The #drwhochat Quotefile
Special Feature:

The Most Surprised Dalek in History

This session began on Tuesday, May 12 at 9:06pm pdt, and continued (in bits and pieces) into the wee hours of the morning. It just goes to show how utter silliness seems to escelate in this channel, espectally when Prof, Crow and me are all there at the same time.

If you haven't got DALEKFLY.WAV, go download it now.

Tue May 12
<KingSpyder> Hey people, I need some help.
<KingSpyder> I need to find a diagram of a Dalek.  A how to build type
             thing.  I need a full life size job.
<Gummo> What do you need a full life size one for?
<KingSpyder> A friend and I are planning a little project involving a
             camera :)
<Nathan_Roberts> The DalekCam?
 * KingSpyder stares at Nathan_Roberts
<Innocet> Doc04 is building a Tardis, KS is building a Dalek - whats next?
          Innocet builds the House of Lungbarrow, News at eleven.
<ShyCompanion> LOL
<KingSpyder> Noooo....A film type thingie.
<Nathan_Roberts> Stick a camera in a Dalek and go chasing people around
                 with it?
<Innocet> hehe
 * KingSpyder fwaps Nathan_Roberts
<Innocet> thatd be funny
<Gummo> My partner and I used to dream like that. Then we took a look at
        our bank accounts.
<ShyCompanion> Hmm movie prop... garbage can and golf balls....
 * KingSpyder fwaps ShyCompanion
<ShyCompanion> oh and a plunger
<Innocet> dont forget the potty plunger
 * KingSpyder stares at Innocet
<ShyCompanion> LOL
 * Innocet ducks
 * Innocet hides from KS's fury
<Nathan_Roberts> Hey, that's what they used on the original! :)
<KingSpyder> I'd tell you all what we're planning, but we're in the very
             early stages right now and I don't want to get to far just
             incase it doesn't pan out.
<ShyCompanion> its a Tim Allen thing... Build a working Dalek and end up in
               the hospital... :)
<Innocet> ack LOL
 * ShyCompanion ducks
 * KingSpyder bookshops ShyCompanion
<ShyCompanion> LOL :)
<KingSpyder> Duck from that! :)
<Innocet> imagine a Dalek with a Cessna engine propelling it - no trouble
          with stairs at that point
<ShyCompanion> ROFL
<Innocet> itd reach escape velocity :)
<ShyCompanion> EXTERMINAT... ACK!!!
<Innocet> laugh! :)
<Nathan_Roberts> EX-TER-MI-NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate..
                 ::fades off into the distance::
<Innocet> :):)
<ShyCompanion> :)
<Nathan_Roberts> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE ::CRASH::  ::Lands in
<Innocet> 'Tim, whats that bright light in the sky?'  'Nothing honey, just
          a deal i worked out with Davros.'
<ShyCompanion> Thanks for flying Dalek airlines....
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFLMAO
<Innocet> 'He needed to conquer stairs. I helped him a bit.'
<Nathan_Roberts> Bwahahahahahaha!
<Innocet> :):)
 * Nathan_Roberts is now getting very silly mental images involving a Dalek
   with a rocket-booster...
<Innocet> if Tim Allen had anything to do with it, Nate, the Dalek would
          have two solid rocket boosters on its sides
<Nathan_Roberts> I was thinking of making a WAV somehow...
 * ShyCompanion thinks of the shuttle challenger....
<Nathan_Roberts> "This is a Dalek..." - "EX-TER-MIN-ATE!"
<Innocet> ack
<Nathan_Roberts> "This is a Dalek with twin solid strap-on rocket boosters..."
                 - "EX-TER-MIN-AAAAAAAAAAATEEEEE!!!! ::crash through
                 the roof::"
<Innocet> LOL
<Nathan_Roberts> "Any questions?"
<ShyCompanion> LOL
<Nathan_Roberts> <some kind of ambient sound indicating a location
                 elsewhere in the world>
<Nathan_Roberts> "aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!"  <CRASH!>
<Innocet> 'This is your brain.' <pic of an egg in a skillet> 'This is your
          brain after Davros got ahold of it.' <pic of egg yolks lining a
          garbage can on wheels, wielding a plunger>  'Any questions?'
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFL
<Drake> "when making your Dalek,make sure you have the handyman's helper.......
        .........Duct tape"
<Innocet> :):)
<Nathan_Roberts> Hahahahaha
<Innocet> haahaa

