The #drwhochat Quotefile
Special Feature:

Tue Jul 14 [1:11]
 * TalusElf counts Krotons to try and fight insomnia.
<TalusElf> 1
<TalusElf> <blink>
<TalusElf> 2
<TalusElf> <yawn>
<TalusElf> 3
<TalusElf> zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 * CrowTRobt fwaps TalusElf
<CrowTRobt> If I can't sleep you can't either
<TalusElf> hey!
<TalusElf> lol
<TalusElf> Crow: last time I checked we weren't married, so I think I
           *am* allowed to sleep if you aren't
<CrowTRobt> Uhh I am married
<CrowTRobt> so no you can't sleep with me Mate
<TalusElf> Crow: nevermind
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> The conversation has crossed the threshold into
                      weirdness
<AldenB> Nathan: It always was  weird....
<MrBubonic> Nathan: Should we kill them?
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Yeah, why not.
<CrowTRobt> wait a min
 * TalusElf regrets that he has but one life to give for his weirdness.
<CrowTRobt> you can't kill me!
<CrowTRobt> I'm not even alive
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Destroy then.
<MrBubonic> No, Crow, you're not a genius!
<CrowTRobt> ok scrotch
 * MrBubonic removes a small nuclear device from his trousers (How the
   hell did that get there?!)
 * CrowTRobt starts tearing up all the blood contracts he got for
   Joachim today
<MrBubonic> Crow: Wait, wait, wait!
<CrowTRobt> what?
<MrBubonic> Who'd you get today?
<CrowTRobt> lessee
<CrowTRobt> hey wait a min...
<CrowTRobt> you just want these contracts then you will destroy me anyway
<CrowTRobt> I ain't telling
<MrBubonic> Give me a teaser, please. If its good, then you get to stay
            intact.
<CrowTRobt> No Father of Lies Lord of Flies
<MrBubonic> Crow... I could turn you into a diehard trekkie if you
            dont obey...
<CrowTRobt> ack
<CrowTRobt> noooooooo
<MrBubonic> Crow: Or even a President of the William Shatner fanclub...
*** CrowTRobt is now known as CrowTRedShirt
<CrowTRedShirt> ack
<CrowTRedShirt> get
<CrowTRedShirt> behind
<CrowTRedShirt> me
<CrowTRedShirt> satan
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> My go... er... devil... You're more evil than I
                      had even fathomed!
 * MrBubonic walks behind crow and stares at his back
<MrBubonic> I can make ALL of you members of the William Shatner fanclub!!!
            MUAHAHAHAHA
<CrowTRedShirt> hmm I wonder what the dilithium crystal ratio could be
                tuned to get above the warp barrier
<CrowTRedShirt> I hate you Joachim!
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away knows that he's safe for as long as he's
   the quotefile keeper )
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> :)
*** CrowTRedShirt is now known as CrowTMrSpockEars
<CrowTMrSpockEars> arrgh
<CrowTMrSpockEars> just take me out of my misery now
<MrBubonic> I am limitless darkness! No evil equals me! Obey me or
            I will turn you all into Germans!!!
<CrowTMrSpockEars> ja derr herr Scrotch
*** MrBubonic is now known as Scrotch
<CrowTMrSpockEars> jawol
 * CrowTMrSpockEars goosesteps around the room
 * TalusElf holds a fortune cookie toward Proteus/Srotch/Frenric. "You
   can't hurt me as long as I believe."
<CrowTMrSpockEars> sieg heil
<CrowTMrSpockEars> ve haff vays uf makink jou disbelieve
<Scrotch> Such futileness, Talus. Tomorrow you will wake up as a new person.
          You will wake up as Jim Varney!!!
 * TalusElf doesn't believe in disbelief :-)
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> You... disbelieve, Talus!
<TalusElf> Nathan: It don't matter.  As long as I believe in *something*
           I'm safe, and I still believe in the validity of the fortunes in
           fortune cookies, so I'm fine.
<CrowTMrSpockEars> look it's that Earnest dude!
<Scrotch> So, the Egyptian escaped me! He will pay for that!!!
*** CrowTMrSpockEars is now known as CrowTKirkismyidol
<CrowTKirkismyidol> ugh
<CrowTKirkismyidol> i can't stand it
<CrowTKirkismyidol> shoot me now
*** CrowTKirkismyidol was kicked by Nathan_Roberts_Away (Mercy killing.)
*** Joins: CrowTKirkismyidol
*** CrowTKirkismyidol is now known as CrowTRoastingInHell
<CrowTRoastingInHell> warm
<CrowTRoastingInHell> warm
<CrowTRoastingInHell> warm at last
 * CrowTRoastingInHell opens a cookie and reads his fortune...
