The #drwhochat Quotefile
Special Feature:

Top 200 Things to do with a Full-Scale Model Dalek

Collected from the IRC chat room #drwhochat on DALnet


  1. Christmas tree decoration - [Muad_Dib]
  2. Christmas tree itself - Nathan_Roberts
  3. Tool chest - Leela
  4. Fashion model. To keep all the people complaining about the fashion industry promoting anorexia - Vila_NZ
  5. Can opener - Starfury
  6. Body for prototype rocket-car - Vila_NZ
  7. Tour guide at Skaroworld - weasel-
  8. Short temper cook - Vila_NZ
  9. Garden shed - Starfury
  10. Cone to wind your wool around - Vila_NZ
  11. Use it as a really cool letterbox - Vila_NZ
  12. Portable shower unit - Leela
  13. Portable toilet - Salia
  14. Paint numbers on the side and put a really fit person in it and you win the award for most rediculous Tour de France entry.... - Falcadore_Dali
  15. Cool printer stand - [Muad_Dib]
  16. Compost bin - Vila_NZ
  17. Garden gnome - Vila_NZ
  18. Place to hide spare house keys - Vila_NZ
  19. Drink dispenser - Starfury {"Press the left light for diet, right light for regular. Any attempt to tilt this machine will not release money and may result in extermination" - [Muad_Dib]}
  20. Pool cleaner - Salia
  21. Super Soaker 5000X - Salia
  22. Fill it with silly putty, 'nuff said - Heptite
  23. Spray it with silly string, put on a kooky hat, and it's New Year's Eve all year long! - BGhoti
  24. Lemon juicer for giant lemons - abates
  25. Submarine - Starfury
  26. Seattle apartment - Nyssa
  27. Pin cushion. Drill required - Vila_NZ
  28. Ant farm - Leela
  29. Short order cook - Starfury
  30. Talking alarm clock. Like, wake up now or you will be exterminated! - Vila_NZ
  31. Ink holder! Better than all those breakeable glass bottles cluttering up my bedroom tables and waiting to be destroyed, spreading purple colour over the carpet... - Vila_NZ
  32. Have 4 Dalkes do a dance to 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' - MegL
  33. Laundry basket - Starfury
  34. Target at one of those fair things they have in Americaland and not here. "Hit the Dalek with this ball, survive, and we give yo ua teddy bear" - Vila_NZ
  35. Pose in Katty manning-esque photos with it - MsMaeWest
  36. Stick it on top of a car and rent it out to high school kids on prom night - weasel-
  37. Stick a safe in it - Heptite
  38. Two words: Dictionary paperweight - BGhoti
  39. Use it as the baddest ass Linux box ever known to humankind - weasel-
  40. Children's game. Fit the round thingy on the Dalek thingy blindfolded without getting exterminated.. - Vila_NZ
  41. Punching bag. Boxing gloves recommended - Vila_NZ
  42. Use it to answer the door when it's encyclopaedia salespeople or suchlike.. - Vila_NZ {Leela thinks of using Vila's suggestion for Mormons... - Leela}
  43. Coffee table - Vila_NZ
  44. Noveelty server case - Nyssa
  45. Toaster oven - Chibi-L
  46. Have trouble when camping 'cause you're always losing your compass? Our Dalek-mounted super-compass can never be lost in your pocket - Come to our showroom and see why! Take it everywhere with you! but wait there's more! If you call now - aruggghhh am exterminated, am exterminated... - Vila_NZ
  47. Cheap sci-fi monster! - Starfury {"Who you callin' cheap?" - Nathan_Roberts}
  48. Tow it around the highways with your car, pretend you're trying to outrun it. - Heptite
  49. Tow it behind a bicycle downhill and watch it outrun you - Salia
  50. Get some mad friend to turn it into, like, a town cuckoo clock! Beats "What's the time Mr. Wolf?" for the kiddies - If you're around at dinner time you jolly well get exterminated! - Vila_NZ
  51. Magician's assistant, for a bad magicial. It doesn't really care if you stick swords into it, you see. Can't really put it in a tutu and call it 'Sharon', though... - Vila_NZ
  52. Milking machine - [Muad_Dib]
  53. Stick it in your driveway and wash it, see how many people ask you about it. - Heptite
  54. Chimney decoration - [Muad_Dib]
  55. Place to hide your amazing stereo's speakers. When the noise control people come to confiscate your stuff, they can't find it, so you explain you're a Doctor Who fan, offer them a cup of tea and explain about the Dalek... - Vila_NZ
  56. Craftmaster adjustable Dalek - weasel-
  57. Give it a sign saying 'buy Doctor Who stuff or you will be exterminated' and put it in a big book shop as a permanent ad - Vila_NZ
  58. TARDIS - Leela
  59. Watch dog - Starfury
  60. Pendulum weight for a large clock - Vila_NZ
  61. Special emmisary to Fox Broadcasting.... - Nyssa