[Some point in the meantime, I create the now famous (hopefully) DALEKFLY.WAV]

 * Nathan_Roberts is certifiably nuts...
<Nathan_Roberts> My latest WAV...
<Nathan_Roberts> The idea stemmed from an earlier conversation in the room.
<Nathan_Roberts> Prof, are you paying attention???
 * Nathan_Roberts bonks Prof in the headwith a 3.048m pole
 * Nathan_Roberts Prof get over here!
<SuperProf> You rang?
<Nathan_Roberts> Grab that WAV!
<AldenB> Get your super ass in here!
[Prof grabs 44MAG.WAV]
<Nathan_Roberts> No, not that one!
<SuperProf> LOL.
[Nathan sends Prof the proper WAV]
<Nathan_Roberts> That one!
<SuperProf> I'll sue you Alden! That is SuperAss tm! You infringed on my
            ass's trade mark!
 * Nathan_Roberts laugh maniacally... he's made a total ass of himself
   this time...
<SuperProf> No Nathan. Change that to still.
[Crow hears the WAV]
<CrowTRobt> hahaha
<SuperProf> ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!
 * AldenB waits impaitently for the wav to finish downloading.
 * Nathan_Roberts kicks Alden's DCC
 * AldenB ROT13's DCC and gets "ASS"
<AldenB> Oi!
 * SuperProf watches as a Dalek flies over his house swearing at nathan.
<CrowTRobt> whose that talking on there?
<Nathan_Roberts> Crow: Me!
<CrowTRobt> He sounds familiar
<CrowTRobt> now where have I heard that voice before...
<Nathan_Roberts> You should know, we talked on Netmeeting three days ago
<CrowTRobt> hmmm
<CrowTRobt> I'll remember in a min
<AldenB> ROTFL!!!!!!
<Nathan_Roberts> Actually, this isn't quite how I wanted it to turn out
<CrowTRobt> damn. Don't you hate it when your mind draws a blank
<AldenB> I love it!
<Nathan_Roberts> The first part is great, but I wanted something else to
                 follow it.
<AldenB> Exterminaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
<Nathan_Roberts> It would be something like...
<Nathan_Roberts> ::ambient sound or music indication a location on the
                 other side of the world::
<Nathan_Roberts> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!! ::CRASH!!!::
<CrowTRobt> Do the doctor next Nate
<CrowTRobt> This is the Doctor <tom baker> "Hallo I'm the doctor!"
<Nathan_Roberts> DSE, did you get that wave?
<Nathan_Roberts> I may not get as far as that, let alone making any more
                 wavs like it...
<AldenB> This is your Brian.  This is your Brian of Morbius.
<Nathan_Roberts> This is sounding like a stupider idea by the minute...
<Nathan_Roberts> LOL
<CrowTRobt> you could have some chinese sounding music play ant then have
            the dalek crash in
<Nathan_Roberts> It didn't seem as good an idea as it did earlier tonight...
<Nathan_Roberts> Crow: That's what I was thinking
<Nathan_Roberts> I also need a good, loud, prolonged crash WAV
<CrowTRobt> It *is* funny Nate you ought to work with it
<Nathan_Roberts> Can't wait until Innocet and ShyCompanion show up again...
                 they're the ones that inspired this...
[Dse hears the WAV]
<dse> LOL
<dse> good wav
<Nathan_Roberts> I think we have a new classic here... :)
 * AldenB waits for Jack Bevan to show up........
<Nathan_Roberts> :)
 * SuperProf is super worried about all of us. I can see the men in the
   white coats calling for reinforcements
<SuperProf> Nathan that is instant classic.
[SuperProfSOUND] dalekfly.wav
<SuperProf> That is the sound of the most surprised Dalek in history.
<SuperProf> If a Dalek could soil his shorts that one did.
<Nathan_Roberts> Bwahahahaha!
<SuperProf> brb. Got to get the wife to hear that one.
[SuperProf SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<AldenB> Meanwhile, somewhere on Mars....  "What iss that noisse?"
         "aaaaaaAAAAAAATE!!!!!" *crunch*
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFLMAO
<CrowTRobt> That sould be twin strap-on solid rocket boosters
<Nathan_Roberts> Pedant!
<Nathan_Roberts> Actually, taht would probably be easy to edit...
[SOUND] dalekfly.wav
 * SuperProf Newsfash! Dalek almost wins race up the Empire Stae
   building until it impacks into the 83rd floor!
<SuperProf> Nathan the wife loved the wav too.
<Nathan_Roberts> That's 10 thumbs's up!
<Nathan_Roberts> And counting!
<Nathan_Roberts> Ok, rough cut of the compainion wave...
 * AldenB sings I see a little shilloheto of a man.
<CrowTRobt> hahaha
<AldenB> Muahahaha!
[SuperProf SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<SuperProf> Had to hear it one more time.