<CrowTRoastingInHell> Confusious say boy who go to bed with sex on mind
                      wake up with solution in hand
<CrowTRoastingInHell> what the hell is that supposed to mean?
<Scrotch> Hey Crow, what are you doing here? I didnt let you inside
          the gates!!!
<CrowTRoastingInHell> ow! watch the pich forks
<CrowTRoastingInHell> uh nate killed me and you hae my soul so here I am
<Scrotch> Oh no! Not until I claim it myself!
<Scrotch> Out you go!
<CrowTRoastingInHell> hey!
<Scrotch> And dont come back unless I kill you!
<CrowTRoastingInHell> aww
<CrowTRoastingInHell> no fair
 * Scrotch prods Crow with a pitchfork
*** CrowTRoastingInHell is now known as CrowTRobt
<CrowTRobt> ouch
<CrowTRobt> ok I'm leaving
 * CrowTRobt goes to watch Godzilla King of the Monsters
<CrowTRobt> at least I still like Godzilla
 * CrowTRobt goes to sleep during the opening credits
<CrowTRobt> zzzzzzzzzz
 * TalusElf ponders setting Crow's watch ahead six hours, but decides
   that's too obvious of a prank.
<CrowTRobt> *snort* wha
<CrowTRobt> Joachim you are so evil!
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away sets Crow's watch 20 years ahead >:)
 * CrowTRobt fwaps Nathan_Roberts_Away
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> That's it, just go and fwap me.  Don't play along and
                      generate several pages of good quotefile material :)
<TalusElf> Scandal!  Nathan_Roberts caught staging QF material, film at 11!
<CrowTRobt> It is your fault
<CrowTRobt> you are the one who suggested he kill us
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> I was not!
<CrowTRobt> I can't even die properly
<CrowTRobt> he sends me back to suffer
<Scrotch> Crow: YOu are clearly destined to Burn in Hell... How can you
          fall asleep during a Big G film..?
<CrowTRobt> You did this to me Scrotch
<CrowTRobt> First you made me a trekkie
<CrowTRobt> then you fixed it so I can't stay awake for zilla
<CrowTRobt> you evil SOB
<CrowTRobt> I can't even roast in hell
<Scrotch> No!!! I would never do that!!! Never!!!
<CrowTRobt> you kick me from my final rest to suffer on earth
 * Scrotch ponders the idea of eternal hell with everyone falling asleep
   during Big G vs Spacegodzilla...
<Scrotch> Nah...
<CrowTRobt> I want my soul back
<CrowTRobt> This was not in the contract
<CrowTRobt> you just breeched the contract
<Scrotch> No I did not!
<CrowTRobt> they don't call you the Father of Lies for nothing
<CrowTRobt> gimme my soul back
 * Scrotch gives Crow Nathans soul
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Hey!
<CrowTRobt> making me sleepy in a Zilla film is going too far
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> You do that and you'll never see another Quotefile
                      again!
<CrowTRobt> what is this thing?
<CrowTRobt> here nate
<CrowTRobt> My soul
<CrowTRobt> gimme
<CrowTRobt> do I have to call the swedish authorities about all those
            bootleg zilla movies Joachim?
 * CrowTRobt crosses arms and taps foot
 * Scrotch gives Crow a copy of Godzilla85 - Special edition (187 minutes)
<CrowTRobt> no sir
<CrowTRobt> my soul please
<Scrotch> Bootleg? I dont know what you're talking about!?
<CrowTRobt> yeah right
<CrowTRobt> my soul sir
<CrowTRobt> nothing more or less
 * Scrotch gives Crow a complete set of Gamera videos
<CrowTRobt> don't try that on me
<CrowTRobt> my soul thank you
 * Scrotch gives Crow Roland Emmerich's soul
<Scrotch> Here, do what thou wilt with it.
<CrowTRobt> it won't fit me you fiend
<CrowTRobt> I want mine
<CrowTRobt> Here I will cut you a deal
 * TalusElf is goofing off at http://home1.gte.net/davros/prop.htm
<CrowTRobt> you can keep the soul if you fix me back the way I was and
            promise to only torture me in the normal hellish ways
<Scrotch> ok...
<CrowTRobt> thankyou
 * Scrotch makes Crow stay awake during Big G movies
 * Scrotch removes all trekkian tendencies from Crows mind
<CrowTRobt> ahhh
<CrowTRobt> please sign this sub contract
 * Scrotch reads the fineprint
 * CrowTRobt sweats
<Scrotch> Whats this?
<CrowTRobt> uh nothing
<CrowTRobt> don't pay any attention to that it doesn't concern our
            transaction
<Scrotch> Why do you want first rights to all the souls in #drwhochat?
 * CrowTRobt lines out that sentence
<Scrotch> Most of them are mine already, so ok.
<CrowTRobt> there we have a deal
<CrowTRobt> can i go to the lava steam bath now?
