The #drwhochat Quotefile

Special Feature:

Lemonade Flavoured Liquid Heroin


Tue Jul 25 [06:59]
<BayouBecky> Erm... what exactly are you consuming....?
<NathanR> Lemonade
<CyberTalus> so he thinks
 * BayouBecky *snerks*
<CyberTalus> it's actually a concoction of sugar, salt, lemon
	     flavoring, and to keep 'em coming heroin
<CyberTalus> IRC also somehow manages to have heroin in it, I'm just
	     not quite sure how it works its way into the bloodstream
<BayouBecky> Osmosis
 * BayouBecky shrugs... seemed like a good enough explanation for me
<CyberTalus> that could work
<CyberTalus> or subliminal messages telling you to drink the lemonade
<BayouBecky> Everyone's keyboards are set up to have heroin coming out
	     of it into your bloodstream.... and if you have IRC, and
	     use it, that's what triggers it
<NathanR> LOL
<CyberTalus> lol
<CyberTalus> I think you've found the answer!
<CyberTalus> so to kick IRC addication all I need is a pair of
	     PsiCorps Gloves(tm)
<NathanR> What happens when the keyboard runs out of heroin?  How does
	  it resupply?
<BayouBecky> Now, the subliminal messages, I could see.  I mean, when
	     you first sign on to IRC, most of the time you get this
	     big stream of writing, saying whatever the message du
	     jour from your server is.  There's a subliminal message
	     hidden in there!
<NathanR> Ahh, but I have that message turned off
<BayouBecky> I bet you didn't know this, but there's a hidden pocket
	     of heroin hidden away inside your computer.  You can't
	     find it cause it
<BayouBecky> s soooo well hidden
<BayouBecky> Um
<CyberTalus> I think it's more complex than that.  I think it's tied
	     to the refresh rate of your monitor.
<BayouBecky> Technicalities, Nate.
<BayouBecky> No, no, if it was any more complex, people would have
	     figured it out looooooooong ago
<NathanR> So what happens when /it/ runs out?
<BayouBecky> Then you have another hidden pocket in the monitor itself
<NathanR> So what happens when /it/ runs out?
<CyberTalus> Becky: I know where it is, but that's the secret I could
	     never tell anyone about why I like working on computers
	     so much.  While I was in there I'd snag their heroin.
<BayouBecky> Then there's a pocket in each of the speakers
<BayouBecky> LOL!
<NathanR> What happens when /they/ run out??
<BayouBecky> And one or two in the printer.... you don't mean to tell
	     me you thought that was the ink cartridges, did you?
<BayouBecky> And then there's one in the mic, and one in the
	     webcam.... and one in the scanner
<BayouBecky> Actually, there's three in my scanner.  
<CyberTalus> Nate: maybe that's why computers breakdown every so often
	     and require the case to be opened.  They don't really
	     crash, they send out a subliminal message telling you to
	     change the heroin or hire someone who knows how to.
<BayouBecky> That's all a computer tech really is, you know
<BayouBecky> Someone to change the heroin in your computer
<CyberTalus> I think we've got the hows figured out, now we just need
	     the Whys
<BayouBecky> Why not?
<CyberTalus> okay, that covers the Whys then :-)
<BayouBecky> See, all the upgrades for computers are really to hide
	     the fact that they've figured out how to put more heroin
	     in the computer
<CyberTalus> that makes sense
<BayouBecky> I mean, your 750 mhz computers have twice as much heroin
	     as the 350 mhz ones
<NathanR> What about my ancient 133?
<BayouBecky> You're just shit outta luck, nate.  Sorry
<NathanR> I hardly ever upgrade anything...
<NathanR> Maybe that's why I don't get on IRC much anymore... I'm
	  running out of heroin
<CyberTalus> that is definitely it Nate
<BayouBecky> Well, looks like your computer is in need of an
	     ermm... upgrade, Nate.  Better do it soon, before we lose
	     you!
<CyberTalus> you need to resupply your heroin immediately
 * NathanR points at the lemonade
<BayouBecky> LOL!
<NathanR> Heroin up the wazoo!!
<CyberTalus> and you're stil here too.....
<BayouBecky> Somehow, I just don't see you putting your lemonade
	     inside your computer.... call it a crazy hunch, but I
	     just do NOT see that happening
<NathanR> Who said anything about putting it in my computer
<NathanR> I'm ingesting it directly.  Always eliminate the middleman,
<BayouBecky> Hey, man, whatever works, Nate!  Middlemen suck!

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