SuperProf
 * SuperProf suddenly begins to fly around the room in search of evil and
   finds nathan.
<MrQuotefile> Prof, you've got it backwards again
 * SuperProf shows off his big P on his chest and his snazzy cape.
 * SuperProf flexes his Super Muscles tm.
 * AldenB wonders if Prof's wife made the outfit for him.
<AldenB> If so, that would explain the target stitch into the seat
         of the pants.
Sun Apr 26 [0:03]
 * [Sound of gunfire] MrQuotefile shoots down Prof's ass
 * SuperProf checks his Super Rear tm.
<SuperProf> Not a scratch!
 * MrQuotefile tries again
 * MrQuotefile chucks a grenade at SuperProf
 * SuperProf laughs at your feeble attacks.
 * MrQuotefile begins tossing ancient 8" floppy disks at SuperProf
*** Jondar has joined #DrWhoChat
<SuperProf> Jondar I am invisable!
<SuperProf> invinsable.
<SuperProf> I'm something.
<AldenB> Prof: unspellable?
<Jondar> don't you mean invincible :)
<SuperProf> I'm that and more.
 * MrQuotefile shoots at Prof with the PeerGun!!
<SuperProf> That hurt!
 * MrQuotefile turns it up to maximum and fires again!
 * SuperProf dies a horrible pea shooter death.
<SuperProf> I would love to stay and stomp all you evil villans into super
            puddy........but the wife says I have to come to bed now.
<Jondar> so SuperProf has to take orders from MrsSuperProf :)
<MrQuotefile> LOL
<SuperProf> I would crush you all. You know I would.........I could do it
            easy.;......I mean I am all powerful and all that stuff.........
            I could......I could stay up if I wanted......wife isn't making
            me do this because as I said I am all powerful
<MrQuotefile> Admit it Prof.  You're a puppet and your wife is pulling the
              strings. =)
<SuperProf> Wife just said I can stay up a little longer.
<SuperProf> I dazzled her with my powers.
<MrQuotefile> Wow!  I'm impressed!
 * SuperProf has once again triumphed against evil.
<MrQuotefile> If she sees that...
<SuperProf> If she sees that I am Super Toast tm.
<MrQuotefile> You won't be going to bed... you'll be going to couch :)
 * SuperProf has slept on the Super Couch tm before.
<Jondar> Nathan: not the couch, the doghouse :)
<SuperProf> We don't have a dog and the cat bed is too small.
<SuperProf> I could always end up on the patio.
<MrQuotefile> I can see TheProfess saying, "I'd make you sleep on the cat
              bed, except then the cat wouldn't have anywhere to sleep."
<SuperProf> She would say that yes.
<SuperProf> They already sleep with her. They kick her off the pillows at
            night. I wake up and two of them are on her pillow and she has
            been shoved down the bed.
<MrQuotefile> ROTFL!
<MrQuotefile> So she's NOT the head of the household afterall!
<MrQuotefile> The cats are!
<MrQuotefile> (Surprise, surprise :)
<SuperProf> I have tried to explain to her how the food chain works and
            that she is farther up on it than them but so far it hasn't
            done any good. The cats still win.
<SuperProf> Never underestimate the power of cuteness in a cat to get what
            they want.
<SuperProf> Must dash. Bed time.
<MrQuotefile> Nite Prof... I think?
*** SuperProf has quit IRC (Quit: My whole life passed before my eyes. I
    gotta get me a life.)
Sun Apr 26 [16:22]
<Borusa> Nathan, I read a bit about Win98 and the bugs today.
<Nathan_Roberts> Win98 doesn't have bugs... It IS one great big bug! :)
Sun Apr 26 [17:53]
 * MegL just got Spam from Earthlink, unless Trina suddely started up
   an Adult site >;-)
Mon Apr 27 [22:46]
<AldenB> I turned on my computer today and got two messages saying "Master
         Hard Drive fail" and "Slave Hard Drive fail"..............
<chrisk> Master and slave?
<chrisk> Do you have an Orac drive too?
 * MegL has to admit she also thought of Orac %}
<MegL> and I'm not talking the vacuum cleaner that picks up bowling balls ;)
Tue Apr 28 [0:28]
*** Supreme_Being has joined #drwhochat
<AldenB> Hello Mr Modesty.
Tue Apr 28 [2:19]
*** BeanieProf is now known as Bjorn_of_Borg
<Bjorn_of_Borg> Your backhand is irrelivent.
<Bjorn_of_Borg> Your service is irelivant.
<Bjorn_of_Borg> My spelling is irrelivant.
<Bjorn_of_Borg> You will be one with the Borg. 40-love.
<Bjorn_of_Borg> You notice I have a tennis racket for an arm.
Tue Apr 28 [2:25]
<AldenB> Wooooooo!  Janeway with a phaser rifle!
<AldenB> Go Captain!
<TheProf> If she is in a bikini we have Barabarella.
<TheProf> I like the good old fashion science fiction when men were men
          and women wore miniskirts.
Tue Apr 28 [2:33]
<AldenB> Hmm, Sisko's shaved all his hair off......
<Nathan_Roberts> You really ARE behind!
<TheProf> Nathan should we tell him about JFK?
<TheProf> Sisko shaved his head last year.
<AldenB> Well, now two of the new series captains are bald.....
<AldenB> If Janeway shaves her hair off too, I'm switching to B5. ;-)
Tue Apr 28 [2:42]
<Nathan_Roberts> I'm starting to understand the pecking order... Cats, Profess, Prof :)
<theprofess> well, okay, but you have them er, him a little to close
             together.  you know, the prof is not quite as close to us as
             he may think he is
<theprofess> for example, the cats, the profess, animal, vegtable, mineral,
             tub slime, the prof
Tue Apr 28 [3:07]
<theprofess> ok, i need some time alone now.  i must think this all over.
             Nathan, any more cyanide handy?
 * DeadNathan points to Alden
 * AldenB flips a capsule to the Profess.
<theprofess> oh prof, oh prof, here proffy proffy proffy....
*** theprofess is now known as TheProf
<TheProf> Hey the wife got me some new vitamins.
Tue Apr 28 [12:20] <Drake>
oh dear a fight on Jerry Springer!!!!
i think they should add the old BIFF POW KA-ZOWIE Batman graphics to
Wed Apr 29 [21:35]
[Whomiga and I are discussing geeky things like C programming]
<CrowTRobt> byte-bonding - when computer users discuss things that
            nearby noncomputer users don't understand. See
            also "geeking out"
<Nathan_Roberts> Crow: Is my beanie spinning yet? :)
<CrowTRobt> It be atwirling Nate
<Whomiga> Nathan, you are cleared for takeoff from helipad 2...
Wed Apr 29 [22:06] <Whomiga>
Windows is a real pane!

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