<Scrotch> Hey! You dont get the right to step on my tail twice a day
<CrowTRobt> what if it is just an accident?
 * Scrotch refuses to sign the contract
<CrowTRobt> come on sign
<CrowTRobt> I want to go to lava steambaths
<CrowTRobt> here I will line that one out too
<CrowTRobt> now sign it
<Scrotch> Whats this? You want a fullsize Godzilla replica made out
          of bronze?
<CrowTRobt> why not?
<CrowTRobt> that is a simple request
 * CrowTRobt changes fullsize to halfsize
<CrowTRobt> there
<CrowTRobt> is that better?
<Scrotch> Yes.
<CrowTRobt> now sign
 * AldenB points out the clause where Scrotch has to bow to Crow at
   least once a week.
<CrowTRobt> shut up Alden
 * Scrotch missed that one
 * CrowTRobt grudgingly lines that one out too
<CrowTRobt> that is the rest of them now sign
<CrowTRobt> need a pen?
 * Scrotch signs the contract
<CrowTRobt> there
<CrowTRobt> Now I am off the lava steambaths
<CrowTRobt> which it says in the contract I have full access to anytime
            I want muahahahaha
<Scrotch> Oh, I forgot to tell you Crow. We've turned it into a ice-pool
<CrowTRobt> arrgh
 * CrowTRobt slumps shoulders in defete
<CrowTRobt> you win

Fri Jul 17 [4:10]
<CrowTRobt> 6:00 GODDAMN!
<CrowTRobt> shit
<CrowTRobt> it is daylight outside
<CrowTRobt> I stayed up all night
<CrowTRobt> My wife is gonna kill me
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away plays Taps for Crow
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Would you like me to just shoot you Crow and make
                      it a quick and painless death?
<CrowTRobt> yes Nate please
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Blindfold?
<CrowTRobt> yes Nate and a cigarette too
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away hands Crow the requested items
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> What do you want on your tombstone?
 * CrowTRobt smokes
<CrowTRobt> peperoni
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Knew that was coming.
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away hands the requested order to Crow
 * CrowTRobt eats the pizza
 * CrowTRobt puts on the blind fold
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away gets out gun
 * CrowTRobt does the Locomotion
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> ::click::
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away shoots Crow in the head at point-blank range
<CrowTRobt> ugh
*** CrowTRobt is now known as CrowTDread
 * CrowTDread falls to the ground
 * Alden admires Crow's dreads.
<Alden> Nice hair, mon.
*** CrowTDread is now known as CrowTDead
 * CrowTDead starts to get all rigored and stink
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away drags Crow out to his grave
<Alden> "starts"? ;-)
 * Alden runs!
 * CrowTDead is dead and can't do anything to Alden
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away uncerimoniously dumps Crow into the grave
 * CrowTDead slump
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away calls for tractor to come in and dump a load of
   dirt onto the grave
*** CrowTDead is now known as CrowTGhost
 * Nathan_Roberts_Away hammers the headstone into the ground, reading
   one solitary word.
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> "peperoni"
 * CrowTGhost rises out of grave
 * CrowTGhost trudges to hell
 * CrowTGhost reads sign
<CrowTGhost> "closed for repairs"
<CrowTGhost> what the hell is this shit!
<CrowTGhost> open up Joachim!!
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> I don't think he's paying attention
 * CrowTGhost hammers at the gate
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> He's off partaking in horridly evil acts.
                      (Otherwise known as "work")
<Blor> Crow: Your time has not come yet.
<CrowTGhost> arrgh
<CrowTGhost> you ARE evil
<Blor> Crow: Greater evil wants your soul for now...
*** CrowTGhost is now known as CrowTRobt
<Alden> Blor: Bill Gates?
<Blor> Nah. His wife...
 * CrowTRobt digs his way out of the grave
<CrowTRobt> this is really hell right here
<CrowTRobt> I know a lot of people who think that this is the real hell
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Crow: Seeing as I'm in the middle of a heat wave,
                      I'm in no position to disagree. :)
<CrowTRobt> I also am of the conclusion that God is a Woman
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Hahahaha'
<CrowTRobt> all men will go to hell
<CrowTRobt> all women go to heaven
<CrowTRobt> the women throw shoes at the men in hell
*** Quits: CrowTRobt (Quit: Connection reset by angry wife)

Fri Jul 17 [4:25]
<Blor> Maybe I should have taken him into hell... Into safety...
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Yeah Joachim, you should have!
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> She may send him to you prematurely...
<Blor> She wont. I have a contract with her.
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Do you now...
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> I suppose you also have a contract with the Profess?
<Blor> Yep.
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> Figures
<Nathan_Roberts_Away> This explains much.
<Blor> Crow an Prof are actually both dead and suffering eternal damnation...