[SuperProf SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<SuperProf> One question?
<Nathan_Roberts> Hmm?
<CrowTRobt> that voice is soooooooo familiar
 * Nathan_Roberts fwaps Crow
<SuperProf> Do Daleks say "Oh SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!"
<Nathan_Roberts> Whahahahahahaha!
<SuperProf> Second Question.
<Nathan_Roberts> Hmm?
<SuperProf> Do Daleks have air bags?
<Nathan_Roberts> Hahahaha
[SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<Nathan_Roberts> Sure doesn't sound like it.
<AldenB> Air bags?  Daleks don't get married, do they? ;-)
 * AldenB wishes top retract that last statement.
<Nathan_Roberts> Afraid the Profess will see it?

[Prof and I have been discussing yet another variaton...]

<Nathan_Roberts> My idea would be mor along the lines of the dalek coming
                 down screaming, then you hear Sarah scream, then a Splat
<SuperProf> DO IT!!!!!!
<SuperProf> I love it!
<Nathan_Roberts> I'm too tired.  I'm falling asleep
<SuperProf> Rats.
<SuperProf> I do like that idea.
<AldenB> Prof likes the idea of Sarah being splattered by a falling Dalek?
<Nathan_Roberts> yeah.
<SuperProf> I do. I need help.
<Nathan_Roberts> Or a microwave door
 * SuperProf thinks tightening that gas line here might also help.
<AldenB> Maybe moving away from those overhead power lines......
<SuperProf> I like those. I hang the wet laundry on them.
[SOUND] explosion3.wav
 * SuperProf begins to tighten the gas line and lights a match to
   see better.
*** SuperProf is now known as BlownToBitsProf

<TheProf> Boy Nathan's ego is exploding. Did you see the rooms he is in?
<TheProf> Nathan_Roberts on @#drwhochat @#NathanisaGod @NathanisKing
          @#NathanrulestheWorld #WomenofTahiti.
[TheProf SOUND] 44mag.wav
<AldenB> Agh!
 * AldenB goes to change his trousers.
<TheProf> LOL. I was trying to get nathan's attention, not startle
          someone 8,000 miles away.
<Nathan_Roberts> Nathan_Roberts on @#NathanIsGettingReadyToGoToBed
<Nathan_Roberts> Nathan_Roberts on
<TheProf> Nathan I make your life interesting.
[SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<TheProf> Nathan I still laugh when I hear that wav and how many times have
          we played it?
<AldenB> Prof: 9
[SOUND] dalekfly.wav
[TheProf SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<AldenB> OK, 11 now.
[SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<TheProf> The only way we could improve that wav is if we could have a wav
          of the Dalek saying "Holy Shit!" for the rocket booster part.