  62. Rollercoaster car - [Muad_Dib]
  63. Washing machine - Salia
  64. Feed it your nasty cough syrup so you don't have to taste it - Starfury
  65. Feed it your vegetables so you don't have to eat them - Nathan_Roberts
  66. Cheerleader! ("2 4 6 8, EXTERMINATE!") - Starfury
  67. Outdoor grill - Salia {Char grilled thal, coming right up, EXTERMINATE! - Falcadore_Dali}
  68. Roll it across a TV studio when they're filming - Heptite
  69. Budist monk - Vila_NZ
  70. Excuse for not going on dates. "Sorry, I'm busy Friday with my poor distressed friend Dalek. Lost his home planet, you know... Very upset... Keeps asking for a Mr. Dave Ross"... - Vila_NZ {"Come to think of it, I've got a friend who's called Dave Ross!" - [Muad_Dib]}
  71. Boyfriend - Starfury
  72. Battering-ram thingy! For breaking down doors! - Vila_NZ
  73. Bird bath - Leela
  74. Porn Star - Leela {Been there, done that - Nathan_Roberts}
  75. Child's swimmingpool toy - [Muad_Dib]
  76. Dance partner. You can't cheat and stand on its feet! - Vila_NZ
  77. Traffic cop. - Heptite
  78. A full Dalek entourage - weasel-
  79. Political symbol - [Muad_Dib]
  80. National monument - Vila_NZ
  81. Flip-top bin - [Muad_Dib]
  82. Halloween costume - Salia {"How unimaginative" - Nathan_Roberts}
  83. Fit lights and a horn: Ultramodern scarecrow - [Muad_Dib]
  84. Big cookie jar - Salia
  85. Ventriloquist's dummy - Vila_NZ
  86. Really strange hat - Leela
  87. Lawn furniture - Leela
  88. Mascot asassin! See the headlines! "RUBBISH BIN BRUTALLY EXTERMINATES AMERICAN ICON MICKEY MOUSE" - Starfury
  89. Diaper bin - Starfury
  90. Ready-made snowman, just paint white - Vila_NZ
  91. Pace Car at the next Indy 500 - weasel-
  92. A lawyer. The sort that only ever speaks to say "no comment" on behalf of his client.. - Vila_NZ
  93. Gumball machine - Leela
  94. Fit a motion detector and a strobe: Cool burglar alarm - [Muad_Dib]
  95. Climbing plant frame - [Muad_Dib]
  96. Excuse for not turning in your homework! - Starfury
  97. Industrial Sized Bread Maker! - weasel-
  98. Jello mould - Starfury
  99. Artistic statement about whatever is currently controversial. Evolution, maybe? - Vila_NZ
  100. When people ask what it is, or what it's for, you tell them, "I could tell you, but then it'd have to kill you." - Heptite {"Or IT would have to kill you" - Nathan_Roberts}
  101. Four words: this is a stickup - Starfury
  102. Paint it like a hippy and take it to a coffee house with you - Starfury
  103. Bomb hider. Great for IRA people, of whom there aren't supposed to be any - Vila_NZ
  104. Substitute sheep dog - Starfury
  105. High Scool Football team mascot! - Heptite
  106. The talk show circuit! - Heptite {Oprah leans towards the Dalek Supreme and asks, "You've been a mass murderer for some time, are you comfortable with that role in society?" - Falcadore_Dali}
  107. Gerneral dispenser - peanuts/condoms/pencils/chocolate/Dalek brand cola... - Vila_NZ
  108. Once-in-a-lifetime firework? Fill it with gunpowder and watch out, or it might destroy your house! - Vila_NZ
  109. UHF/VHF aerial - Vila_NZ
  110. Silly string dispenser - Nyssa
  111. Well, if you live in one of those apartment buildings we see on the telly, the really tall ones, put a wire from your window/the roof to something on the ground and arrange so you can gracefully 'fly' the Dalek down it after affixing coloured lights, then wait for the UFO reports to come in... - Vila_NZ
  112. Half a home dodgem car set! - Vila_NZ
  113. A real funky Jukebox - weasel-
  114. If it's a Davros model you could use it for a desk chair - Starfury
  115. Security guard - Meglos
  116. Quarry detector. Drop it from a plane and see where it lands - Vila_NZ
  117. Jewellery box for the Queen - Vila_NZ
  118. Decoy (Set it in your yard and hope a TARDIS shows up.) - Heptite
  119. Drinking fountain - Starfury
  120. Plant pot - [Muad_Dib]
  121. Child-sized telephone box - Vila_NZ
  122. Use it as a door to door salesman! - Starfury
  123. Prison officer. The prisoners behave because they're never let out or fed, so they never try to escape 'cause they're a bit on the dead side... - Vila_NZ {"More like the prisoners behave cos they've been exterminated" - Starfury}
  124. Ask it to answer the phone when you have company over. - Heptite
  125. Plunger - Nyssa
  126. Something for an elephant to stand on in a circus? I'm running out of ideas. - Vila_NZ
  127. The ultimate mouse trap. - Heptite
  128. Gameshow host - [Muad_Dib]
  129. Fish tank - Starfury