<AldenB> We haven't finished throwing Daleks around yet then?
<TheProf> Just added the explosion to the Dalek hitting the Earth.
<TheProf> Not yet. K-9 is next.
<AldenB> We're going to throw Nathan's script around?
<TheProf> I just like blowing things up.
<TheProf> What was the last thing to go through that daleks mind?
<Nathan_Roberts> Dalek's don't have butts...
<TheProf> His wheels.
<Nathan_Roberts> This is going to become a quotefile special at this rate...
<TheProf> LOL
 * Nathan_Roberts laughs a silly, high-pitched laugh going through
   tonight's logs
*** TheProf changes topic to "101 abuses for your pet Dalek."
 * AldenB trots outside for a moment and comes back with a titanium
<TheProf> LOL
[TheProf SOUND] dalekfly.wav
<TheProf> For some reason I have the image of the Dalek coming in head
          first still intent on killing something before he gets impaled
          50 feet into the ground.
<AldenB> What do you call it when someone has too much time on
         their hands? :-)
<Nathan_Roberts> Alden: Nathan Syndrome.
<Nathan_Roberts> Or, alternately, Prof Syndrome
<TheProf> LOL
<TheProf> It's like the Dalek is thinking "Yes it is going to kill both
          of us when I hit you at 500 mph but I'm going to shoot you first!"

<TheProf> Dalekfly is just a wonderful idea.
<TheProf> The images it brings to mind are great.
<Nathan_Roberts> It's definately my best creation since Hulaboom :)
<Nathan_Roberts> Hell, it's better than hulaboom :)
<TheProf> No question.
<Nathan_Roberts> Too bad Synaesta was around to hear it... She'd really
                 appreciate it :)
<TheProf> You can just see this poor Dalek rocketing to his doom. I never
          thought I would feel sorry for a Dalek.
<Nathan_Roberts> ROTFL
<TheProf> Yes someone talked this poor Dalek into wearing these
          rocket booster.
<TheProf> "Come on Mr Dalek this will be fun" and the Dalek said "ok".
<TheProf> Daleks don't get to have fun very often.
<Nathan_Roberts> Wow... That's all the Doctor ever had to do to defeat the
<Nathan_Roberts> Just convince them all to wear strap-on rockets and set
                 them all off.... Hell, if Davros could convince them all
                 to put on hi-power explosives and blow up the
                 Movellan ship...
<TheProf> Thsi Dalek just thought he was going to have a little fun and you
          blast him off to his death.........Nathan you bastard! you killed
          a sweet innocent little Dalek.
<TheProf> This reminds me of a joke a friend of mine said one time. We were
          in Toys R Us and we saw the Rambo Bike shield for the front of a
          kids bike.  It was a stupid piece of plexiglass, Cheap little thing.
          My friend starts saying "Here we are today to test the durability of
          the  Rambo Bike shield. Here to help us see if can stop a 44 magnum
          bullet is 10 year old Johnny Williams. Just get on the bike
          Johnny..........Oh no. Little Johny's down
<TheProf> I had visions in my mind of this stupid little kid sitting on this
          bike behind the rambo bike shield as someone fired this bullet
          through it. Here is this kid with this stupid smile thinking the
          Rambo bike shield was going to save him.
<TheProf> Now my friend did this and that vision came into my mind and I laughed
          so hard I had tears in my eyes and here I am in the middle of
          Toys R Us with everyone thinking I was on drugs or something.
<Nathan_Roberts> I needed to gone to bed
 * Nathan_Roberts begins to melt and slide off the chair into a puddle on
   the floor
<TheProf> Nathan get some sleep. I need to as well. I worked 10 hours today.
 * Nathan_Roberts oozes around on the floor
<Brig1963> arGH!! Changling!!!
 * Nathan_Roberts oozes in the general direction of his bed
 * TheProf does the same. Night gents.
*** TheProf has quit IRC (Quit: I'm insane for Sarah Jane.)
*** Nathan_Roberts has quit IRC

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