  130. Lawn mower - Starfury
  131. Use it as a hatstand - [Muad_Dib]
  132. Salon hair dryer - Nyssa
  133. Magnet holder - Nyssa
  134. Rabbit hutch - Vila_NZ
  135. BIIIG disk box - [Muad_Dib]
  136. Coat rail - [Muad_Dib]
  137. Pop psychologist! - Starfury
  138. Teapot for parties - Nyssa
  139. A bidet - weasel-
  140. Foot operated garbage bin, hinges already installed... - Falcadore_Dali
  141. Modify it as an ornamental fountain - [Muad_Dib]
  142. Politician! - Meglos
  143. During the winter, build snowmen that look like they've been zapped. Put the dalek out there. - Heptite
  144. Artificial acid trip, give someone an aspirin then wheel in the Dalek and watch the fun begin... - Falcadore_Dali
  145. Traffic cone - Vila_NZ
  146. Fill dalek with ice... Instant ice chest for cold drinks - Salia
  147. Demolishing ball - Vila_NZ
  148. Live trap for raccoons - Leela
  149. Coffee maker - Chibi-L
  150. Dishwasher - Salia
  151. Bury it in the garden to confuse future archeologists - Vila_NZ
  152. Jacuzzi! - weasel-
  153. Turn it into a bug zapper - Heptite
  154. Sprinkler - Starfury
  155. Notice board. Blu-tack required - Vila_NZ
  156. Play your Who CD's on it - Heptite
  157. Tool shed - weasel-
  158. Bottle substitute, for when you've got a big floor space. Like, spin the Dalek. Is the sucker arm pointing at you? - Vila_NZ
  159. Motorbike sidecar - [Muad_Dib]
  160. Really big drink for football games - Starfury
  161. Popcorn popper - Chibi-L
  162. Charge money for people to get their pictures taken with it. - Heptite
  163. Watering trough - Leela
  164. Put it on Mars for the probe to find. - Heptite
  165. Really confusing rubbish bin. Lift it up to turn it the right way up and all the rubbish falls out. Keep it the right way up and it won't balance - Vila_NZ
  166. Cruse around a con with it - MegL
  167. Skateboard substitute, take it to the top of a hill, jump on, and wheeeeeeeee.............. - [Muad_Dib]
  168. Fishing weight for REALLY deep fishing - Vila_NZ
  169. Door guard (Like those lions) - Heptite
  170. Secretary. Relieves your stress by not answering the phone, so you have no appointments, not bringing you coffee, so you're not tense, and not doing any typing so you have nothing to sign and no work to do - Vila_NZ
  171. Footstool - Vila_NZ
  172. Shopping trolly - [Muad_Dib]
  173. Those 'lifeguard' things you use to prevent accident when you're using a power tool outside on an extension lead. - Vila_NZ
  174. Fill it with plastic explosives and call it "The Trojan Dalek" - Vila_NZ's brother
  175. Anti-drink driving barman. He doesn't serve drunks. He also doesn't serve drinks. - Vila_NZ
  176. Anchor for your dingy for when you're going fishing. Slight logistical problems involved... - Vila_NZ
  177. Navigation buoy - [Muad_Dib]
  178. Fake palm tree, leaves not included - Vila_NZ
  179. Judge! - Heptite
  180. Orkin's new "Exterminator!" - Nathan_Roberts
  181. VCR - Leela
  182. Thing on which to vent your anger with axe, knife, car etc. My brother has always used pumpkins, but I'm sure Daleks are better. - Vila_NZ {More like the Dalek would vent its anger on you - Nathan_Roberts}
  183. Slip and Slide - weasel-
  184. Toilet cleaner - Starfury
  185. Parade it around a major city as a publicity stunt. - Heptite
  186. Fill them with a life-time supply of salt and pepper - MsMaeWest
  187. Toilet paper dispenser - Starfury
  188. Mascot for new political party! - Starfury
  189. Customized wheel chair - Salia
  190. Really BIG cigarette lighter - weasel-
  191. Claw sharpening 'tree' for your cat. Carpet wrap-around not supplied - Vila_NZ
  192. A gravestone for Terry Nation - weasel-
  193. Tooth cleaner - Starfury
  194. Dental drill - Starfury
  195. Fit a remote control and frighten the postman - [Muad_Dib]
  196. Get a whole bunch of them and recreate the events of "The Dalek Invasion of Earth" (Use paper plates hung by string for the space ships; it worked for the BBC) - Starfury
  197. Take it as backup when you march down to the local TV station to campaign for some Who repeats. If all else fails, have it threaten to kill any cowardly-looking clerky-type people who're cluttering up the place - Vila_NZ
  198. Carwash machine - [Muad_Dib]
  199. NZ ambassador to Oz, maybe. Or maybe a replacement to NZ's Treasurer, Mr. Winston Peters. Make him less wooden and more truthful.. - Vila_NZ
  200. Take it to Disneyland! - [Muad_Dib]

Quote of the day:
<chipan> what is a dalek?
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